In 1998, the WWF made a decision to see who had been the toughest wrestler, only like, for real. So they held a shootfighting tournament where gigantic wrestlers, whose martial arts training was mainly restricted to very specifically not hurting people, bashed one another with their full strength. It was this type of sloppy disaster it appeared as if dull gorilla pornography, except gorilla pornography doesn’t maim as much professional wrestlers.
It maims some, obviously, just never as many. If Tito Santana took the entire WWF roster discount zip-lining in Tocula, Mexico, you may not cause more wrestler injuries with less entertainment payoff. n the Brawl For All, the wrestlers wore boxing gloves and fought three one-minute rounds. They scored five points when they landed the absolute most punches in a round, but additionally they scored five points for a takedown and ten points for a knockdown. I am aware that’s more math than you had been expecting in a beef-slapping competition, but it’s crucial that you know. Because this unambiguous scoring system left the entranceway available for “clever” competitors to get a decisive lead on points and then avoid their opponent for a few minutes. This tactic, along with everyone’s lack of actual combat skills, resulted in angry crowds calling for better, more make-believe fighting.
For WWE fans, it was like going to the dildo store and finding only countless real, exposed, and moist penises. It was close to what they went there for, but grossly, almost offensively not right. It’s actually hard to explain how bad the Brawl For All was, and not because I used the description of two-headed chickens fighting in a grease fire already. These were men wildly pawing at one another to find out which among them was the very best at a thing they don’t do. It could have been just as appropriate when they sat across from each other and debated whether pizza was real in Cantonese.
But long after audiences decided they hated it, the Brawl for All continued. Both WWF stars who knew how to fight, UFC veterans Dan Severn and Ken Shamrock, were suspiciously removed from the tournament, and all of the other competitors were in a medical facility with torn hamstrings and caved-in faces. Almost automatically, but in addition by terrifying bear strength, Bart Gunn won the tournament. Yay. Surely after literally ending the careers of four WWF superstars and delegitimizing several more,