International joke – Two man and a woman

On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:

  • two Italian men and one Italian woman

  • two French men and one French woman

  • two German men and one German woman

  • two Greek men and one Greek woman

  • two English men and one English woman

  • two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman

  • two Japanese men and one Japanese woman

  • two Chinese men and one Chinese woman

  • two American men and one American woman

  • two Irish men and one Irish woman

One month later on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

  • One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

  • The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois.

  • The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

  • The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

  • The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

  • The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean and another long look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming.

  • The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

  • The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/liquor/ convenience store/restaurant/laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store.

  • The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, because the American woman keeps on complaining about her body, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, all the sales she’s missing, how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least the taxes are low and it isn’t raining. The American woman, meanwhile, watches the men fart and scratch.

  • The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey. But they’re satisfied, because at least the English aren’t having any fun.

0 to 200 in 6 seconds

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Smart Blonde Woman

Smart Blonde Joke
Smart Blonde Joke

A smart blonde woman is driving along a country road, out in rolling hills of the Midwest, when she sees some movement off in the distance. As she gets closer, she realizes that it is another blonde woman in a rowboat in the middle of a field rowing the boat like crazy.

She stops her car at the side of the road and gets out. She yells out to the blonde in the rowboat, “What the &$%# are you doing?” The blonde in the boat, obviously flustered, yells back, “I have got to hurry up and get home in time for dinner or I will be in real trouble!”

The blonde at the side of the road is aggravated. “I can’t believe this! You are out in the middle of a field in a row boat! It’s blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! In fact, if I could swim, I would swim out there and kick your butt!”