yo mama so fat that the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses!
yo mama so fat that a wingardium leviosa spell couldn’t lift her.
yo mama so fat, she makes Hagrid look like “Mini-me”.
yo mama so fat, she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge.
yo mama so ugly, even a dementor wouldn’t kiss her!
yo mama so fat the Sorting Hat assigned her to the House of Pancakes.
yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore.
yo mama so stupid, she thinks Sirius Black is a hip hop station on satellite radio.
yo mama so ugly that the whomping willow saw her and died.
yo mama so stupid she thinks Patronus is a kind of Tequlia.
yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a Double-Whopper with Cheese.
yo mama so nasty, the Forbidden Forrest was named after her.
Yo mama’s the reason that Dumbledore turned gay.
yo mama so old, her boobs look like two upside down Sorting Hats!
yo mama so fat, she used the invisibility cloak as a bib.
yo mama so ugly, everybody calls her “She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked”
yo mama so fat that even the Dementors can’t suck her soul out in one sitting.
yo mama so pasty, she makes Ron Weasely look like George Hamilton.
yo mama so fat, she looked in the mirror of Erised and saw a ham!
yo mama so old she gave Nicholas Flamel his first kiss.
yo mama so ugly that the Dementor’s Kiss was swapped out for a hearty handshake and a promise to give her a call sometime.
yo mama so stupid, she drowned in a pensieve
yo mama so dumb she thought that she could talk to snakes if she put parsley on her tongue
yo mama so nasty, every pair of her panties has the Dark Mark on them.
yo mama so fat that if she confronted a boggart it would morph into a treadmill.
yo mama so ugly that even Voldemort won’t say her name.
yo mama so poor she can’t even afford a Gringotts account.
yo mama so fat that the sorting hat couldn’t decide where to put her – she couldn’t fit in any of the houses!!
Yo mama’s the only mute prostitue in Hogsmeade. They call her “dumb-le-whore”!
yo mama so fat, she ate the Death Eaters.
yo mama so masculine that Dumbledore would sleep with her!
yo mama so nasty that the order of the phoenix was “stay away from that woman!”
yo mama so poor that Dobby gave her a sock to keep her foot warm.
Yo mama’s such a tramp that she’s given more rides than the Hogwarts Express!
yo mama so fat even Grawp can’t pick her up!
yo mama so smelly, Bertie Bott made her his next jelly bean flavor.
yo mama so fat that it takes two boggarts to shape-shift into her!
yo mama so ugly that she lost a beauty contest to Mountain Troll.
yo mama so ugly that when the bassalisk snuck up on her and saw her face, HE dropped dead.
Yo mama’s breath is the secret ingredient in the Weasly’s Butterscotch Barf-ies.
yo mama so ugly that when she walked into Gringotts Wizarding Bank, they gave her a job application.
yo mama so ugly she turned the Basilisk to stone.
Yo mama’s such a tramp that she’s like a quidditch broomstick – everyone gets a ride.
yo mama so skanky that the reason you’re called a Half-Blood Prince is because she has no idea who your father is!
yo mama so dumb that a stupify spell actually made her smarter.
yo mama so stanky that not even dobby would accept one of her socks.
yo mama so fat that even her Quidditch robes have stretch marks.
yo mama so old she makes Dumbledore look like a teenager.
yo mama so fat they’d have to use transfiguration to sneak her through the hole in the Gryffindor Tower.
Ya mama’s so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim.
yo mama so fat the core of her wand has a creame filling.
yo mama so ugly that Voldemort took one look at her and killed HIMSELF!”
yo mama so poor she had to go to the Weasley’s for a loan.
yo mama so ugly, she thought that Hogwarts were the growth on her thigh.
yo mama so ugly that as a baby they had to use the Confundus Charm so the family would play with her.
Yo mama’s such a ho that she lets ANYONE enter her “chamber of secrets”.
yo mama so ugly she scares the Dementors away.
yo mama so ugly that when she asked Crabbe to take her to the Yule Ball, he decided to go with Goyle instead!