You realize you are a real redneck if

Are you a redneck
Are you a redneck

1. You assume “loading the dishwasher” means getting your spouse drunk.

2. You ever minimize your grass and located a automotive.

3. You personal a house that’s cell and 5 automobiles that are not.

4. You assume the inventory market has a fence round it.

5. Your stereo audio system used to belong to the Drive-in Theater.

6. Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.

7. You personal a home made fur coat.

8. Chiggers are included in your checklist of prime 5 hygiene issues.

9. You burn your yard moderately than mow it.

10. Your spouse has ever stated, “Come transfer this transmission so I can take a shower”

11. You learn the Auto Dealer with a spotlight pen.

12. The Salvation Military declines your mattress.

13. You have ever raked leaves in your kitchen.

14. Birds are interested in your beard.

15. Your spouse’s job requires her to put on an orange vest.

16. You have been taking pictures pool when any of your children have been born.

17. You could have the native taxidermist’s quantity on velocity dial.

18. You have ever hit a deer along with your automotive…intentionally.

19. Your college battle track was “Dueling Banjos”

20. You assume a series noticed is a musical instrument.

21. You have ever given rat traps as presents.

22. You clear your fingernails with a stick.

23. Your espresso desk was once a cable spool.

24. You retain a can of RAID on the kitchen desk.

25. Your spouse can climb a tree sooner than your cat.

26. Your mom has “ammo” on her Christmas checklist.

27. Each socket in your home breaks a hearth code.

28. You have totaled each automotive you have ever owned.

29. There are greater than 5 McDonald’s baggage in your automotive.

30. The Dwelling Procuring operator acknowledges your voice.

31. There has ever been crime-scene tape in your lavatory door.

32. You have ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

33. The taillight covers of your automotive are manufactured from crimson tape.

34. You assume a subdivision is a part of a math drawback.

35. You have ever bathed with flea and tick cleaning soap.

36. You assume “taking out the trash” means taking your in-laws to a film.

37. You could have each episode of Hee-Haw on tape.

38. You have ever been concerned in a custody battle over a searching canine.

39. You’re thought-about an skilled on worm beds.

40. Your children take a siphon hose to “Present and Inform”

41. The canine catcher requires a backup unit when visiting your home.

42. You have ever purchased a used cap.

43. Your CB antenna is a hazard to low-flying planes.

44. You decide your enamel….. from a catalog.

45. You have ever financed a tattoo.

46. You have ever stolen bathroom paper.

47. You assume a scorching tub is a stolen lavatory fixture.

48. Individuals hear your automotive a very long time earlier than they see it.

49. The fuel pedal in your automotive is formed like a naked foot.

50. You like automotive keys to Q-tips.

51. You are taking a fishing pole into Sea World.

52. You assume a turtleneck is vital ingredient for soup.

53. You have ever stood in line to have your image taken with a freak of nature.

54. You assume the French Riviera is international automotive.

55. You go to a inventory automotive race and do not want a program.

56. You have ever stuffed your deer tag on the golf course.

57. You could have ever used lard in mattress.

58. You personal greater than 3 shirts with minimize off sleeves.

59. You could have ever spray-painted your girlfriends title on an overpass.

60. Your lifetime aim is to personal a fireworks stand.

61. Somebody asks to see your ID and also you present them your belt buckle.

62. The first colour of your automotive is Bondo.

63. Instructions to your home embrace “Flip off the paved street” 64. Your canine and your pockets are each on a series.

65. You owe the taxidermist greater than your annual revenue.

66. You ever misplaced a tooth opening a beer bottle.

67. Jack Daniels makes you checklist of most admired folks.

68. Your spouse’s hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.

69. You see no have to cease at a relaxation cease ‘trigger you might have an empty milk jug.

70. You take into account the fifth grade your senior yr.

71. You could have a rag for a fuel cap (on a automotive that doesn’t run).

72. The canine cannot watch you eat with out gagging.

73. You could have a hefty bag the place the window of your automotive must be.

74. You could have ever bar-b-qued Spam on the grill.

75. Your brother-in-law can be your uncle.

76. Redman Chewing Tobacco sends you a Christmas card.

77. You acquire a VCR as a result of wrestling comes on whilst you’re at work.

78. Your dad walks you to highschool since you’re in the identical grade.

79. You view the following household reunion as an opportunity to satisfy women.

80. Your spouse has a beer stomach and you discover it enticing.

81. Your entrance porch collapses and kills greater than 5 canines.

82. The principle course at potluck dinners is street kill.

83. Your different truck is made by John Deere.

84. You assume suspenders are a sort of blouse.

85. Going to the toilet at night time entails footwear and a flashlight.

86. You retain a spit cup on the ironing board.

87. You ever bought too drunk to fish.

88. A couple of residing relative is known as after a civil battle normal.

89. Your house has extra miles on it than your automotive.

90. You assume that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’ouerve.

91. There’s a stuffed possum wherever in your home.

92. You take into account a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality leisure.

93. Fewer than half of your automobiles run.

94. Your mom would not take away the Marlboro from her lips earlier than telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.

95. You actually assume that ladies are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.

96. You stand below the mistletoe at Christmas and anticipate Granny and cousin Bobby-Sue to stroll by.

97. Your loved ones tree would not have any branches.

98. Your mom has been concerned in a fistfight at a highschool sports activities occasion.

99. One of the simplest ways to maintain issues chilly is to depart’em within the shade.

100. The neighbors began a petition over your Christmas lights.

101. You could have refused to look at the Academy Awards since “Smokey and the Bandit” was snubbed for greatest image.

102. The one condiment in your eating room desk is the economic system measurement bottle of ketchup.

103. The rear tires in your automotive are a minimum of twice as vast because the entrance ones.

104. You take into account “Out of doors Life” deep studying.

105. You prominently show a present you acquire at Graceland.

106. You employ the time period `over yonder’ greater than as soon as a month.

107. The diploma hanging in your den accommodates the phrases “Trucking Institute”

108. You have ever worn a tube prime to a marriage.

109. Your favourite Christmas current, was a portray on black velvet.

110. You assume that Dom Perignon is a mafia chief.

111. Probably the most generally heard phrase at your loved ones reunion is “What the hell are you taking a look at, Shithead?”

112. You assume that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the most important meals teams.

113. You assume that Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug.

114. The primary phrases out of your mouth each time you see mates are “Howdy!” “HEY!” or “How Y’all Doin’?”

115. You could have greater than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.

116. Your father encourages you to stop college as a result of Larry has a gap on the lube rack.

117. You assume a Volvo is a part of a girl’s anatomy.

118. You assume that the Styrofoam cooler is the best invention of all time.

119. You needed to take away a toothpick for marriage ceremony photos.

120. You have ever used a weed eater indoors.

121. It’s a must to go exterior to get one thing out of the ‘fridge.

122. Your richest relative invitations you over to his new dwelling to assist him take away the wheels and skirt.

123. You have ever financed a tattoo.

124. Your concept of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a six-pack.

125. You go to a Tupperware social gathering for a haircut.

126. Your Junior/Senior Promenade had a Daycare.

127. Your children are going hungry tonight since you simply needed to have these Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

128. You will not cease at a relaxation space when you have an empty beer can within the automotive.

129. You could have a really particular baseball cap, only for formal events.

130. It’s a must to scratch your sister’s title out of the message: “for a good time name . . .”, since you really feel responsible about placing it there.

131. You’re nonetheless holding on to Accomplice cash since you assume the South will rise once more.

132. You take into account pork and beans to be a gourmand meals.

133. It’s a must to go all the way down to the creek to take a shower.

134. You take part within the “who can spit tobacco the farthest contest.”

135. You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it yearly.

136. You take into account a 3 piece go well with to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shit and thermal underwear.

137. There’s a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

138. You assume the mountain males in Deliverance have been simply “misunderstood” 139. You have ever made change within the providing plate.

140. You take into account a superb tan to be the again of your neck and the left arm beneath the shirt sleeve. 141. You personal a minimum of 20 baseball hats.

142. You realize of a minimum of six other ways to bend the invoice of a baseball hat.

143. You’ll be able to change the oil in your truck with out ducking your head.

144. Once you run out of fuel, you place gin within the fuel tank!

145. Your greatest ambition in stay is to “git thet huge’ole coon. The one what hangs ‘spherical over yonder, again’ah bubba’s barn”

146. Three quarters of the garments you personal have LOGOS on them.

147. Once you go away your home, you’re adopted by federal brokers of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the one factor you are concerned about is in the event you can unfastened them or not.

148. Your home would not have curtains, however your truck does.

149. You could have began a petition to alter the Nationwide Anthem to “Georgia on My Thoughts”

150. You name your boss “Buddy”, frequently.

151. You take into account your license plate customized as a result of your dad made it in jail.

152. You could have been fired from a building Relationships are hard. It is like a full-time job due to your look.

153. You want yet another gap punched in your card to get a freebie on the Home of Tattoos.

154. You want an estimate out of your barber earlier than you get a haircut.

155. After making love you ask your date to roll down the window.

156. The most important vogue danger you’re taking is which plaid you will put on to the 4-H Truthful.

157. You could have flowers planted in a dry cleaning? A visible brainstorming device to your subsequent assembly? To go away a candy little love be aware to your honey on the toilet equipment in your entrance yard.

158. Somebody in your loved ones says “Cum’n heer an’ lookit this afore I flush it”

159. Your spouse weighs extra then your fridge.

160. Once you see an indication that claims “Say No To Crack,” it reminds you to drag your denims up.

161. You go Christmas purchasing to your mother, sister, and girlfriend, and also you solely want to purchase one reward. 162. Your gene pool would not have a “deep finish”

163. “Honey? Are the lights out? Is the door locked? Is the parking brake set?” is what you hear proper earlier than you and your spouse/woman make love.

164. Your `huntin dawg’ value greater than the truck you drive him round in.

165. You’d moderately catch bass than get some (if you cannot guess…)

166. You could have a Hefty bag for a Automobile/Truck convertible prime.

167. Your belt buckle weighs greater than three kilos.

168. You assume that protected intercourse is a padded headboard on the waterbed.

169. You could have an Elvis Jell-O mildew.

170. You personal extra cowboy boots than sneakers.

171. You have been to a funeral and there have been extra pick-ups than automobiles.

172. You could have an image of Johnny Money, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fire.

173. You simply purchased an 8-track participant to place in your automotive.

174. There are 4 or extra automobiles up on blocks within the entrance yard.

175. The theme track at your highschool promenade was “Buddies in Low Locations” 176. Its Simpler to spray weed killer in your garden than mow it.

177. You assume that John Deere Inexperienced, Ford Blue, and Primer Grey are the three of the first colours.

178. You have ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister’s honor.

179. You concept of speaking throughout intercourse is “Ain’t no automobiles coming, child!”

180. Your automobile has a two-tone paint job–primer crimson and primer grey.

181. The tobacco chewers in your loved ones aren’t simply males.

182. Yer mother calls ya over t’assist, trigger she has a flat tire…on her home. 183. The ASPCA raids yer kitchen. 184. Foreplay consists of slipping off her saddle. 185. Ya cannot get married to yer sweetheart ‘trigger there’s a legislation in opposition to it.

186. Ya have a good time Groundhog Day (trigger ya imagine in it!!)

187. You have been on TV greater than 5 occasions describing the sound of a twister.

188. You fish in your above-ground pool, particularly in the event you catch one thing!

189. Your beer can assortment is taken into account a vacationer attraction in your house city.

190. Should you get up with each a black eye and a hickey.

191. Getting a package deal out of your publish workplace requires a full tank of fuel within the truck.

192. “Buck Bare Line Dancing” is not a videotape, it is “Girls Night time” on the native bar.

193. Your spouse needs to cease on the fuel station to see if they have the brand new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

194. You dated your daddy’s present spouse in highschool.

195. You are moved to tears each time you hear Dolly Parton singing “I Will All the time Love You”

196. You have ever parked a Camaro in a tree.

197. Exxon and Conoco have provided you royalties to your hair.

198. Your dad can be your favourite uncle.

199. Probably the most severe loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty report assortment (your insurance coverage man is one too if he pays you for it) 200. You truly made a pyramid of cans within the pale moonlight with Alan Jackson.

201. You could have spent extra in your pickup truck than in your training.

202. You’ll be able to inform your age by the variety of rings within the bathtub.

203. Your mother offers you tips about find out how to sneak booze into sporting occasions.

204. The blue guide worth of your truck goes up and down relying on how a lot fuel it has in it.

205. Your courses in school have been cancelled as a result of the trail to the restroom was flooded.

206. In your job software below “SEX” you place “As usually as potential”

207. Throughout your senior yr you and your mom had homeroom collectively.

208. You are a “mild” beer drinker, since you begin ingesting when it will get mild.

209. In your first date you needed to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

210. Your parakeet is aware of the phrase “Open up, Police!”

211. You saved a number of cash in your honeymoon by going deer searching.

212. In robust conditions you ask your self, “What would Curly do?”

213. Taking your spouse on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

214. You assume the final phrases to the Star Spangled Banner are “Gents, begin your engines”

215. Your kid’s first phrases are “Consideration Okay-Mart customers”

216. Your spouse’s greatest pair of footwear is steel-toed Crimson Wings.

217. You could have a colour coordinating rope that ties down your automotive hood.

218. You deliver your canine to fake his own death with the intention to get out of his cellphone contract with out paying a payment. It didn’t work with you.

219. You change a flat tire in your truck with a tire from your home.

220. You have ever put a six-pack in a casket proper earlier than they closed it. 221. Your loved ones’s No. 1 enemy is revenuers.

222. Your belt buckle doubles as a serving platter.

223. You employ lava cleaning soap greater than 3 times a day.

224. You put on cowboy boots with Bermuda shorts.

225. You could have a hook in your bathe to hold your hat on.

226. You purchase your spouse tube socks on the flea market.

227. You take into account orange peels left on the espresso desk as potpourri.

228. You’ll be able to’t take a shower as a result of beer is iced down in your tub.

229. Your kitchen doubles as a bait retailer.

230. You have ever picked up a girl in a comfort retailer.

231. You throw a beer can out the truck window and your spouse shoots it.

232. You have ever fed your date french fries in a Denny’s.

233. Going to the laundromat means cleansing out the again of the truck.

234. Your loved ones reunion includes a chewing tobacco spit-off.

235. You come dwelling from the rubbish dump with greater than you went with.

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