Hilarious reasons for breaking up with someone

break up

  • She’d wait until she had the bartender’s attention and then start to decide what she wanted to drink.
  • She had a mole on her eyelid. Every time I kissed her I saw it when I was leaning in. I started having dreams that the mole was talking to me.
  • She pronounced ‘coleslaw’ as ‘cold-slaw’.
  • When she watched shows on the DVR she wouldn’t fast forward through the commercials.
  • Every time I yawned, she thought it hilarious if she stuck her finger in my open mouth.
  • She ate her peas one at a time. ONE AT A TIME!
  • She didn’t believe in the moon landing.
  • She held her fork overhanded, as in the shovel technique. You can’t take someone like that anywhere.
  • I looked at him, really looked at him from a distance, and realized that his head was just waaaaay to big for his body.
  • Her mouth made a trapezoid when she talked.
  • She refused to eat anything besides chicken nuggets and french fries. No substitutions.
  • She walked too slow. We’d go out somewhere and walk down the street and I’d turn around and she’s 20 feet behind me.
  • I couldn’t stand her name: Antoinette. I tried to get her to go by Tony, no such luck. She had to go.
  • He didn’t take off his underwear during sex. Ever.
  • She would constantly say the names of the stores we passed by while driving. “Jiffy Lube. Huh, a Spencers. Gym-boooo-ree.”(That’s how she would say it.)
  • She put the spoon into the sugar jar after stirring her coffee, leaving clumps of coffee sugar.
  • One day I realized she looked like Paul Dano and I couldn’t unsee it.
  • It was four days before my birthday and she said she was going to get me a gift. I knew I couldn’t break up with her for at least 30 days after accepting her gift. I wasn’t willing to make a 34-day commitment to the relationship.
  • Her apartment was an 8th floor walk up.
  • She walked like a T. Rex.
  • She wore the same deodorant as my mother.
  • She was the loudest eater I ever met. She constantly chewed with her mouth open and smacked her lips. God forbid if she really liked it, then there came a litany of “mmm” and “nom”s as well. It was like dating the cookie monster.
  • She put mustard on her fries by applying it to her hand first and then rubbing it over the fries. Then she licked the mustard off her hand.


Did You Know : Random Facts


  1. Women blink twice as often as men
  2. Flamingos get their distinctive color from the foods they eat
  3. 70% of red meat eaten worldwide is goat meat
  4. US tap water costs 250 – 10,000 times less than bottled water
  5. The iPad 2 would have been the world’s fastest computer in 1994
  6. Only 20% of Americans have passports
  7. The total weight of all ants in the world is about the same as the weight of all the world’s humans
  8. Only three countries have not officially adopted the metric system (United States of America, Liberia, and Myanmar)
  9. 8 of the 10 costliest disasters in US history have been caused by hurricanes
  10. The world consumes about 2 liters of oil per person per day
  11. Black cats are considered bad luck in the US but good luck in Japan
  12. Butterflies taste with their feet
  13. Lightning strikes Earth about 8 million times a day
  14. Whether you walk or run, you burn about 100 calories per mile (or 60 calories per km)
  15. Dolphins sleep with one eye open
  16. Humans are born with 300 bones but since many fuse together, adults only have 206 bones
  17. Turtles can breathe through their rear-ends
  18. A flea can jump about 130 times its height. That’s like a human jumping over the Gateway Arch in St. Louis
  19. Australia’s fluctuating kangaroo population sometimes outnumbers its human population more than 2-to-1
  20. About 11% of Earth’s land surface is used to grow crops
  21. The brain is only about 2% of a person’s body mass but requires about 20% of its oxygen and calories
  22. Bullfrogs do not sleep
  23. China produces more pigs than all other countries combined
  24. About 97% of the water on Earth is undrinkable
  25. Vanilla makes up almost 1/3 of the world’s ice cream sales
  26. The diameter of the moon is less than the distance from Los Angeles to New York
  27. People don’t sneeze when they’re asleep
  28. Only about 10% of the world’s population lives in the Southern Hemisphere
  29. Almost half of the people in Manhattan live alone
  30. A fully loaded supertanker traveling at normal speed takes at least twenty minutes to stop
  31. The Eiffel Towers gets about 6 inches (15cm) taller in the heat of summer
  32. A pineapple isn’t a single fruit – it’s a group of berries that have fused together
  33. There are more chickens than people in the world
  34. The hair on a polar bear isn’t white, it’s transparent


The gambler’s fallacy, also known as the Monte Carlo fallacy

monte carlo roulette
On August 18, 1913, at the casino in Monte Carlo, black came up a record twenty-six times in successionin roulette. There was a near-panicky rush to bet on red, beginning about the time black had come up a phenomenal fifteen times. In application of the maturity of the chances doctrine, players doubled and tripled their stakes, this doctrine leading them to believe after black came up the twentieth time that there was not a chance in a million of another repeat. In the end the unusual run enriched the Casino by some millions of francs.