Ripping the Headlines As we speak, 5/30/21

Making enjoyable of the headlines right now, so that you don’t should

The information, like that about Eric Clapton, doesn’t have to be sophisticated and complicated; that’s what any new launch from Microsoft is for. And, as within the case with something from Microsoft, to maintain the information from worrying our fairly little heads over, bear in mind one thing new and equally indecipherable will come out quickly:

Actually all you have to do is observe one easy rule: barely listen and soar to conclusions. So, listed here are some headlines right now and my first ideas:

Eric Clapton’s anti-vaccine diatribe blames “propaganda” for “disastrous” expertise

Clapton being upset a few drug aspect impact is like R. Kelly being pissed he placed on weight from shopping for Woman Scout cookies …

President Biden take a look at drives F-150 Lightning: “This sucker’s fast!”

Which is, BTW, what Stormy Daniels stated about Trump.

Arianna Grande immortalized in wax at Madame Tussaud’s

…. subsequent up, a namesake double latte at Starbucks.

California may have a $78 billion price range surplus, a large inflow of money that Gov. Newsom and legislators will determine learn how to spend

Apparently, Elon Musk didn’t test his sofa earlier than he went to Texas.

Metropolis of Albuquerque refers Trump Marketing campaign to a set company

So, he’s going to ship the invoice from New Mexico to outdated Mexico …?

Former US youngster star Ricky Schroder movies himself harassing Costco employees over masks guidelines

Ricky Schroder is the Scott Baio of Ted Nugents.

Invoice Gates admits affair with Microsoft worker, denies being pressured off Microsoft’s board over it

… effectively, there go these ‘Micro’ and ‘Mushy’ rumors.

Comfortable seventy fifth Birthday, Cher

As a reminder colleges, Submit Workplaces and banks will likely be closed in West Hollywood, the Castro and P-City.

Prince Andrew quietly eliminated as patron of just about 50 organizations

… and his lifetime ‘all you’ll be able to eat’ move to Chuck E Cheese …

BREAKING: The FBI is investigating a large scheme to illegally finance Susan Collins’ 2020 re-election marketing campaign

I’m positive Susan Collins realized her lesson and can by no means do it once more!

Phil Mickelson turns into oldest main winner as he wins enthralling PGA Championship

And, as a bonus, Ted Cruz have to be actually pissed off {that a} man nicknamed Lefty received the PGA Championship.

Jeff Bezos is constructing a $500 million BOAT

It’ll be his in 3 days, 1 if he used Amazon Prime.

Obama allegedly referred to as Trump a “corrupt motherf**ker” and a “racist, sexist pig,” in response to journalist’s new guide

In equity, Obama was in all probability simply quoting Melania.

Disney World to permit vaccinated individuals to take off their masks following new CDC steering, its CEO stated

… Besides when using on Peter Pandemic …


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