The World Actually Is Filled with Silly Folks

stupid

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours making an attempt to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his house. After firing ten tear gasoline canisters, officers found that the person was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come back out and provides himself up…

An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and compelled him to drive to 2 completely different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw cash from his personal financial institution accounts…

A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia acquired a one-day suspension below his elementary college’s drug coverage final week – for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly instructed a classmate that the mints would make him “leap greater.”

And a scholar in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for 3 days for giving a classmate a cough drop. College principal Forest Mann reiterated the varsity’s “zero-tolerance” coverage…to not be confused with the “zero-intelligence” coverage…

Hearth investigators on Maui have decided the reason for a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 house final month – a brief within the home-owner’s newly put in hearth prevention alarm system. “That is even worse than final yr,” mentioned the distraught home-owner, “when somebody broke in and stole my new safety system…”

A person in Taormina, Italy was hospitalized after swallowing 46 teaspoons, 2 cigarette lighters, and a pair of salad tongs.

A person walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Store, and requested for all the cash within the money drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the shop clerk and labored the counter himself for 3 hours till police confirmed up and grabbed him.

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a theft suspect who simply could not management himself throughout a lineup. When detectives requested every man within the lineup to repeat the phrases, “Give me all of your cash or I will shoot,” the person shouted, “That is not what I mentioned!”

A financial institution robber in Virginia Seashore acquired a nasty shock when a dye pack designed to mark stolen cash exploded in his Fruit-of-the-Looms. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the entrance of his pants as he was operating out the door. “He was seen hopping and leaping round,” mentioned police spokesman MikeCarey, “with an explosion going down inside his pants.” Police have the person’s charred trousers in custody…

A person spoke frantically into the cellphone: “My spouse is pregnant and her contractions are solely two minutes aside!” “Is that this her first baby?” the physician requested. “No, you fool!” the person shouted. “That is her husband!”
Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport lodge after he tried to cross two (counterfeit) $16 payments.

A person in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old buddy within the face, significantly wounding him, whereas the 2 practiced taking pictures beer cans off one another’s head.

An organization making an attempt to proceed its five-year good security document confirmed its employees a movie geared toward encouraging using security goggles on the job. In line with Industrial Equipment Information, the movie’s depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five employees suffered minor accidents of their rush to go away the screening room. 13 others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he reduce his head falling off a chair whereas watching the movie.

The Chico, California, Metropolis Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fantastic for anybody detonating one inside metropolis limits.

A bus carrying 5 passengers was hit by a automotive in St. Louis, however by the point police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash accidents and again ache.

Swedish enterprise advisor Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a ebook about Swedish financial options. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, solely to have it decreased to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a employee confused the copier with the shredder.

A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then just a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for theft. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She wanted to see him, and thus had him paged. Cops acknowledged his title and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a automotive he had stolen over the lunch hour.

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by putting a metallic colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He is mendacity” was positioned within the copier, and police pressed the copy button every time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the reality. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.

When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused at hand over the money to an intoxicated robber, the person threatened to name the police. They nonetheless refused, so the robber referred to as the police and was arrested.

A Los Angeles man who later mentioned he was “bored with strolling,” stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase till an officer stepped aboard and introduced the car to a cease.

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