Funniest, dumbest and stupidest celebrity quotes

funniest dumbest and stupidest celebrity quotes

«Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding.»
– Mickey Rivers, baseball player
«I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.»
– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
«Put the ‘off’ button on.»
– George W. Bush, Associated Press, 14th February 2000
«So Carol, you’re a housewife and mother. And have you got any children?»
– Michael Barrymore
«Food is an important part of a balanced diet.»
– Fran Lebowitz, US writer
«We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?»
– Lee Iacocca, Chairman of the Chrysler corporation
«For NASA, space is still a high priority.»
– Dan Quayle
«He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.»
– Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer
«If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.»
– George Gobel
«If only faces could talk…»
– Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl
«Every minute was more exciting than the next.»
– Linda Evans, actress
«I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me.»
— Jessica Simpson
«Facts are stupid things.»
– Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President
«What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.»
– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
«That’s just the tip of the ice cube.»
– Neil Hamilton, BBC2
«A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man.»
– Samuel Goldwyn
«I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid.»
– Terry Bradshaw, Former football player/announcer
«It isn’t pollution that is hurting the environment, it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.»
– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
«I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.»
– Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
«The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can’t change. After I die, I’ll probably come back as a paintbrush.»
– Sylvestor Stallone, Actor
«Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.»
– Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
«We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.»
– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
«Will the highways on the internet become more few?»
– George W Bush, Concord, New Hampshire, (29th January 2000)
«My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.»
– Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice.
«The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.»
– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
«And now the sequence of events in no particular order.»
– Dan Rather, television news anchor
«Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.»
– George W Bush, Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000
«The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.»
– Dizzy Dean, explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.
«I was in a no-win situation, so I’m glad that I won rather than lost.»
– Frank Bruno, Boxer
«I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don’t always agree with them.»
– George Bush
«I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.»
– George Rogers, NFL New Orleans Saint RB, when asked about the upcoming season
«I do not like this word “bomb.” It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding.»
– Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons
«The word ‘genius’ isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.»
– Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst
«Half this game is ninety percent mental.»
– Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager
«Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.»
– Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel
«I’m convinced the Beatles are partly responsible for the fall of Communism.»
– Milos Forman, Film director
«When I’m a blonde, I can say the world is purple, and they’ll believe me because they weren’t listening to me.»
– Kylie Bax, Model/Actress, in Stuff magazine.
«The internet is a great way to get on the net.»
– Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
«You guys, line up alphabetically by height.»
– Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
«I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.»
– Britney Spears, on Blender Magazine (April 2004)
«I think war is a dangerous place.»
– George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. (May 7, 2003)
«I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.»
– Greg Norman, Golfer
«It’s nice, it gives you a feeling of security so that if something breaks we know we can always call a guy over and he’ll bring a drill or something.»
– Brooke Shields, Actress, on why it was is good to live in a co-ed dormitory when she was in college
«Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.»
– Gyrator, Chicago Rotary Club journal
«These people haven’t seen the last of my face. If I go down, I’m going down standing up.»
– Chuck Person, NBA Basketball player