Tagged: Sound

When somebody uses incorrect but similar sounding words to express themselves

What almost always gets a laugh out of us it is when someone uses words that sound wrong, but similar to express themselves. Electrical rather than electoral, bone jaw instead of  bonjour , suppository rather than repository – the comic potential is almost unlimited, because we all have blind spots where we mix two words that sound similar they are, in fact, nothing more than a similar meaning.

Here is a list of 20 weird superstitions

1. A bird in the house is a sign of death.

2. A loaf of bread should never be turned upside down after cutting a slice.

3. Never carry a broom when you move. Drop it and buy a new one.

4. If the first butterfly you see in the year is white, you will have good luck all year.

5. If a black cat walks towards you, it brings good fortune, but if it moves away, it brings good luck.

6. An acorn in the window will keep lightning

7. A dog that howls at night when someone in the house is sick is a bad omen.

8. It is bad luck to leave a house through a different door than the one that used to enter.

9. A horseshoe hanging in the bedroom will keep nightmares away.

10. If a leaf falls on the first day of autumn, it will not catch cold all winter.

11. If a mirror in the house falls and breaks alone, someone in the house will die soon.

12. Dropping an umbrella on the floor means there will be a murder in the house.

13. All windows must be opened at the time of death so that the soul can leave.

14. If the groom drops the wedding ring during the ceremony, the marriage is condemned.

15. Dreaming of a lizard is a sign that you have a secret enemy.

16. If a friend gives you a knife, you must give him a coin, or your friendship will be broken soon.

17. You should never start a trip on Friday or you will face misfortune.

18. The dream of running: a sign of a great change in your life.

19. If a clock that has not worked suddenly sounds, there will be a death in the family.

20. It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same match.

Man survives two days at sea in underwater air pocket

A man survived in a sunken ship for nearly three days – 270 feet underwater, in pitch darkness, while listening to fish eat the corpses of his shipmates.

Harrison Okene; a Nigerian man was trapped for nearly three days in 98ft deep, freezing sea water. He was on board the tug boat, Jascon-4 when the boat met with a mishap and sank upside down on the seabed. Since Harrison was trapped in an air pocket, he was able to breathe during the ordeal. He was the lone survivor out of the 12 on board.

He worked as a cook on board and was in the toilet when the mishap occurred. Fortunately, he was able to find an area with an air pocket which led him to survive. He was in the water in total darkness, thinking that the water would fill up the room in which he was trapped. But somehow, the water did not enter. He said he was hungry but more than that he was intensely thirsty. In his account to news reporters he said, that he could even hear the fish eating the dead bodies of his fellow crew members.

After 60 hours, he could hear the sound of someone knocking on the door. It was one of the rescue members from DCN Global Diving Company.

Harrison says that he is still unable to recover from the trauma and sometimes when he is asleep, he feels as if his bed is sinking and is in water and then he wakes up screaming.(source)

Michael Jackson Wrote Music for Sonic the Hedgehog 3

Michael Jackson might be the greatest pop star of all time, and Sonic the Hedgehog is one of the most successful video game franchises of all time. But what you may not know is that Michael Jackson actually wrote music for the 1993 game Sonic the Hedgehog 3.

This rumor began with one young man who obsessively poured over MJ music and Sonic the Hedgehog background music, and discovered that they sounded way too similar to be just a coincidence. After years of existing only as an internet rumor, in January 2016, the composers for the soundtrack confirmed that the King of Pop really did write music for the Sega game.

Fan theories aside, as of January 2016, a feature in HuffPost appears to confirm Jackson’s involvement with the soundtrack, saying the late popstar was eventually forced to leave the project in the wake of child abuse allegations against him.

michael jackson sonic game

But while many of Jackson’s co-composers, including Brad Buxer and Geoff Grace, are written into the game’s credits, there is no mention of Jackson anywhere.

Most fans and publications, including The Independent and Billboard, agree that Jackson was at least supposed to write the music for Sega’s Sonic 3. But to-date, the Japanese game giant still denies his involvement.

Daughters vibrator – A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter’s bedroom…

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter’s bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.

What are you doing?” she exclaimed.

The daughter replied, “I’m 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I’ll ever get to a husband.”

Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on the sofa with her vibrator.

“What are you doing?” he exclaimed.

The daughter replied, “I’m 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I’ll ever get to a husband.”

A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room. In there, she found her husband watching the Super Bowl on television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.

“What are you doing?” she exclaimed.

He replied…………”Watching the game with my son-in-law.”

submitted by /u/Shamrockandroll

Greatest Philosophical Questions of All Time – That We’ll Never Solve

* Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
* If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?
* Does fuzzy logic tickle?
* If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?
* I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
* How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
* I don’t have a solution, but I admire your problem.
* If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly,is a fog horn made out of?
* If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, “Quit while you’re ahead”?
* Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
* I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.
* Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
* What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

Philosophical Questions

Philosophical Question

* What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?
* If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
* Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?
* Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?
* Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
* Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
* Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
* Why do we wait until a pig is dead to “cure” it?
* Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
* Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”?
* Whatever happened to Absorbine Senior?
* If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
* A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
* Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
* For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
* He who hesitates is probably right.
* Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
* No one is listening until you make a mistake.
* Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
* The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
* The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
* To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
* To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above (below?) your principles.
* Two wrongs are only the beginning
* Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.
* You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. (The corrolary is: You never learn to pray until your kids learn to drive!)
* The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
* Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
* The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
* If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it’s probably best to avoid eye contact.
* When pie are squared you get Pop Tarts.
* I prefer the sign that says “No Entry” to the one that says “No Exit”
* It is unhealthy to live. He who lives, dies.
* Sometimes I feel like such an incredible nothing.
* It’s funny how entertaining you can be to some people just by listening to them.
* Compact cars make people look bigger.
* No pleasure is enjoyed without some measure of pain.
* If you clap with one hand, will it make a sound?
* Less is more.
* The first condition of immortality is death.
* They can because they think they can.
* Think before you think.
* To be a leader, watch where others are headed then run out in front of them.
* Fear not that your life will end, but rather that it will never begin.
* Strangers are only friends we haven’t met.
* That which we are, we are…
* Sure it’s a cruel world, but where else is there to go.
* We are the people our parents warn us about.
* Some people think it’s the holding on that makes us strong. Sometimes it’s the letting go.
* Disclaimer: We have no wish to offend you unless you’re a twit.
* If at first you don’t succeed, change the rules.
* Anarchy – It’s not the law, it’s just a good idea.
* The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.
* It’s not the principle of the thing. It’s the money.
* Eat the rich. The poor are tough and stringy.
* All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
* Just because everything is different doesn’t mean anything has changed.
* Sincerity is the key. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
* The breakfast of champions is the opposition.
* If we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are headed.
* Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
* Always do right. This will gratify many people, and astonish the rest.
* Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you frantic.
* Decadence is its own reward.
* An honest politician is one who stays bought.
* Organize for anarchy!
* Circular definition: see “circular definition.”
* Help! The paranoids are out to get me!
* According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
* I don’t see you, so don’t pretend you’re there
* If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip’s Screwdriver?
* Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
* Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
* If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
* Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns?
* If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
* When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
* Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
* Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.
* When cheese gets it’s picture taken, what does it say?
* Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
* Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
* Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
* If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
* Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety one?
* “I am ” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do ” is the longest sentence?
* If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
* Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”?
* Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
* If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
* If people from Poland are called “Poles,” why aren’t people from Holland called “Holes?”