Doesn’t matter had sex? I don’t know how some people could go on after hearing this stuff… These people reveal the strangest thing someone has said to during sex.
“Fuck me daddy, don’t stop”
I had a slightly younger chick going down on me, I guess I made a funny face or sound or something, but she pulled up all concerned and asked “did I just kill you, old man?”
I got married last week.
“I like your penis. It’s very funny.”
Ok it’s a cross between “Oh that’s hella deep” or “you know I can’t wait to have kids” both made me stop
“Just cum inside me. I’ll get an abortion.”
“Finish quick I need to break up with you” and the reason she broke up with me, she had been cheating on me and preferred the other guy.
I was inside her when she stopped moving and asked me to do the same. Then, she just said “Come. Come now.” Like she was firmly instructing a puppy or something. Weird as it was, it was practically telepathy: I exploded.
“Fucking with you is like fucking with the fucking Jesus Christ”
I think i just shit. (Totally did but not much)
“Do you want to take a picture of this?”
As she’s walking out of the bathroom about 20 seconds post-nut all over her face. I don’t give facials very often so it was a pretty big load.. she’s a bit of an exhibitionist and I guess wanted to document the occasion.
“You can stick it in my ass if you want. I dont like it, but my ex did”
Reverse cowgirl, going at it pretty hard. She suddenly stops, and silently gets off me and lays down next to, but not touching me.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“I don’t think I love you.”
While eating me out, my boyfriend said “if you fart, I’ll puke all over your vagina”.
We’re married now.
“I farted and you’re going to notice.”
“Don’t worry, I’m already pregnant.”
“My dad has a camera up there but I don’t THINK he has it on right now.”
“You know you aren’t the biggest I’ve been with, right?”
“I don’t know if I’m going to pee, or cum, but something is going to happen!”
“Where’d you get your curtains?”
“You’re so much better than my boyfriend.”
“I gotta fart, pull out real quick!”
“oh dear grandma”