Brief Jokes and Dumb Quotes

Brief jokes and quotes which are so dumb, they’re truly humorous

Simply modified my Facebook name to ‘Nobody’ so once I see silly posts I can click on like and it’ll say ‘Nobody likes this’.

I’m a no one, no one is ideal, due to this fact I’m excellent.

What is the distinction between snowmen and snowladies? Snowballs

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

What do you name a bear with no enamel? — A gummy bear!

I as soon as farted in an elevator, it was improper on so many ranges.

Why did the blonde get excited after ending her puzzle in 6 months? — The field stated 2-4 years!

If con is the other of professional, it should imply Congress is the opposite of progress?

I puzzled why the frisbee was getting greater, after which it hit me.

My mother by no means noticed the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

I used to love my neighbors, till they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

What is the distinction between a wise man and a silly man? Nothing. They each assume they know the whole lot.

Why did the blonde tip-toe previous the medication cupboard? — She did not need to get up the sleeping drugs!

If 4 out of 5 folks SUFFER from diarrhea; does that imply that one enjoys it?

By no means argue with a idiot, they may decrease you to their degree, after which beat you with experience.

Physician: You are chubby. Affected person: I feel I desire a second opinion. Physician: You are additionally ugly.

If follow makes excellent, and no one’s excellent, why follow?

Why do farts smell? So deaf folks can take pleasure in them too.

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? — Rattling

How did the blonde die whereas raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.

What do you name a sheep with no legs? A cloud.

Why did the duck go to rehab? As a result of he was a quack addict!

What is the distinction between a porcupine and a Porsche? — The porcupine has the pricks on the skin.

What do you name a fats psychic? A 4 chin teller.

Stalking is when two folks go for a protracted romantic stroll collectively however solely considered one of them is aware of about it.

Gentle travels sooner than sound. This is the reason some folks seem brilliant till they communicate.

For anybody who assume a lady’s place is within the kitchen, do not forget that’s the place the knives are saved.

The early hen may get the worm, however the second mouse will get the cheese.

How do you seduce a fat woman? Piece of cake.

I requested God for a motorcycle, however I do know God does not work that manner. So I stole a motorcycle and requested for forgiveness.

Politicians and diapers have one factor in widespread. They need to each be modified usually, and for a similar purpose.

If at first you do not succeed, destroy all proof that you simply tried.

Why is Christmas identical to a day on the workplace? You do all of the work and the fats man with the go well with will get all of the credit score.

What did the ocean say to the seaside? Nothing, it simply waved.

I say no to alcohol, it simply does not pay attention.

What occurs if you get scared half to loss of life twice?

How are you going to inform when a lawyer is mendacity? — His lips are shifting.

Why cannot an fool dial 911? — He cannot discover the 11 on the telephone!

What do you name a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever.

Why did the skeleton go to the get together alone? — He had no physique to go along with him!

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