Why do Folks Hate BMW Drivers? Finest BMW Jokes

Q: What’s the distinction between a BMW and a porcupine?

A: Porcupines have pricks on the skin.

Q: What’s the BMW proprietor’s most ardent want?

A: A much bigger penis.

Q: What must you do should you discover three BMW homeowners buried as much as their neck in cement?
A: Get extra cement.

Wish to hear a automotive joke?
BMW 2 Collection.

What must you do should you discover three BMW homeowners buried as much as their neck in cement?
Get extra cement.

What is the distinction between a BMW proprietor and a carp?
One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the opposite is a fish.

In line with a brand new ballot 91 p.c of persons are satisfied with their lives.
The opposite 9 p.c are BMW homeowners.

There are two causes I do not take my girlfriend on longs drives in my Beamer.
One I haven’t got a girlfriend.
Two I haven’t got a BMW.

BMW meme

BMW One Liners

So that you’re in highschool and also you drive a BMW? It’s essential to know all about exhausting work then.

I might give each my testies for a brand new BMW.

When you see somebody driving a BMW, keep away! Analysis reveals that BMW drivers are the rudest on the road.

You wanna man that drives a BMW, however your dad drives a Toyota. Why you’ll be able to’t be humble like your mother?

I simply noticed a BMW driver utilizing his indicators accurately on the motorway. Twice. Ought to I report the vehicle as stolen?

A woman who swallows is like proudly owning a BMW, You do not want it, however it’s good to have.

BMW Bar Jokes

Automotive Purchasing

A girl walks right into a BMW dealership. She browses round, spots the Prime-of-the-line Beemer and walks over to examine it. As she bends over to really feel the nice leather-based upholstery, she inadvertently breaks Wind.

Very embarrassed, she appears to be like round nervously to see if anybody has observed her little accident and prays {that a} gross sales particular person would not pop up proper now.

As she turns round, her worst nightmare materializes within the type of a salesman standing proper behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying full professionalism, the salesperson greets the woman With, “Good day, Madame. How could we show you how to at present?” Very uncomfortably, however hoping that the salesperson could not have been there on the time of her accident, she asks, “Sir, what’s the worth of this beautiful car?”

He solutions, “Madam, should you farted simply touching it, you will shit your self once I inform you the worth.”

Mid Life Disaster

A person in his 40’s purchased a brand new BMW convertible and was out for a pleasant night drive. The highest was down, the breeze was blowing via what was left of his hair, and he determined to open her up.

Because the needle jumped as much as 90 mph, he abruptly noticed flashing purple and blue lights behind him. “There is not any manner they will catch a BMW,” he thought to himself and opened her up additional. The needle hit 100, 120…. then the fact of the state of affairs hit him.

“What the hell am I doing?” he thought and pulled over.

The cop got here as much as him, took his license and not using a phrase, and examined it and the automotive. “It has been a protracted day, that is the tip of my shift, and it is Friday the thirteenth. I do not really feel like extra paperwork, so should you can provide me an excuse on your driving that I have never heard earlier than, you’ll be able to go.”

The man thinks for a second and says, “Final week my spouse ran off with a cop. I used to be afraid you had been making an attempt to present her again.”

“Have a pleasant weekend,” stated the officer

Materialistic Lawyer

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when abruptly a automotive got here alongside and hit the door, ripping it off utterly. When the police arrived on the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly concerning the harm to his valuable BMW.

“Officer, look what they’ve performed to my Beeemer!!!”, he whiningly stated.

“You legal professionals are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!” retorted the officer, “You are so anxious about your silly BMW, that you simply did not even discover that your left arm was ripped off!!!”

“Oh my god….”, replied the lawyer, lastly noticing the bloody left shoulder the place his arm as soon as was, “The place’s my Rolex?

World’s Worst BMW Drivers – BMW Automotive Crash Compilation and Driving Fails

BMW Acronyms

Brings Me Ladies!
Bavarian Homicide Weapons
Bavarian Motorised Wankermobile
Born Reasonably Rich
Massive Mexican Weiner
Massive Cash Waste
Break My Home windows
Black Mans Willy
Beats My Wooden
Borrows My Pockets
Bothers My Willy
Buffoon Made Waste
Bust My Waller
Blonde Man Wheels
Broke My Pockets
Brings Me Ladies
Massive Mexican Lady
Purchased My Spouse
Breaks Most Wrenches
Lovely Mechanical Surprise
Finest Bike Worldwide
Dangerous Mutha’ Wheels
Boozedup Moron Wagon
Black Man’s Wheels
Be My Spouse
Black Man’s Want
Massive Cash Waster
Break My Window
Convey Cash With you

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