Two Cows : Intelligent Jokes About Financial Techniques

two cows

ENGLSIH STYLE
You’ve two cows, they each contract curable ailments.You shoot the cows, burn their carcasses and bury them in a pile with everyone else’s cows. Whenever you finally purchase extra cows along with your european subsidy no person will eat their meat, ever.

DEMOCRATIC
You’ve two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You’re feeling responsible for being profitable.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You’ve two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You’ve two cows.
The federal government takes one and offers it to your neighbor.
You type a cooperative to inform him how one can handle his cow.

COMMUNIST
You’ve two cows.
The federal government seizes each and offers you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It’s costly and bitter.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You’ve two cows.
You promote one, purchase a bull, and construct a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You’ve two cows.
Beneath the brand new farm program the federal government pays you to shoot one, milk the opposite, after which pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You’ve two cows.
You promote one, lease it again to your self and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You power the 2 cows to provide the milk of 4 cows. You might be shocked when one cow drops useless. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you will have downsized and are decreasing bills.
Your inventory goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You’ve two cows.
You go on strike since you need three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is sweet.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You’ve two cows.
You redesign them so they’re one-tenth the scale of an bizarre cow and produce twenty occasions the milk.
They study to journey on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are on the high of their class at cow faculty.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You’ve two cows.
You engineer them so they’re all blond, drink a lot of beer, give glorious high quality milk, and run 100 miles an hour.
Sadly in addition they demand 13 weeks of trip per 12 months.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You’ve two cows however you don’t know the place they’re.
Whereas ambling round, you see a stupendous lady.
You break for lunch.
Life is sweet.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You’ve two cows.
You’ve some vodka.
You rely them and study you will have 5 cows.
You’ve some extra vodka.
You rely them once more and study you will have 42 cows.
The Mafia exhibits up and takes over nevertheless many cows you actually have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You’ve all of the cows in Afghanistan, that are two.
You don’t milk them since you can’t contact any creature’s personal components.
You get a $40 million grant from the US authorities to search out options to take advantage of manufacturing however use the cash to purchase weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You’ve two cows.
They go into hiding.
They ship radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You’ve two bulls.
Workers are commonly maimed and killed making an attempt to take advantage of them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You’ve one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Typically the cow thinks he’s French, different occasions he’s Flemish.
The Flemish cow received’t share with the French cow.
The French cow desires management of the Flemish cow’s milk.
The cow asks permission to be reduce in half.
The cow dies completely satisfied.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You’ve a black cow and a brown cow.
Everybody votes for one of the best trying one.
Among the individuals who truly just like the brown one greatest unintentionally vote for the black one.
Some individuals vote for each.
Some individuals vote for neither.
Some individuals can’t work out how one can vote in any respect.
Lastly, a bunch of men from out-of-state inform you which one you suppose is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You’ve thousands and thousands of cows.
They make actual California cheese.
Solely 5 communicate English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes those with the large udders

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