Well-known Homer Simpson quotes

homer simpson

  1. Operator! Give me the quantity for 911!
  2. Oh, in order that they have web on computer systems now!
  3. Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We might purchase all types of helpful issues like…love!
  4. Simply because I don’t care doesn’t imply I don’t perceive.
  5. I’m usually not a praying man, however when you’re up there, please save me Superman.
  6. Son, when you actually need one thing on this life, you need to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.
  7. Nicely, it’s 1 a.m. Higher go dwelling and spend some high quality time with the youngsters.
  8. Perhaps, simply as soon as, somebody will name me ‘Sir’ with out including, ‘You’re making a scene.’
  9. Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of issues is essential to be taught. It’s what separates us from the animals! Besides the weasel.
  10. Doughnuts. Is there something they will’t do?
  11. You understand, boys, a nuclear reactor is quite a bit like a lady. You simply need to learn the guide and press the suitable buttons.
  12. Lisa, when you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You simply go in each day and do it actually half-assed. That’s the American approach.
  13. When will I be taught? The reply to life’s issues aren’t on the backside of a bottle, they’re on TV!
  14. Son, if you take part in sporting occasions, it’s not whether or not you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.
  15. I’m going to the again seat of my automotive, with the lady I like, and I gained’t be again for ten minutes!
  16. [Meeting Aliens] Please don’t eat me! I’ve a spouse and children. Eat them!
  17. What do we want a psychiatrist for? We all know our child is nuts.
  18. Marge, you’re as stunning as Princess Leia and as sensible as Yoda.
  19. Youngsters, you tried your finest and also you failed miserably. The lesson is, by no means strive.
  20. The one monster right here is the playing monster that has enslaved your mom! I name him Gamblor, and it’s time to grab your mom from his neon claws!
  21. Once I have a look at the grins on all the kids’s faces, I simply know they’re about to jab me with one thing.
  22. I’m having the very best day of my life, and I owe all of it to not going to Church!
  23. Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn’t, it’s that women ought to stick to ladies sports activities, equivalent to sizzling oil wrestling and cunning boxing and such and such.
  24. I’m not a nasty man! I work laborious, and I like my youngsters. So why ought to I spend half my Sunday listening to about how I’m going to Hell?
  25. Getting out of jury responsibility is simple. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced in opposition to all races.
  26. It’s not straightforward to juggle a pregnant spouse and a troubled little one, however one way or the other I managed to slot in eight hours of TV a day.
  27. Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
  28. I need to share one thing with you: The three little sentences that can get you thru life. No 1: Cowl for me. Quantity 2: Oh, good concept, Boss! Quantity 3: It was like that once I received right here.
  29. Oh, folks can give you statistics to show something, Kent. 14% of individuals know that.
  30. Do not forget that postcard Grandpa despatched us from Florida of that Alligator biting that girl’s backside? That’s proper, all of us thought it was hilarious. However, it seems we had been flawed. That alligator was sexually harrassing that girl.
  31. Outdated folks don’t want companionship. They must be remoted and studied so it may be decided what vitamins they’ve that could be extracted for our private use.
  32. How is schooling presupposed to make me really feel smarter? In addition to, each time I be taught one thing new, it pushes some previous stuff out of my mind. Bear in mind once I took that dwelling winemaking course, and I forgot the right way to drive?
  33. Tv! Instructor, mom, secret lover.
  34. Homer no operate beer nicely with out.
  35. I’ve at all times questioned if there was a god. And now I do know there’s — and it’s me.
  36. Kill my boss? Do I dare dwell out the American dream?
  37. If one thing goes flawed on the plant, blame the man who can’t communicate English.
  38. I’m by no means going to be disabled. I’m sick of being so wholesome.
  39. I like my beer chilly, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
  40. [Looking at a globe map…country being Uruguay] Hee hee! Have a look at this nation! ‘You-are-gay.’
  41. All my life I’ve had one dream, to realize my many targets.
  42. Dad, you’ve performed a number of nice issues, however you’re a really previous man, and previous individuals are ineffective.
  43. However Marge, what if we selected the flawed faith? Every week we simply make God madder and madder.
  44. I feel Smithers picked me due to my motivational abilities. Everybody says they need to work quite a bit more durable when I’m round.
  45. Expensive Lord.. The gods have been good to me. For the primary time in my life, all the things is totally good simply the way in which it’s. So right here’s the deal: You freeze all the things the way in which it’s, and I gained’t ask for something extra. If that’s OK, please give me completely no signal. OK, deal.
  46. That’s it! You folks have stood in my approach lengthy sufficient. I’m going to clown school!
  47. Beer: The reason for, and resolution to, all of life’s issues.
  48. If one thing’s laborious to do, then it’s not price doing
  49. I’m in no situation to drive…wait! I shouldn’t hearken to myself, I’m drunk!
  50. ‘To Begin Press Any Key’. The place’s the ANY key?

Bart Simpson Show Opening Chalkboard Quotes

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