United States State Mottos
Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity
Alabama: Like the Third World, but Closer!
Alabama: Keeping it in the Family Since 1819
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can’t Be Wrong!
Alaska: Jeez, it’s Cold.
Alaska: Yeah, But It’s a Dry Cold.
Arizona: But It’s a Dry Heat
Arizona: Soon To Be the Pacific Coast State
Arizona: There’s nothing like living on the sun.
Arkansas: Literacy Ain’t Everything
Arkansas: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Laugh
Arkansas: Attention K-Mart Shoppers!
California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
California: From the Hills to the Hood, we’re still better than you.
Colorado: Now 100% John Denver Free!
Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don’t Own It Yet
Connecticut: The Middle C is silent, Ca**hole.
Delaware: Everything is Smaller Here!
Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Florida: Leave us alone, we’re busy enjoying the 82 degree winter.
Florida: Get Off of My State, You Kids!
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Florida: So Close, You Can Smell Fidel
Florida: More Than Just a Great Place to Die
Florida: Canadian Collector (thanks to Julia Andrews)
Florida: America’s Wang
Georgia: We Put The “Fun” In Fundamentalist Extremism
Georgia: Hey, don’t mess with us or we’ll take away the hip-hop and rap music!
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Hawaii: Come surfing because we love your hilarious You Tube vids.
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes. Well Okay, Not Really, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Idaho: You Can Be Da Ho Next
Illinois: Please Don’t Pronounce the “S”
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Indiana: Dan Quayle’s Favorite Country!
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things with Corn
Kansas: First of the Rectangle States
Kansas: No, we don’t know Dorothy!
Kansas: Like Oklahoma but More Square
Kansas: Everyone Already got the Good Stereotypes
Kansas: Meth capital of the USA
Kansas: Pretty damn empty
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana: Don’t worry, We All Come with Translators.
Louisiana: We’re Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, but That’s Our Tourism Campaign
Maine: We’re Really Cold, but We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland: Coming soon, Baltimore’s top junkie!
Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts: Our Taxes are Lower Than Sweden’s
Massachusetts: Now with 30% Fewer Kennedys!
Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians
Michigan: Last One Out, Turn off the Lights!
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Minnesota: 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Construction.
Mississippi: Come and Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
Missouri: Loves Company!
Missouri: The “Show Me State”. You show me yours and I’ll show you my rifle.
Montana: Land Of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and Very Little ElseNebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nebraska: At least the cows are sane.
Nebraska: The “N” is for Knowledge
Nebraska: Bring Something to Do!
Nebraska: Land of Two Seasons – Winter and Construction
Nevada: Whores and Poker!
Nevada: Hookers and Blow!
New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone
New Hampshire: Just Like Old Hampshire, but Newer
New Hampshire: If you don’t have a Ford F150 or bigger get the f**k out!
New Jersey: What Smell?
New Jersey: Don’t even THINK about making that left turn, buddy!
New Jersey: You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
New Jersey: The Jug Handle State (thanks to Katrina Langley)
New Mexico: Cleaner than Regular Mexico and Less Bodies in the Sandbox
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York: You Have the Right To Remain Silent, You Have the Right To an Attorney
New York: We Matter, You Don’t!
North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable
North Dakota: We Really Are One of the 50 States!
Ohio: The drinking state with a football problem.
Ohio: An empty state on holidays and weekends (because everyone is in Kentucky).
Ohio: At Least We’re Not Michigan
Ohio: Where One of Your Dad’s Friends Lives
Ohio: It’s Not Just “Hello” in Japanese
Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
Oklahoma: It’s a Dry Heave
Oregon: Spotted Owl – It’s What’s For Dinner
Oregon: It’s OR-EE-GUN, you idiot!
Oregon: Are you kidding? It’s “o-ri-gin”!
Pennsylvania: What the !@#$%&* You Looking At?!
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Rhode Island: Welcome to Rhode Island. You’re now leaving Rhode Island. (thanks to Nathan Reid)
Rhode Island: We’re Not REALLY An Island
Rhode Island: Small, Yes, But We Know What to Do with It!
South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn’t Actually Surrender
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee: The Educashun State
Texas: Si’ Hablo Ing’les (Yes, I Speak English)
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Utah: set your watch back 20 years.
Vermont: Yep
Vermont: Gettin’ Busy with New Hampshire since 1791
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don’t Mix?
Washington: Help! We’re Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!
Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia: One million people, and 15 last names.
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family – Really!
Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
Wisconsin: Come Smell our Dairy Air
Wyoming: Where Men are Men And The Sheep are Scared
