This is the most expansive and accurate girl-to guy translation method
Quote Number 1:” I love you like a brother.”
Translation: Having sex with you is as appealing to me as incest.
Quote Number 2:” I really like you as a friend.”
Translation: I’d rather get impaled by a narwhal than have sexual intercourse with you.
Quote Number 3: “Being in a relationship would ruin our friendship.”
Translation: Being stabbed by a knife and being stabbed by your penis would lead to similar outcomes, me in tears.
Quote Number 4: “You’re too nice to date.”
Translation: Grow some balls, bitch.
Quote Number 5: “You’re so great. I’m glad someone listens to my problems.”
Translation: You know what else always listens to my problems? My cat. It has no life either.
Quote Number 6: “I love you…”
Translation: Like a teddy bear. And no, I won’t have sex with you. I’m not a furry.
Quote Number 7: “My boyfriend is such an asshole. Let me tell you about him.”
Translation: Hey, you kind of remind me of Dr. Phil. It’s probably the baldness.
Quote Number 8: “You’re so sweet.”
Translation: Cotton candy is sweet too and I’m sure as hell not dating that.
Quote Number 9: “Do you want to go to the movies?”
Translation: No one is paying for me to see Twilight.
Quote Number 10: “I’m just not ready for a boyfriend.”
Translation: Don’t take rejection too hard. We can still watch terrible romantic comedies together.