Tagged: Science

Rampaging Kaiju NOT a Metaphor for Realistic Global Danger

Kaiju monster

Dear New York Times Opinions and Editorials Page (or whatever nationally recognized publication ultimately receives and runs this column; I feel assured that wherever this piece has landed is a news journal of the highest regard),

Allow me to introduce myself. I am KIRGO!, or as many of you likely know me by now, the massive reptilian creature that just weaved a path of destruction through half of Northeast Asia. I am writing this just off the coast of South Korea, where I have chosen to take a break from my seemingly random acts of destruction to attempt to make something abundantly clear.

I am not a metaphor.

I see the reports and I read the articles speculating on why I could be doing this, what could have created such a monster, yada yada yada. The fact is, I am just a big lizard that can inexplicably shoot a heatbeam out of my mouth. I destroyed Seoul for the same reasons you humans might destroy an anthill with a magnifying glass – because you heard other kids did it before you and had to see for yourself whether or not it worked.

No part of my attack should be construed to represent Western imperialism, nor should I be looked at as some giant walking symbol of climate change. Monsters just gotta smash, okay? I didn’t melt the Eiffel Tower last week because I really wanted to send home the looming threat of nuclear weapons. I did it because I am a badass creature whose eyes glow red when I get mad enough. Can I just get some freakin credit for once?

Just a couple stories that say “Big Monster Wows With Destructive Force – Very Cool!” or “KIRGO! Rampage One of the Best Destructions to Ever Lack an Ulterior Motive.” It’s genuinely the least you could do. At this point, anything else is blatantly disrespectful towards me. I have feelings too, you know.

For example, when the world superpowers sent their combined armed forces to take me out with a pure hellstorm of firepower, I wasn’t frothing at the mouth at the thought of everyone finally seeing how a global terror event can actually work as a bureaucratic unifier. Yuck – boring! Jets and tanks being blown into a million pieces by my raw might? Rad as hell. That’s all it was – get used to it! Remember when I melted the Eiffel Tower and you all said it was symbolic of changing climates eventually destroying our current idea of civilization? Nope! It was symbolic of me seeing the Eiffel Tower and thinking, “Oh man, this is gonna be so dope.”

So please, I humbly ask of you all, as I approach landfall with nothing more on my mind than “boom boom fire crush,” don’t think of it as a launchpad to finally have that discussion about American imperialism or some other nerd shit. Think of it as me, a fifty-foot-tall iguana coming to kick your tallest building’s ass. Nothing more, nothing less.

See you soon,

KIRGO! xoxo

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The CDC Just Released a Comprehensive List of Everything You Can Do Once You Have the COVID Vaccine

Batman Vaccinated

You can now deliver your $12 birthday check to your grandson, in person.

You can now eat a Bloomin’ Onion inside Outback Steakhouse, as God intended.

You can now put your arms out and expect birds to alight on them, in song. 

You can now correctly spell and say Worcestershire.

You can now always pick the most perfectly ripe avocado. 

You can now know the exact right time to leave a conversation before it gets dull. 

You can now pee in a pool and it WON’T turn blue. 

You can now flawlessly parallel park, even with someone watching. 

You can now remember all your passwords. 

You can now remove the tags off mattresses without getting in trouble.

You can now juggle plates, bowling pins, and, if you received the Pfizer vaccine, fire.

You can now go to the beach and not get sandy holes. 

You can now predict the weather and guess what? It’s always sunny.

You can now cut to the front of the line at the DMV. 

You can now fly.

You can now solve crimes. 

You can now avenge your parents’ grisly murder.

You can now live with a very old man who tends to your cave of sadness.

You can now be Batman. 

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Famous Literary Characters on the Vaccine Rollout

Mask of Zorro


Deese wearing of the mask is no problemo. We have the evidence that it helps the people. Less spread of the virus. And the vaccines? Yes, let the people receive them. Make them available to everyone, not just plump politicians. I’d be happy to administer to the elites. They can bare their shoulders to the vaccine – smeared tip of my rapier. Ha, ha!

Ebenezer Scrooge

Oh, dear, oh, dear. The vaccine needs to get out to everyone as soon as possible, especially the poor and working class! They are the ones who are on the front lines, stocking and helping in our stores, delivering our mail, tending the sick. The desk-sitters like me can wait a bit. We must think of the Cratchits of this world! I sit at my desk counting numbers and marking ledgers, but others must interact with colleagues and the general public, putting them at the most risk of COVID exposure. Give them a shot at “the shot” first, and spare not a farthing doing it. Then it shall be a beautiful morn on the horizon!


Three vaccines for the world of men, but only one to rule them all (because you don’t want to mix doses). Well, not one, technically. Even getting one vaccine requires a follow-up. Your journey will be perilous, a heavy burden shall weigh upon you, and all manner of sorcery can befall after that first shot: aches, pains, mild fever, tiredness. Do not give up hope! Seek comfort from the Sams in your life. After the second shot, if you avoid Johnson & Johnson’s like I did, your vaccine will be complete. There will still be a heavy weight upon the world, but you will be free of this virus’ insidious grasp.

Edmond Dantes

This virus has taken from me my shopping trips, movie theater dates, Bonnaroo festival, and swimming at the community pool – all of which I hold dearest. I train and watch MMA YouTube videos made by teens in their backyards. As I don’t have weights, I lift my wife’s heaviest pots in her garden. Also motivating is that film The Punisher where John Travolta gets his comeuppance. Yes, once I get these shots, things will be set to rights. This vaccine means vengeance, and by that I mean a more fit Count.

Dorothy Gale

I know I’ve said there’s no place like home, but I retract that. Get me out of this godforsaken cage! Take me back to Oz or the dentist when I was four – anywhere but here. Shit, Hades would be a change. I’m sick and tired of these four walls. Even Toto is fed up. He gazes longingly out the window, and I just know he wants me to take him to town, to walk the central park, visit town hall… but there are people there. At least in Oz, witches and magical creatures can’t spread the virus, can they? I didn’t think so. This vaccine couldn’t get me out of this abysmal house sooner.

Arya Stark

Mask, sanitizer, no-touch door opener, vaccine. Mask, sanitizer, no-touch door opener, vacc – oh, sorry, didn’t see you there. That was just me doing my list thing. Yeah, COVID has pretty much messed up plans to execute my other list, so I’ve created this new one. It reminds me of the things I need to venture out now. I’ve been through quite a bit, you know; I could do without a nasty virus. I’m a Stark so I’m used to things being stark already, but geez. They can stick that needle in me anytime. I’d like to get back to my real list. Matter of fact, if I could, I’d stick my sword “needle” right through this virus if it were a person.

Long John Silver

To be quite honest, mateys, this COVID business has put a bit of a damper on me sea voyaging. I’m always in search of me treasure, you see, and like anyone traveling long distances I likes to put me feet up every now ‘n then – or perhaps I should say foot. The crew also gets antsy for a rest, but most ports aren’t taking any new visitors on fear of the virus spread. So I’ve just been hunkerin’ down with me new parrot, cooking the crew gourmet meals and fishing off the bow. You know, trying to pass the time. Still got me map, still got me compass. Just can’t use ‘em till this here vaccine rolls out and we all become COVID-free hearty mateys. The days are long being on lockdown ‘ere on the ship, but I’m used to it. At times, I think of how I wronged ol’ Jimboy and I pray he’s vaccinated, or if not, at least virus-free. I try not to get down on meself too much. On the bright side, the big blue expanse ain’t goin’ nowheres, and there’s still plenty of rum to be had!

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Donald Trump took a swipe at Greta Thunberg – Swedish activist Greta Thunberg has made it her mission to lower greenhouse gas emissions and make the world a greener

Pressed on whether she would try to change the president’s mind Donald Trump on climate change, Greta Thunberg told reporters, “Listen science” and he obviously can not do. If nobody could convince him of the climate crisis and urgency, why am I capable of? ”

Thunberg’s position is understandable. Trump tweeted that “the concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese to make US manufacturing non-competitive. “As president, he has uprooted green policies implemented by Obama. The Independent reported that in September 2019, Trump had “rolled back or tried to roll back 85 regulations on the environment,” including rules to protect people against asbestos, air pollution, unsafe water and lead paint.

Trump could not listen to the science, but he apparently listened Thunberg said UN members that world leaders fail to the detriment of children around the world. In response, the president tweeted: “It seems to be a very happy young girl forward to a bright and wonderful future. So nice to see! “Thunberg in turn, adopted its description as his Twitter bio. After seeing the unique brand Trump statesman on full screen internet discovered anti-bullying message that Thunberg weeks earlier tweeted: “When haters go after your looks and differences, it means they have nowhere go and you know you’re winning. ! “

Storm Area 51- They Can’t Stop All of Us – UFO fans gather in Nevada

In the last of the strange and crazy on the Internet, a Facebook event entitled “Storm Zone 51, they can not stop all” went viral. Over 1.3 million people have indicated that they are going to this event joke 3 pm on September 20 to organize a joint invasion of the military base and finally “see foreigners. ”

Local residents are “preparing for the worst” fans Viral Storm Area 51 Facebook event down on a town near the secret military base. The event could become a disaster that people struggling with difficult conditions in Nevada without proper preparation, they warned.

Local officials have already signed emergency declarations in response to the event, and local residents warned people not to come. But the event is still likely to prove popular, leading people to take precautions against anything that might happen.

At least two people were arrested by members of the local sheriff to a door at Area 51 in Nevada after about 75 people gathered at the site Friday morning.

A rally weekend is going on in the desert after an Internet hoax released in June invited people to “storm” the military installation once secret. The place is the center of the popular traditions of the foreign government studies the life and extraterrestrial space.

In June, 20 Matty Roberts, a student from Bakersfield, California, posted a tongue in cheek event on Facebook.

The name of the Facebook event was “Storm Zone 51, they can not stop all”. The plan, as the name suggests, was to load the base sufficient to bypass security.

Once inside the facility, the supposed secrets lurk within – the alien technology and research clandestine government – could finally be disclosed to the public. “Let’s see them foreigners,” the description of the event said, though casually.

A few days after its launch, the event has become a viral sensation, making headlines around the world.

Because the base is a classified military installation, nobody knows what is happening there. His goal has always been to “advance science and military technology and faster than any other foreign power is in the world,” Ms Jacobsen said. Her veil of secrecy led others to different conclusions.

“The basis remains a black box that no one can enter, it has become a kind of Rorschach test for whatever you want to believe.

Zambia was on their way to beat the US and Soviet Union in the space race

October 30, 1964, TIME magazine reported on the celebration of the independence of Zambia (formerly Northern Rhodesia), with its new president, Kenneth Kaunda.

But as jubilant crowds celebrated, a man complained that the festivities were interfering with his “space program”. Edward Makuka Nkoloso informed the journalist that his Zambian TIME “astronauts” beat both the US and the Soviet Union in the space race – by going to the moon and on Mars.

It was an unusual boast, to say the least. At the time, the population of Zambia had 3.6 million with only 1500 high school graduates born in Africa and less than 100 college graduates. Nkoloso himself was a teacher of elementary school science, and self-proclaimed head of the country (the unofficial) National Academy of Sciences, Space Research and philosophy.

But he had big dreams, namely, using a “firing system” inspired catapult to send an aluminum 10 x 6 and copper rocket containing ten Zambians and an African girl of 17 years (and his cat ) to Mars. He thought he could get them to the moon in 1965. All he needed $ 700 million UNESCO to finance the project.

In an editorial the newspaper said Nkoloso studying Mars for some time telescopes to his “secret headquarters” outside Lusaka, and announced that the planet was populated by primitive natives. (He graciously added that the missionaries would not force indigenous Martians to convert to Christianity.) In fact, he said, it could have achieved the conquest of March just a few days after the independence of Zambia had the UNESCO through financing. Oh, he also called for the holding of Russian and American spies trying to steal his “space secrets” – and her cats.

It’s hard not to love Nkoloso, based on what little we know of it today. Here are a primary school science teacher setting up its own national space program with a small group of students who had to roll downhill in an oil drum of 44 gallons in the context of Nkoloso plan to simulate sensation of rushing through space. zero gravity? He simulated by pivoting them from the end of a long rope, cut the rope when they reached then the culmination they went into free fall. He also taught them to walk on their hands, “the only human so could walk on the moon. ”

Naïve? Ignorant? Sure. Especially in light of its less dedicated volunteers: “They are not going to focus on the space flight, there is too much to make love when they should study the Moon,” he complained. Indeed, astronaut girl vaunted Matha, became pregnant and her parents took her back to their village.

Astronauts could never Nkoloso Mars. Or the moon. Or even Lusaka. The Zambian government has carefully distanced himself from the project. Today, the US is the only country to have successfully landed a spacecraft on Mars, and yet has spearheaded a manned mission to the red planet. But while Nkoloso maybe a little crazy, he clearly pinpointed the future space travel would be a big deal. Zambia and wanted to be a part of it.

Vintage Ads Predict The Future – Retro-Futurism images

During the New York World’s Fair in 1964, science fiction writer Isaac Asimov made predictions about what the world would be like 50 years later, which were published in The New York Times. By reading them today, you can see that the author managed to predict almost all modern technological achievements!

Predict the Future

According to Asimov, half of the electricity in 2014 will be produced by nuclear power plants, and solar plants will operate in the vast deserts of Arizona and Kazakhstan. The connection will be based on satellites and the spacecraft will successfully reach Mars.

Predict the Future

Actually, they were fantasies of Asimov, who confirmed that the phones will become mobile and pocket and that their screens will allow us to read books and see the photos.

Predict the Future

The technical devices will work without wires, and long-lasting or rechargeable batteries will be used instead.

Predict the Future

The films will be screened in three-dimensional form and the time to cook food and do boring household chores will be significantly reduced thanks to appliances with automatic timers: toasters, ovens, coffee makers, etc.

Predict the Future

According to Asimov, the view of the city of 2014 will change: some buildings and a large part of the urban area will be underground because in this way it will be possible to save energy to heat homes in the winter and cool the weather. Summer (Today there are underground garages and full shopping centers!). On the surface there will be parks, gardens and even grazing animals.

Predict the Future+

The means of transport, in accordance with the provisions of the writer, will cease to come into contact with the road, but will fly over the ground at a height of approximately one meter. River and sea vessels will slide over the water and the speed will increase significantly.

Predict the Future

In addition, Asimov predicted that in 2014 the population of the Earth will increase to 6,500 million and that 350 million people will live in the United States (on June 1, 2013, the United States registered 316 million). Population growth will force humanity to seek new food resources in the Arctic and deserts. For example, microorganisms that will transform yeasts and algae into nutritious foods will be used.

Predict the Future

According to the author’s forecasts, the main problem of humanity in 2014 will be as strange as it seems: boredom! For this reason, psychology will be incredibly developed and psychotherapists will have great prestige.

Predict the Future

There may be an ancient Earth inside the Earth

A team of scientists at Harvard University believes they have found evidence that there is an ancient Earth within our planet. The team believes that a previously unexplained isotopic relationship from deep within the Earth could be a signal of the material before our world collided with another body the size of a planet, which led to the creation of the Moon. This could be an echo of an ancient Earth that existed 4,500 million years ago, before the proposed collision.

The current favored theory says that the Moon was formed 4.5 billion years ago when the Earth collided with a mass the size of Mars, nicknamed “Theia”. This theory states that the heat generated by the collision would have melted the entire planet before some of the debris splintered to create the Moon.

But now, the Harvard team, led by Associate Professor Sujoy Mukhopadhyay, believes they have found evidence that only part of the Earth melted and that an old part still exists within the mantle of the planet.

According to Professor Mukhopadhyay: “The energy released by the impact between Earth and Theia would have been enormous, certainly enough to melt the entire planet. But we believe that the impact energy was not distributed evenly throughout the ancient Earth. This means that a large part of the impacted hemisphere would probably have vaporized completely, but the opposite hemisphere would have been partially protected, and would not have completely melted. ”

The team analyzed the proportions of noble gas isotopes from deep within the Earth’s mantle and compared the results with the isotope ratios closest to the surface. They found that the ratio of 3He to 22Ne from the shallow mantle is significantly higher than the equivalent ratio within the mantle.
second earth
Professor Mukhopadhyay commented: “This implies that the last giant impact did not completely mix the mantle and there was not an entire ocean mantle of magma.”

More evidence comes from the analysis of the relationship of 129-Xenon to 120-Xenon. The material that reaches the surface from the deep mantle has a lower proportion than is normally found near the surface. Because 129-xenon is produced by the radioactive decay of 129-iodine, the isotopes locate the age of formation of the ancient mantle section within the first 100 million years of Earth’s history.

“The geochemistry indicates that there are differences between the isotope ratios of noble gases in different parts of the planet, and these must be explained. The idea that a very disruptive collision of the Earth with another body the size of a planet, the largest event in the geological history of our planet, was not completely fused and homogenized, challenges some of our notions about the formation of planets and the energy of giant impacts. “If the theory is correct, we may be seeing echoes of the ancient Earth, from a moment before the collision,” said Professor Mukhopadhyay.