Funniest, dumbest and stupidest celebrity quotes

  • «Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding.»
    - Mickey Rivers, baseball player
  • «I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.»
    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
  • «Put the ‘off’ button on.»
    - George W. Bush, Associated Press, 14th February 2000
  • «So Carol, you’re a housewife and mother. And have you got any children?»
    - Michael Barrymore
  • «Food is an important part of a balanced diet.»
    - Fran Lebowitz, US writer
  • «We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?»
    - Lee Iacocca, Chairman of the Chrysler corporation
  • «For NASA, space is still a high priority.»
    - Dan Quayle
  • «He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.»
    - Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer
  • «If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.»
    - George Gobel
  • «If only faces could talk…»
    - Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl
  • «Every minute was more exciting than the next.»
    - Linda Evans, actress
  • «I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me.»
    — Jessica Simpson
  • «Facts are stupid things.»
    - Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President
  • «What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.»
    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
  • «That’s just the tip of the ice cube.»
    - Neil Hamilton, BBC2
  • «A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man.»
    - Samuel Goldwyn
  • «I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid.»
    - Terry Bradshaw, Former football player/announcer
  • «It isn’t pollution that is hurting the environment, it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.»
    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
  • «I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.»
    - Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
  • «The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can’t change. After I die, I’ll probably come back as a paintbrush.»
    - Sylvestor Stallone, Actor
  • «Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.»
    - Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
  • «We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.»
    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
  • «Will the highways on the internet become more few?»
    - George W Bush, Concord, New Hampshire, (29th January 2000)
  • «My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.»
    - Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice.
  • «The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.»
    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
  • «And now the sequence of events in no particular order.»
    - Dan Rather, television news anchor
  • «Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.»
    - George W Bush, Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000
  • «The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.»
    - Dizzy Dean, explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.
  • «I was in a no-win situation, so I’m glad that I won rather than lost.»
    - Frank Bruno, Boxer
  • «I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don’t always agree with them.»
    - George Bush
  • «I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.»
    - George Rogers, NFL New Orleans Saint RB, when asked about the upcoming season
  • «I do not like this word “bomb.” It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding.»
    - Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons
  • «The word ‘genius’ isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.»
    - Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst
  • «Half this game is ninety percent mental.»
    - Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager
  • «Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.»
    - Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel
  • «I’m convinced the Beatles are partly responsible for the fall of Communism.»
    - Milos Forman, Film director
  • «When I’m a blonde, I can say the world is purple, and they’ll believe me because they weren’t listening to me.»
    - Kylie Bax, Model/Actress, in Stuff magazine.
  • «The internet is a great way to get on the net.»
    - Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
  • «You guys, line up alphabetically by height.»
    - Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
  • «I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.»
    - Britney Spears, on Blender Magazine (April 2004)
  • «I think war is a dangerous place.»
    - George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. (May 7, 2003)
  • «I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.»
    - Greg Norman, Golfer
  • «It’s nice, it gives you a feeling of security so that if something breaks we know we can always call a guy over and he’ll bring a drill or something.»
    - Brooke Shields, Actress, on why it was is good to live in a co-ed dormitory when she was in college
  • «Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.»
    - Gyrator, Chicago Rotary Club journal
  • «These people haven’t seen the last of my face. If I go down, I’m going down standing up.»
    - Chuck Person, NBA Basketball player