How Much Badass Vladimir Putin Really is?

Ladies and Gentlemen, the comedy stylings of Vladimir Putin

Vladimir Putin King of Russia

 The Pessimist, the Optimist, and the Bedbug

“I told this oldie-but-goodie before, and can’t help but tell it again. Well, there once was a pessimist and an optimist. The pessimist was drinking cognac, and said, ‘This smells like bedbugs!’ The optimist grabbed a bedbug from the wall, sniffed it and said, ‘Well, doesn’t this smell a bit like cognac!’

“My point is, I’d rather be a pessimist who drinks cognac, than an optimist who sniffs bedbugs. Even if the optimist lives a little more happily…”

On gas and Germany.

“I don’t get why Germans don’t like nuclear energy. I don’t want to comment on it, but… I don’t understand how you’re going to keep warm. You don’t want gas, and you don’t want to develop nuclear energy, so what are you going to do, burn firewood? Of course, though, you’d have to get the wood from Siberia…”

On Ukraine.

During a speech by Christoph Leitl, president of the Austrian Federal Economic Chamber, on Ukraine (in German):

Leitl: “And, Mr. President, in 1914, Ukraine was part of Austria…”

Vladimir Putin: “What is that supposed to mean… What are you proposing here?”

Leitl: “It’s supposed to mean, that Ukraine today, a hundred years later…”

Vladimir Putin: “I’m already afraid to listen anymore! What are you going to say next?”

On Europe’s relationship with the U.S.

Angela Merkel is rather unimpressed with Putin’s jokes:

“There are all sorts of jokes on this matter…as in, no matter how you act on your wedding night, the result should always be the same. Get it?”

The Economy in Black and White

When asked whether he thought the economic crisis was over in Russia, Vladimir Putin responded with a joke:

“I’ll tell you an old anecdote of ours: two friends meet up, and one asks the other:

— How are things?

— Well, things right now are like stripes, you see, black and white.

— Well, how are things right now?

— Black.

“Half a year passes before they meet again.

— Well, how are you – wait, I remember, like stripes, how are things right now?

— Right now, they’re black.

— But back then it was also black!

— Nope, it turns out it was white back then.”
Vladimir Putin and horse
The Spy Who Just Wanted to Surrender

The Spy Who Just Wanted to Surrender.

Vladimir Putin tells an old anekdot from Soviet times about bureaucratic unpredictability and the whims of Russian officialdom:

A spy goes to Lubyanka (headquarters of the Soviet secret police in Moscow) and says:

— I’m a spy, I want to turn myself in.

— Who do you work for?

— America.

— OK, go to room 5.

He goes to room 5 and says:

— I’m an American spy. I want to turn myself in.

— Are you armed?

— Yes, I’m armed.

— Go to room 7, please.

He goes to room 7 and says:

— I am an American spy, I’m armed, I want to turn myself in.

— Go to room 10.

He goes to room 10 and says:

— I’m a spy, I want to turn myself in!

— Do you have any communication with the Americans?

— Yes.

— Go to room 20.

He goes to room 20 and says:

— I’m a spy, I’m armed, I’m in communication with America and I want to turn myself in.

— Have you been sent on a mission?

— Yes.

— Well, get out and go do it! Stop bothering people while they’re working!

John Kerry and His Suitcase

During a meeting at the Kremlin with U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry, Vladimir Putin casts suspicion on the contents of Kerry’s briefcase.

Vladimir Putin: “We are always glad to have you visit here because it is always very businesslike and gives us a chance to make headway on very important and serious matters. But today, when I saw you getting off the plane carrying your own luggage, I was a little upset. On the one hand, it’s a rather democratic way of doing things. But on the other hand, I thought the situation in the U.S. must probably be pretty bad if there is no one to help the Secretary of State with his luggage. I hear your economy is doing OK, and there is no slow down. And then I thought, probably there was something in that briefcase of yours that meant you couldn’t hand it over to anyone? Money maybe…to haggle with us on key matters?

“Seriously though, we are happy to see you – jokes aside, we have now found some common ground in order to move forward in matters regarding our bilateral agreements and the international agenda. Welcome.”

Kerry: “Thank you, Mr. President. When we have a private moment, maybe I will show you what’s in my suitcase – you’ll be presently surprised.”

Kate Upton : Easily Hottest Girl on the Planet

Kate Upton is truly a beautiful woman. No other human could be born with a better body

Kate Upton lingerie
Kate Upton is an accomplished equestrian, with a total of five different championships.

Kate Upton favorite color is yellow.

Kate’s great-grandfather is a co founder of the Whirlpool Corporation. Michigan brothers Frederick Stanley Upton and Louis Upton first founded the Upton Machine Company in 1911 with their uncle Emory. In 1950, the company was renamed to Whirlpool Corporation and today is a billion dollar company.

According to high school classmates, Kate Upton wasn’t the most outgoing nor prettiest person in school. She allegedly never had a boyfriend through her four years of school.

She is an avid lover of horses. Upton showed horses for the American Paint Horse Association and competed nationally at a young age with her horse, “Roanie Pony.”

In 2008, Kate attending a casting call for models and was signed to Elite Model Management the same day.

Kate Upton favorite color is yellow.

Kate Upton has two tattoos: a horseshoe on her wrist and a cross on the inside of her finger.

Shortly after being signed, Upton moved to New York City to further pursue a modeling career, as well as acting, and eventually signed with the company IMG Models.

Kate Upton has modeled for Dooney & Bourke and was the face of Guess for 2010-2011.

Upton also modeled for Victoria’s Secret but she was not a hit at first. Casting director for Victoria’s Secret fashion shows Sophia Neophitou-Apostolou infamously once said: “We would never use Ms. Upton for a Victoria’s Secret show, she’s too obvious. She’s like a Page three girl, or a footballer’s wife, with the too-blond hair and that kind of face that anyone with enough money can go out and buy.”

In 2010, she had a small part in Ben Stiller’s “Tower Heist”.

Upton’s 2013 Sports Illustrated cover was the first fashion shoot in Antarctica.

She then starred as the sexy Sister Bernice in 2012’s “The Three Stooges”.
Kate Upton The Three Stooges

In early 2011, a video of her doing the “Dougie” dance move at a Los Angeles clippers game went viral.

Her favorite basketball team is the New York Yankees.

In 2011’s Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, Kate Upton was named Rookie of the Year.

She said, “After my first Sports Illustrated cover, I felt terrible about myself for a solid month. Every single guy I met was either married or about to be married, and I felt like I was their bachelor present or something.”

In July 2012, she posed for the cover of GQ magazine. In the GQ photo, Upton is sporting a skimpy, red, white and blue bikini, and seductively eating a popsicle.

Her favorite food is sushi.

The model made headlines when she a video by photographer Terry Richardson of her doing the “Cat Daddy” dance was released online. The video went viral and was soon blocked on YouTube for being too raunchy, but it was soon uploaded again and has remained there.

Days later, Kate Upton appeared as a guest on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, where she showed guests some of her dance moves from the popular video.
Kate Upton Rainbow Bikini

In an interview in 2015, Kate Upton confessed that was initially “horrified” when the “Cat Daddy” video was released online. However, the video did catapult her to fame.

Kate Upton was featured in a 2012 Carl’s Jr Superbowl commercial which was banned for being too sexy.

The following year, she was featured in an ad for clothing company Zoo York. The ad was then banned by MTV and Adult Swim. In the ad, Kate Upton can be seen jogging through Manhattan as a pair of foul-mouthed cockroaches profanely ogle the supermodel. Watch the uncensored Zoo York commercial below:

In 2013, she was featured on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition which was shot in Antarctica shoot. She said it was so cold there and she had to obviously be wearing a skimpy swimsuit, which made the whole experience even more difficult. “When I came back from the shoot I was losing hearing and eyesight because my body was shutting down, it was working so hard to keep warm,” Upton said on the “Today” show.

In March 2013, a Los Angeles teenager named Jake Davidson made a YouTube video asking Kate to be his prom date that went viral. As Kate could ultimately not attend the event, fellow Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model Nina Agdal went with Davidson instead.

In September 2013, she won the prestigious Model of the Year title at the 10th Style Awards at New York Fashion Week.

She does not only wear sexy bikini’s on the covers of famous magazines, but she has also designed four barely there bikinis for the brand Beach Bunny.

She is 5 ft 10 in or 178 cm tall.

Kate Upton weighs 64 kg or 141 pounds.

Her favorite perfume is Coco by Chanel.

She is the first model, since Tyra Banks (who appeared in 1996 and 1997) to appear on cover of SI swimsuit issue back to back (in 2012 and 2013).

Kate Upton wishes that she could have smaller boobs. But, then she laughs and says that she was just kidding, in an interview with GQ magazine.

Kate Upton has a mole mark just above her lip.

Thanks to her bubbly personality, hourglass physique and peroxide blonde hair, Kate is often compared to icons such as Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield.

To date, Kate Upton has been featured in various brands including Sam Edelman, Accessorize, Guess, Beach Bunny Swimwear, Dylan George, and Dooney & Burke. She has also starred in commercials for Mercedes-Benz, Carl’s Junior and Sobe.

Though she is currently dating Detroit Tigers baseball player Justin Verlander, Kate told Elle Magazine that she is in no hurry to settle down: “I’m just having fun. Obviously I have a very busy schedule at this time in my life, and I don’t put relationships as a priority.”

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Christina Hendricks the Sexiest Woman Alive

Christina Hendricks is best known for her role as Joan Harris in the AMC television series Mad Men. Esquire magazine named Hendricks “the sexiest woman in the world”. In 2010, she was voted Best Looking American Woman by Esquire magazine.

Christina Hendricks most beautiful actress to have appeared in a television series
Christina Hendricks is best known for playing Joan Harris on the AMC series Mad Men, she has also appeared in such films as Drive, Detachment and Life as We Know It.

She worked as a model and guest starred on various television series.

She married Geoffrey Arend in October 2009.

She starred alongside Jon Hamm on the hit AMC drama Mad Men.

Christina Hendricks most attractive red-head in the world
Things You Didn’t Know About Christina Hendricks

Christina Hendricks has established herself as the renowned actress all around the globe. Her sexy body also allures lot of people. She actually began acting since 1999. When she was child, she also used to act and she has also taken so many acting classes in her childhood days to fulfill her dreams in acting. During her late teens she also established herself as a model. She first portrayed the role of Rhiaonnan in the television series Undressed in 1999, since then she has appeared in several television series. She has also appeared in the big movies like Detachment whose box office earning was net worth of $1,481,646. She is also earning a massive salary being an actress.

Christina Hendricks appeared in a number of commercials while struggling as an actress in the mid-to-late 1990s, and easily the most memorable of the bunch is her turn in a 1997 Visa commercial, which acted as a tie-in for the James Bond movie Tomorrow Never Dies (starring Pierce Brosnan).

Christina Hendricks is without question one of the world’s most iconic and recognisable redheads, so quite a surprise it is that it’s not actually her natural hair colour. Indeed, she’s a natural blonde but has been dying her hair red since the age of 10.Mad Men star Christina Hendricks

Christina Hendricks Top Quotes

Sexiness is about being an individual and having conviction about what that is.

I met a lot of young girls modelling and they were like, ‘Oh, I’m running around town and people are taking my picture’, while I was saving receipts and learning how to be self-employed.

I have a problem keeping my mouth shut. I usually speak my mind. I’m trying to learn my lesson.

I’m an ambassador for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and one of the children, his wish was to go to the Emmys, so he’s going to be my date, along with my husband, and my dad and his girlfriend. So we’re going to have a really fun night and it’s going to be really exciting. I’m really excited for him to experience that.

I dyed my hair about 42 different colours, and kids can be pretty judgmental about people who are different. But instead of breaking down and conforming, I stood firm. That is also probably why I was unhappy.

I like to look for gifts throughout the year. If I find the perfect item for someone, I put it in my “gift closet” and keep it for the next holiday. But I often get too excited and just give it to them before!

A woman is beautiful when she stands out as an individual—it’s a woman who has her own style and the confidence to pull it off. Half the women on the streets in New York City achieve this. I get so inspired every time I’m there.

If my legs are showing, the makeup artist adds a tiny amount of foundation to body lotion and rubs it in.

Yeah when you’re in the middle of filming this movie [Bad Santa 2] it doesn’t matter what you say you can think of some sort of way to twist it into something dirty so we were laughing a lot.

I adore the incredibly tight clothing! My own wardobe’s changed – I’ve streamlined a little bit and definitely learnt from Joan’s sleekiness and tailoring.

I love my body as it is. People in the industry have been telling me to lose weight for years but I like the way I look. I give credit to my mom for helping me feel good about my appearance – for making sure I never felt embarrassed about my body, because she was never worried about looking too big.

Cats appear to have a wonderful ability to weed out everything they don’t need to know, while honing in on what is important to them.
Actress Christina Hendricks' Sexiest Looks

According to the Internet, someone took the measurements of a dress Christina Hendricks wore in “Mad Men” and came up with 39-30-39 Christina Hendricks’s measurements.

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Fun Facts About Christina Hendricks VIDEO

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