SERVICE: "Ridge Hall computer assistance, may I help you?" CUSTOMER: "Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect." SERVICE: "What sort of trouble?" CUSTOMER: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." SERVICE: "Went away?" CUSTOMER: "They disappeared." SERVICE: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" CUSTOMER: "Nothing." SERVICE: "Nothing?" CUSTOMER: "It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type." SERVICE: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" CUSTOMER: "How do I tell?" SERVICE: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" CUSTOMER: "What’s a sea prompt?" SERVICE: "Never mind, can you moveRead More →

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’ trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. 2. CARPERPETUATION (kar’ pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. 3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow ‘remove’ all the germs. 4. ELBONICS (el bon’ iks) n. TheRead More →

  If I ever lose a role because of my tattoos, I’ll quit Hollywood and go to work at Costco. MEGAN FOX, Maxim, Jul. 2007 Transformers made $700 million and that opened a door to introduce this “new girl,” and I happened to be such an outrageous personality that people wanted to start writing about me because it was deemed controversial. I think if I had been a typical Hollywood actress and I said all the right things and I had been a publicity android, it wouldn’t have escalated to this level. MEGAN FOX, Entertainment Weekly, Jun. 10, 2009 It is very important not toRead More →