World’s Funniest One Liners

Don’t argue with an fool. He’ll drag you all the way down to his stage and beat you with expertise.

I need to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling just like the passengers in his automotive.

I requested God for a motorcycle, however I do know God would not work that manner. So I stole a motorcycle and requested for forgiveness.

Intercourse shouldn’t be the reply. Intercourse is the query. “Sure” is the reply.

Going to church would not make you a Christian any greater than standing in a storage makes you a automotive.

We reside in a society the place pizza will get to your home earlier than the police.

Ladies may be capable to fake orgasms. However males can faux an entire relationship.

The very last thing I need to do is damage you. However it’s nonetheless on the record.

Gentle travels sooner than sound. Because of this some individuals seem brilliant till you hear them communicate.

If I agreed with you we might each be improper.

Males have two feelings: Hungry and Sexy. When you see him with out an erection, make him a sandwich.

We by no means actually develop up, we solely learn to act in public.

Battle doesn’t decide who is correct – solely who’s left.

Data is figuring out a tomato is a fruit; Knowledge shouldn’t be placing it in a fruit salad.

Kids: You spend the primary 2 years of their life educating them to stroll and discuss. Then you definately spend the following 16 years telling them to sit down down and shut-up.

Politicians and diapers have one factor in widespread. They need to each be modified commonly, and for a similar cause.

My mom by no means noticed the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Having intercourse is like enjoying bridge. If you do not have a very good companion, you’d higher have a very good hand.

The early chook may get the worm, however the second mouse will get the cheese.

Night information is the place they start with ‘Good night’, after which proceed to let you know why it is not.

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