30 Rock quotes

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30 Rock

‘By no means comply with a hippie to a second location’

–Jack

 

‘I like when a lady has ambition. It is like seeing a canine carrying garments’

–Jack

 

‘I’ve to speak to Rachel Maddow. Solely considered one of us can have this haircut’

–Jack

 

‘Lemon, you look horrible, and I as soon as watched you eat oysters whilst you had a chilly’

–Jack

 

‘Factories present three issues this nation desperately wants: jobs, delight, and materials for Bruce Springsteen songs’

–Jack

 

‘I do not sleep on planes. I do not wish to get incepted.’

-Jack

 

‘TGS with Tracy Jordan with out Tracy Jordan is an oxymoron, like "liberal authorities" or "feminine scientist."’

–Jack

 

‘You understand how the media are. They look ahead to a mistake and that is all you might be. It occurred to Hitler. Nobody ever talks about his work.’

– Jack

 

‘I solely move fuel every year, for an hour, atop a mountain in Switzerland.’

– Jack

 

‘Ambition is the willingness to kill the belongings you love and eat them as a way to keep alive. Have not you ever learn my throw pillow?’

– Jack

 

‘Making it by a full twenty-four hours with out making a single misstep known as Reaganing. The one different individuals who’ve ever completed it? Lee Iacocca, Jack Welch, and—no judgment—Saddam Hussein.’

–Jack

 

‘What’s flawed, Lemon? After I see you chew your nails like that, it is both you are very anxious, otherwise you dealt with some ham earlier.’

–Jack

 

‘Fifty is the brand new forty for males. Fifty continues to be sixty for girls.’

–Jack

 

‘What retains individuals united on airplanes? The shared hatred of the CBS sitcoms they’re compelled to look at.’

–Jack

 

‘I did not get a toilet door that appears like a wall by not being good at enterprise.’

–Jack

 

‘You desire a confession? Let’s get this completed so I can go eat. I am divorced. I take the Lord’s identify in useless usually and with nice relish. I hit my mom with a automotive, presumably accidentally.’

–Jack

 

‘I get my hair lower each two days—in spite of everything, your hair is your head go well with.’

–Jack

 

Liz: Why are you carrying a tux?

Jack: It is after six. What am I, a farmer?

–Liz and Jack

 

‘I wish to go to there.’

-Liz

 

‘Did you actually suppose I would not acknowledge my faculty futon, with its trademark absence of intercourse stains?’

–Liz

 

‘You wanna celebration? It is $500 for kissing and $10,000 for snuggling; finish of checklist.’

–Liz

 

‘I’m telling everybody right here that there isn’t any manner I may be pregnant, as a result of I’ve had my interval for the final 61 days.’

–Liz

 

‘It would not matter how lengthy you’ve got lived in New York. It is nonetheless enjoyable to lookup and faux all of the buildings are large severed robotic penises.’

–Liz

 

‘That phrase bums me out until it is between meat and pizza.’

-Liz referring to the phrase "lovers"

‘Who hasn’t made errors? I as soon as french-kissed a canine at a celebration to attempt to impress what turned out to be a really tall 12-year-old.’

–Liz

 

‘Hey, nerds! Who’s acquired two thumbs, speaks restricted French, and hasn’t cried as soon as right this moment? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi.’

-Liz

 

‘One time I laughed at a blind man consuming spaghetti! Generally I pee within the bathe if I’m actually drained! I noticed my grandparents making love as soon as and I didn’t go away immediately!’

-Liz

 

Kenneth: And your landlord referred to as and he says it is not the bathroom, it is you.

Liz: That is his opinion.

-Liz and Kenneth

 

Liz: You’ve two decisions right here. You possibly can keep in your room like a toddler, or you may get on the market and do your job. [Tracy stands up]

Liz: Thanks.

Tracy: Oh, I am sorry, that was deceptive. I am not going to rehearse. I will get a sandwich after which eat it on the bathroom.

–Liz and Tracy

 

Tracy: I’ve no cause to hug her apart from my love of getting boobs pressed in opposition to me.

Liz:If I hugged you, I might angle it so you bought no boob.

Tracy: And I might anticipate your angling and I might get there.

–Tracy and Liz

 

Tracy: I promise. I swear on my mom’s grape.

Liz: Okay…did you say ‘grave’ or ‘grape’?

Tracy: Sure, goodbye!

–Tracy and Liz

 

‘My pricey pal Moby simply opened a tea home in Park Slope. Are you aware him?’

-Tracy

 

‘Inform her you need her to donate her physique to science and also you’re science. Inform her, Jack!’ – Tracy

‘Court docket? At evening? I’m already laughing. Inform me extra.’

-Tracy

 

‘A e book hasn’t triggered me this a lot bother since The place’s Waldo went to that barber pole manufacturing facility’

–Tracy

 

Let’s do it once more from the highest. I wish to get it excellent, as a result of "perfection" is my center identify: Unclaimed Perfection Child Boy.

–Tracy

 

You keep in mind Donald, my son who’s two years older than me.

–Tracy

 

‘I really like this cornbread a lot I wish to take it behind the center faculty and get it pregnant.’

– Tracy

 

‘What everybody must do is relax, take a deep breath, and put together their our bodies for the Thunderdome. That’s the new legislation.’

–Tracy

 

‘They try this loads in motion pictures: An Affair to Keep in mind, Sleepless in Seattle, and that remake of An Affair to Keep in mind that I used to be in, A Blaffair to Rememblack.’

–Tracy

 

‘I watched Boston Authorized 9 instances earlier than I noticed it wasn’t a brand new Star Trek.’

-Tracy

 

‘You’re going to sue me? Who do you suppose you might be, the San Diego zoo?’

-Tracy

 

‘We’re right here as a result of white people suppose they’ll do no matter they wish to do to black people. It is like when Adrian Brody kissed Halle Barry on the Oscars. White individuals stole jazz, rock and roll, Will Smith, and coronary heart illness.’

–Tracy

 

‘Taking pictures individuals on the Supply Awards is a convention. It is like Christmas. Or capturing individuals exterior of Scorching 97.’

–Tracy

 

‘Here is some recommendation I want I woulda acquired once I was your age: Stay each week prefer it’s Shark Week.’

–Tracy

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