State of Arkansas Residency Application

Arkansas Residency Application

Name: ________________ 
(_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
(Check appropriate box)
Age: ____
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
Shoe Size ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
(_) Farmer
(_) Mechanic
(_) Hair Dresser
(_) Un-employed
Spouse's Name: __________________________
Relationship with spouse:
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet
Number of children living in household: ___
Number that are yours: ___
Mother's Name: _______
Father's Name: _______(If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade
completed)
Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home?
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed
Model and year of your pickup: ______ 194_
Do you have a gun rack?
(_) Yes (_) No; please explain:
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_) The National Enquirer
(_) The Globe
(_) TV Guide
(_) Soap Opera Digest
(_) Rifle and Shotgun
___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO
How often do you bathe:
(_)Weekly
(_)Monthly
(_)Not Applicable
Color of teeth:
(_)Yellow
(_)Brownish-Yellow
(_)Brown
(_)Black
(_)N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man
How far is your home from a paved road?
(_)1 mile
(_)2 miles
(_)don't know

Please God try to explain women

Do Not Try To Understand Women
Do Not Try To Understand Women

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions. Please God try to explain women?

“Sure,” GOD says, “Go right ahead”.

“OK,” the man says. “Why did you make women so pretty?”

GOD says, “So you would like them.”

“OK,” the guy says. “But how come you made them so beautiful?”

“So you would LOVE them”, GOD replies.

The man ponders a moment and then asks, “But why did you make them such airheads?”

GOD says, “So they would love you!”

Short Jokes That’ll Get You A Laugh On Demand

Collection of short Jokes
Short Funny Jokes
– All is a shitting, except the pissing, but the pissing becomes a shitting if you piss against the wind.


– Why didn’t the sailors play cards?
– Because the captain was sitting on the deck.


– Why dwarfs laugh while they play the soccer?
– Because the grass tickles their balls!


– What is the difference between the tires Good Year and 365 used condoms?
– 365 used condoms are VERY good year.


– What Bill Gates‘ wife says him when they make love?
– Bill, you are so MICRO, you are so SOFT.


A group of spermatozoa march. Unexpectedly, the spermatozoon guides stops:
– Stop! Treason! The ass!!!


– Who has invented the love?
– The poor, so they can fuck for free.


Two prostitutes, after Christmas holidays:
– What did you ask Santa Claus to give you?
– Hundred dollars, as usual.


Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: She is expecting triplets.
Very bad: You were sterilized five years ago.


Good: Your wife doesn’t talk to you.
Bad: She wants divorce.
Very bad: She is a lawyer.


Good: Your son is growing up.
Bad: He has a relationship with a whore from the neighborhood.
Very bad: Just like you.


Good: You are explaining to your daughter about birds and bees.
Bad: She interrupts you.
Very bad: And corrects you.


Good: Your son has a serious relationship.
Bad: The relationship is with a man.
Very bad: With your best friend.


Good: Your daughter has a good job.
Bad: She is a whore.
Very bad: She earns much more than you.