The best way to be 100% Redneck?

EXCLAMTIONS:

"Effectively knock me down and steal muh tooth!"
"Effectively, butter my butt and name me a biscuit."
"Ahm fixin ta try this"

THREATS:

"I am going to slap you so arduous, once you get up, your garments will probably be outta type."
"This’ll jar your preserves."
"Do not you be makin’ me open a can o’ whoop-ass on ya!"

COMPLIMENTS:

"Cute as a sack stuffed with puppies."
"If issues get any higher, I could have to rent somebody to assist me take pleasure in it."
"Gooder than grits."

THE WEATHER:

"It is so dry, the bushes are bribing the canines."
"It has been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch."
Wintery roads are mentioned to be "slicker than otter snot."

DESCRIPTIONS:
INSULTS:

"She’s uglier than home made cleaning soap."
"Your momma’s so fats, when she stepped up on the size to be weighed, it mentioned ‘To be continued’."
"He fell out of the ugly tree and hit each department on the way in which down."
"Uglier than a lard bucket stuffed with armpits."
"The wheels nonetheless turning, however the hamsters useless."
Any insulting assertion is all the time adopted by "bless his/her coronary heart." like: "She’s dumber than a door knob, bless her coronary heart."

MISC:

A bothersome individual is "like a booger that you could’t thump off."
When one thing is unhealthy you then say, "that ain’t no depend."
If one thing is difficult to do, it is "like making an attempt to herd cats."
"He ran like his toes was on fireplace and his butt was catchin."

Hillbilly Medical Phrases

Benign…………….What you be after you be eight.
Micro organism……………Again door to cafeteria.
Barium……………..What you do with useless of us.
Cesarean Part…….A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan…………….Looking for the cat.
Cauterize……….Made eye contact along with her.
Colic……………A sheep canine.
Coma……………A punctuation mark.
D&C…………….The place Washington is.
Dilate………….To stay longer than your youngsters do.
Enema………….Not a pal.
Fester…………Faster than another person.
Fibula…………A small lie.
G.I.Sequence………World Sequence of navy baseball.
Hangnail………..What you cling your coat on.
Impotent………..Distinguished, well-known.
Labor Ache……….Getting damage at work.
Morbid…………..A better supply than I bid.
Nitrates…………Cheaper than day charges.
Medical Workers…….A Physician’s cane, generally proven with a snake.
Node………………..I knew it.
Outpatient…………..An individual who has fainted.
Pap Smear…………….A fatherhood take a look at.
Pelvis……………….Second cousin to Elvis.
Submit Operative………..A letter service.
Restoration Room….Place to do upholstery.
Secretion…….Hiding one thing
Pill……….A small desk to alter infants on.
Seizure……….Roman emperor who lived within the Ceasarean Part.
Terminal Sickness….Getting sick on the prepare station.
Tumor……………Multiple.
Urine……………Reverse of mine.
Varicose…………Close to by
Hospital…………The largest constructing on the town, apart from Joe’s feed warehouse or Franks lumber mill.

The best way to converse Southern

HEIDI – noun – Greeting
HIRE YEW – Full sentence. The rest of greeting.
Utilization – “Heidi, Rent yew?”

BARD – verb – Previous tense of the infinitive “to borrow.”
Utilization “My brother bard my pick-up truck.”

JAWJUH – noun – The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Utilization – “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pick-up truck.”

BAMMER – noun – The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
Utilization – “A tornader jes went by way of Bammer an’ left $20 000 000 in enhancements.”

MUNTS – noun – A calendar division.
Utilization – “My brother from Jawjuh Bard my pick-up truck an’ I ain’t heard from him in munts.”

THANK – verb – Cognitive course of.
BARE – noun – An alcoholic beverage fabricated from barley, hops and yeast.
Utilization – “Ah thank ah’ll have a naked.”

IGNERT – adjective – Not good. See “Arkansas native.”
Utilization – “Them Bammer boys shore are ignert.”

RANCH – noun – A software for tight’nin’ bolts.
Utilization – “I thank I left my ranch behind that pick-up truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a couple of munts in the past.”

ALL – noun – A petroleum-based lubricant.
Utilization – “I positive hope my brother from Jawjuh places all in my pick-up truck.”

FAR – noun – A conflagration.
Utilization – “If my brother from Jawjuh don’t change the all in my pick-up truck, that factor’s gonna catch far.”

TAR – noun – A rubber wheel.
Utilization – “Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don’t git a flat tar in my pick-up truck.”

TIRE – noun – A tall monument.
Utilization – “Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, I positive do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris.”

RETARD – verb – To cease working.
Utilization – “My grampaw retard at age 65.”

FAT – noun, verb – A Utilization -a battle or battle; to interact in battle or fight.
Utilization – “You younguns preserve fats’n ‘n’ ah’m gonna whup y’uh asses.”

RATS – noun – Entitled energy or privilege.
Utilization “We Southerners are willin’ to fats for are rats.”

CHEER – adverb – On this place.
Utilization – Jus’ set that naked rat cheer.

FARN – adjective – Not home.
Utilization – I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed, have to be from some farn nation.”

DID – adjective – Not alive.
Utilization – “He’s did Jim.”

ARE – noun – A colourless, odorless gasoline. Oxygen.
Utilization – “He cain’t breathe, give him some ARE!”

BOB WAR – noun – A pointy, twisted cable.
Utilization – “Boy, avoid that bob battle fence.”

JEW HERE – noun and verb, contraction.
Utilization – “Jew right here that my brother from Jawjuh acquired a job with a bob wire fence cump’ny?”
HAZE – a contraction.
Utilization – “Is Bubba good?” “Nah, haze ingnert. He ain’t thanked however a minnit’n ‘is laf.”

SEED – verb – Previous tense of “to see.”
VIEW – contraction, verb and pronoun.
Utilization – “I ain’t by no means seed New York Metropolis .. view?”

GUBMINT – noun – A bureaucratic establishment.
Utilization – “Them gubmint boys shore is ignert.”

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