How Did Elvis Presley Really Die?

Elvis Presley was believed to have died from a massive heart attack in 1977 but now his doctor is singing a different tune.

At the time of his death it was reported that Elvis Presley had died from cardiac arrhythmia, an irregular heartbeat brought on by drug addiction, obesity and a bum ticker.

But now El’s pal and personal physician Dr. George “Nick” Nichopoulos, who tried to resuscitate him that fateful day, has finally revealed the true cause of death..

After he died we weren’t sure so I continued to do some research and I had some doctors call me from different places and different med schools that were doing research on constipation and different problems you can get into with it.

According to the physician, now retired, the autopsy revealed Elvis Presley’s colon was 5 to 6 inches in diameter (the normal width is usually 2 to 3 inches) and instead of being 4 to 5 feet in length, his colon was 8 to 9 feet in length.

Elvis Presley the King of Rock and Roll
Elvis Aaron Presley

We didn’t’ realize until the autopsy that his constipation was as bad – we knew it was bad because it was hard for us to treat, but we didn’t realize what it had done.

“We just assumed that the constipation was secondary to the meds that he was taking for his arthritic pain and for his insomnia.

In 1975, the primary treatment was a colostomy, the removal of the colon but according to the book, Elvis Presley’s “ego” got in the way.

He was embarrassed.

He’d have accidents onstage. He’d have to change clothes and come back because of the way we were trying to treat his constipation.

If they had done the colostomy then, he’d probably still be here.

Nichopoulos said.

Jokes So Bad They’re Actually Funny

I met a camel with no humps, so I named him Humphrey.

How do you kill a circus? You go for the juggler.

Didja hear about the new restaurant on the moon? It’s got great food, but no atmosphere.

Remember alcohol and calculus don’t mix so don’t drink and derive.

I’m addicted to placebos. I’d give them up but it wouldn’t make any difference.

The doctor comes out into the waiting room for the next patient. He’s shocked to see a man sitting there with a frog growing out of his head. The doctor’s cries, “Oh my god, how did that happen?”
The frog answered “I don’t know; it began as a pimple on my butt.”

Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

How are a texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody’s gonna lose a trailer.

What did the outlet say to the cord?
Socket to me, baby…

What do you call a running chicken?
Poultry in motion…

What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint?
Both crews were marooned…

bad-joke

Four business men in hospital

Once there were four business men. They were sitting on a bench in a hospital waiting room because their wives were having babies.

A nurse comes over and says to the first businessman, “Congratulations! Your wife had 1 baby.”

The man says, “What a coincidence! I’m the president of And1!”

The nurse goes away.

Then the nurse comes back and says to the second businessman, “Congratulations! Your wife had twins!”

The man says, “What a coincidence! I’m the owner of the Minnesota Twins!”

The nurse goes away.

The nurse comes back and says to the third businessman, “Congratulations! Your wife had triplets!”

The man says, “What a coincidence! I work for Triple Crown!”

The nurse goes away.

The nurse comes back and sees the fourth businessman alone on the bench crying.

She asks, “Why are you crying”?

The man replies, “I work for Seven Up.”
baby