The Funniest Speeding Ticket Jokes

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, “Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don’t think it’s fair. There were plenty of other cars around me going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?”

“Ever go fishing?” the policeman suddenly asked the man.

“Ummm, yeah… so,” the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, “Ever catch ALL the fish?”

speeding ticket funny

A middle aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman pulled her over for speeding. As he was giving her the ticket, she said, “How come I always get a ticket and everyone else gets a warning? Is it my face?”

“No, ma’am,” explained the officer, “it’s your foot.”

simpsons speeding ticket

“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.

“Keep it,” the cop said, “when you collect four of them you get a bicycle.”