Most Hilarious Flat Earth Arguments

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  • That the UN logo (which is an “azimuthal, equidistant projection” centered on the North Pole) is an actual map of the Earth. Proof: thousands of ships patrol the southern seas to keep people away from the edge (and to keep people from discovering “the truth”). The distance to circumnavigate Antarctica could easily be checked by a Flat Earth expedition though. The UN map would indicate a distance many, many times longer than the actual distance.
  • That there is no South Pole — proof: compasses point only toward the North Pole.
  • That the oceans are held in by the “ice wall” of the Antarctic. Proof: if you go far enough south, you hit ice. Same is true though if you go far enough north.
  • That there is no such thing as gravity (as a rock falls on their heads, making them Flatheads). Either there is some sort of universal acceleration (into what? governed by what?) or some sort of “electrostatic force.”
  • The sun is only 3,000 miles away. What keeps it up? Who knows. Same with the moon.
  • The sky is a glass dome. Proof: when rockets take off they go straight up and then they curve to avoid hitting the dome.
  • NASA was founded by Nazis. Hmm. One of the things Nazis explored was the hollow Earth “theory.” Guess that one didn’t pan out and they went flat. In fact, some former German scientists who worked for/with the Nazis did get recruited into the American space program. Wernher von Braun is one of the more famous ones. That did not mean NASA was founded by Nazis though.
  • Crazy airplane theories, failure to understand gravity, great circles, etc. One of my favorites is that if the world were curved, pilots would have to continually adjust the pitch of the plane to put the nose down to avoid hurtling off into space.
  • Another great one is wondering why a helicopter can hover and not be hurtled off westward by the spinning Earth or why you can jump up and come down in the same place pretty much and not be swept off to the west, or why Australians don’t fall off the “bottom” of the Earth. Absolute failure to understand gravity and the size of the Earth compared to the size of humans.

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There is a Facebook page called “Oh My God Facts”. This page uploaded a video which compared size of planets and moons of our solar system. You can find that video on YouTube too.

Here is the link:-Solar System Size Comparison

So this is how the conversation go. Assume ‘A’ to be Flat Earth believer.

A: It is a lie. There is no other planet out there. How come we cannot see any other planet? If Earth is actually rotating how come we only see sun, star and moon almost everyday?

B: I can see other planets everyday through a device called Telescope.

A: You can only see moon and stars with your telescope.

B: I can see the moon perfectly without a telescope and I can see the sun which is a star without one too.

A: If the planet is actually very massive as shown in the video then why do you need telescope? Why do you need telescope to watch other planets when it is claimed to be bigger than the earth.

B: Yeah! You can’t see China from America. But wow! Its supposed to be so big compared to America. Because I can’t see China with my naked eye from America it can’t exist or it must be really small like you say.

C: I have seen Mars in the sky without a telescope plenty of time. You do realize how far away the planets are, right? Are you a flat earth believer as well?

A: These people lie about everything. Their claimed Moon rocks were found to be from Devon Island in Canada. Next time capture a photo and please send it to me.

Deyana Mounira in Dog Sexual Assault Suit

This is the most ridiculous story ever! I hope he goes to jail for being ridiculous

Instagram model Deyana Mounira showed up for a photo shoot at the home of a guy named Tony Toutouni … who says he’s “Instagram famous.” he have 1.5 million followers. During the photo shoot … Tony says Deyana started playing around with his dog, Hef.

According to the lawsuit, Tony’s filed against Deyana … Hef stands about 5′ when on his hind legs, while Deyana goes about 5’6″. As Tony puts it, Deyana “began sensually playing with Hef; arousing Hef by playing with his genitals and masturbating him.”

Tony says Hef was totally into it, and started mounting and thrusting and “even appeared to place his front legs on buttocks.

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In the suit, filed by attorney Ardy Pirnia, Tony says he told Deyana and the photog he did NOT want the footage on the Internet … and they agreed. However, the video and photos showed up on her IG a couple days later.

Gotta say, the video’s pretty damning, although it’s hard to tell who’s the aggressor. Tony later posted the video himself, but added the caption, “I can’t believe this Thirsty girl used my dog to gain followers.”

Any woman who deliberately arouses an animal in front of a camera then is so proud of herself she posts the video online is mentally defective. She seriously needs a psychiatric evaluation.

Tony is suing Deyana for fraud and infliction of emotional distress (on Tony, not Hef). Good luck proving it, but he wants her to fork over $1.5 million in damages.

Best Star Wars Jokes and Puns

Q: Why is Yoda such a good gardener?

A: Because he has a green thumb.

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Q: And why can’t you count on his to pick up the tab?

A: Because he’s always a little short.

~

Q: How do you get down from a bantha?

A: You don’t. You get down from a goose.

~

Q: What did the specter of Obi Wan Kenobi say to the bartender?

A: “Give me a beer and a mop.”

~

Jabba the Hut is fat.

How fat is he?

So fat, Obi Wan took a closer look and said, “that’s no moon.”

 

Star Wars NavajoTristan Ahtone/FronterasEpisode II: Bar Wars

 

The Star Wars text crawl walks into a bar.

“Get outta my pub!” the bartender yells. “We don’t serve your type here.”

~

Luke walks into the Mos Eisley cantina, cradling a slab of dirt in his arms.

“What’ll it be?” asks the barman.

“A pint for me, and one for the road.”

~

The Death Star’s shield generator walks into a bar. The bartender scowls and says, “Alright pal, I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

~

An Ewok strolls into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a whisky and …… soda.”

The bartender says, “Sure thing—but why the little pause?”

“Dunno,” says the Ewok. “I’ve had them all my life.”

~

A clone trooper walks into a pub and asks the barman, “Hey, have you seen my brother?”

“I dunno,” says the barman, “What does he look like?”

~

Two Jawas walk under a bar.

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Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke’s still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, “Use the forks, Luke.

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A Hutt slithers into the food court. The cashier says, “Hey! We have a pizza place named after you!”

The Hutt says, “You have a pizza place named Jabba Desilijic Tiure?”

 

Episode III: If Darth Vader’s Final Words Were Dad Jokes

 

“Luke… I’m reading a great book about Force levitation… I can’t put it down.”

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“Luke…did you know I almost joined the Jedi Debate Team? …Somebody talked me out of it.”

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“Luke…did you know R2D2 used to work for me? …He asked to be paid under the table.”

~

“Luke… I just watched a great documentary about how the Death Star was built… It was riveting, Luke. It was riveting…