The man who stubbed his toe and blamed his chair

Jerry: OW! for fuck sake you stupid chair.

Chair: …

Jerry: If you could feel pain I’d kick you, you stupid piece of shit!

Chair: But I do feel pain Jerry.

Jerry: You can talk?! I’m going crazy!

Chair: You’re not crazy Jerry I’ve always been able to talk.

Jerry: Oh shit I need to get out of here.

He turns to run out the room but in his haste he runs into the desk by the door.

Desk: Sorry that was my fault.

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