01. While you name us to have your laptop moved, make sure to go away it buried below half a ton of postcards, child photos, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and youngsters’s artwork. We do not have a life, and we discover it deeply transferring to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
02. Do not write something down. Ever. We are able to play again the error messages from right here.
03. When an I.T. individual says he is coming proper over, go for coffee. That means you will not be there once we want your password. It is nothing for us to recollect 700 display screen saver passwords.
04. While you name the assistance desk, state what you need, not what’s conserving you from getting it. We need not know which you could’t get into your mail as a result of your laptop will not energy on in any respect.
05. Once I.T. assist sends you an E-Mail with excessive significance, delete it without delay. We’re simply testing.
06. When an I.T. individual is consuming lunch at his desk, stroll proper in and spill your guts proper out. We exist solely to serve.
07. Ship pressing e-mail all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush supply.
08. When the photocopier would not work, name laptop assist. There’s electronics in it.
09. When one thing’s unsuitable with your private home PC, dump it on an I.T. individual’s chair with no title, no telephone quantity and no description of the issue. We love a puzzle.
10. When an I.T. individual tells you that computer screens haven’t got cartridges in them, argue. We love argument.
11. When an I.T. individual tells you that he’ll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: “And simply what number of weeks do you imply by shortly?” That motivates us.
12. When the printer will not print, re-send the job at the least 20 occasions. Print jobs ceaselessly get sucked into black holes.
13. When the printer nonetheless will not print after 20 tries, ship the job to all 68 printers within the firm. One among them is certain to work.
14. Do not study the right time period for something technical. We all know precisely what you imply by “My thingy blew up”.
15. Do not use on-line help. On-line assistance is for wimps.