Tagged: President of the United States

North Korea Published a Letter From “Abraham Lincoln” to Obama

It’s common for the North to throw operatic insults at the military and diplomatic skill of both South Korea and the US. In April 2016, they went one step further, conjuring a letter from deceased 16th president Abraham Lincoln to President Obama. The “Lincoln letter – “dvice from Lincoln to Obama” was published on the internal state-run website DPRK Today, and was titled “Advice from Lincoln to Obama.”

Concern trolling Obama by saying that it looks like he has “a lot on his mind,” the letter scolds him and the US for not reducing their nuclear weapons stockpile, while simultaneously demanding the DPRK reduce theirs. “Lincoln” even throws himself under the bus, saying the American people won’t stand to be deceived the way he did back in the day.

“Hi there, Obama,” begins the letter in a guess-who’s-back-motherfucker kind of way. “I understand how perplexed you must feel nowadays, but I think this is the time for you to gather your thoughts as a president of a nation.”

In the letter, Lincoln derides Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize-winning push to build a nuclear-free world by questioning why the United States has not taken the initiative to scale back its nuclear arsenal first, even as it asks countries such as North Korea to scrap their atomic programs.

“If the United States, a country with the world’s largest nuclear weapons stockpile, only pays lip service, like a parrot, and doesn’t do anything actively, it will be a mockery to the entire world,” the letter has Lincoln say.

Although the fake Lincoln criticizes Obama, the North doesn’t portray the late president as a good leader.

Powerball numbers – Lottery Jokes

Powerball
Interviewer: “Congratulations on winning the $1 billion dollar Powerball lottery.”

Farmer: “Thank you.”

Interviewer: “Do you have any special plans for spending all of that money?”

Farmer: “Nope. Not really. I’m just going to buy some more farmland and keep farming until the lottery money is all gone.”

Blonde
A blonde wanted to win the lotto so she prayed to god, and she lost.
Next week she prayed to god again, and she lost.
The week after she prayed to god, and she lost.
She said to god, why wont you let me win?
God actually replied, How about buying a ticket first?

Financial Trouble
Bhojali finds himself in dire trouble.His business has gone bust and he’s in serious financial trouble. He’s so desperate that he decides to ask Ganesh for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray.”Oh Ganesh,please help me,I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, im going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery.”Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.Bohjaji goes back to the temple. “Ganesh please let me win the lotto. I’ve lost my business, my house and I’m going to lose my car as well.” Lotto night comes Bholaji still has no luck.Back to the temple he goes. “My Ganesh,why have you forsaken me.? I’ve lost my business, my house, my car and my wife children are starving.I don’t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servent to you. Why wont you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life in order?”Suddenly there is a binding flash of li ght as the sky parts open and Bholaji is confronted by the voice of God.”Bholaji, buy a lottery ticket first.

What’s the difference between a man arguing with his wife and a man with a lottery ticket?
The man with a lottery ticket actually has a chance to win.

Did you hear about the new $5 million dollar Kentucky State Lottery?
The winner gets $5 for a million years.

The quickest way to double your money playing the lottery is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

Why did the pig buy a Powerball ticket?
He wanted to be filthy Rich.

How does a yak win the Mega Millions lottery?
By winning the yak-pot.

What does a blonde and an instant win scratch lottery ticket have in common?
Simply scratch the box to win.

The Powerball: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Chuck Norris won the Powerball jackpot with a Mega Millions ticket.

If Mitt Romney ever becomes President, I’m guessing his secret service codename will be Mega Millions

The sad thing is I have a better chance of winning the lottery, than my boss giving me a holiday bonus.

Poor people don’t believe in anything except the lord and the lottery.

The chances of you dying on the way to get a lottery ticket is greater than you actually winning it.

Is you mom the lottery lady on TV? Because I’m picturing her holding up my balls.

Movie Rambo is Based on a Real Story

Films based on novels are by no means a rarity, but many people don’t realize that First Blood, the first film of the Rambo series, is one of them. Written by David Morrell in 1972, First Blood was generally very well received, and the film rights were sold that same year. The fact that it took ten years to get from page to screen was due to a constant cycle of re-writing and re-selling, and the rights passed through multiple studios and re-writes until it was finally brought to life in 1982.

The film studio behind the movie, Lionsgate, confirmed that the last chapter of the Rambo (Rambo 5) series will hit theaters later this year.
September 20, 2019

As is so often the case, the film adaptation ended up very different from the original novel. As well as changing several characters and minor points, the entire focus of the novel shifted by the time it got into production. The book involves a much more depressing ending, as pretty much everybody dies.
Sylvester Stallone rose to fame as the writer and lead of the Academy Award-winning boxing film Rocky
Major inspiration for the character of Rambo himself was a real-life war hero Audie Murphy. Murphy was a decorated hero of World War II, receiving five medals for heroism from France and one from Belgium, as well as thirteen medals of valor from the US Army. Murphy also won the Medal of Honor at the age of nineteen for single handedly holding his position against enemy soldiers before counterattacking while wounded. His incredible skills in war weren’t the only inspiration, though. Sadly Murphy returned home with severe PTSD, and turned to drugs and alcohol to cope.

Rambo movies so far

FilmU.S. release dateDirector(s)
First BloodOctober 22, 1982Ted Kotcheff
Rambo: First Blood Part IIMay 22, 1985George P. Cosmatos
Rambo IIIMay 25, 1988Peter MacDonald
RamboJanuary 25, 2008Sylvester Stallone

Spelling Bee Jokes and Puns

A child was competing in a spelling bee and was doing quite well, until the moderator said: “your word is ‘inward’ “….
Spelling bee contestant: “N-I-G-G…”
Moderator: “Jesus no, stop please! ”

Q: Is there a word in the English language that uses all the vowels including “y” ?
A: Unquestionablely!

Q: What is the longest word in the English language?
A: Smiles. (There is a mile between the first letter and the last letter.)

Spell ICUP

Spell pig backwards and say lemonade

Matt: are you smart?
Brad: Yes.
Matt: spell it.
Brad: s-m-a-r-t
Matt: No, i said spell “it”

Q: Why are t and m the most unused letters in the alphabet
A: MT (empty)

Q: How do you spell mousetrap?
A: C-A-T.

What ten letter word starts with g-a-s?
Automobile.

Can you spell a pretty girl with two letters?
QT

Q: “What letter of the alphabet has got lots of water?”
A: “The C”

Q: “What letter of the alphabet is always waiting in order?”
A: “The Q. (queue)

Q: What begins with T, ends with T and has T in it?
A: A teapot.

Q: When I was young there was only 25 letters in the Alphabet?
A: Nobody new why.

Q: What is heavy forward but not backward?
A: Ton.

A boy is at a spelling bee.
Judge: “Your word is ‘buffering’.”
Boy: “Let me know when it’s loaded.”
Judge: “It’s not ‘loaded’. It’s ‘buffering’.”
Boy: “No problem, just tell me when…”
Judge: “Buffering!”
Boy: “Oh, OK…”
Judge: “No, it’s actually B-U-F-F-E-R-I-N-G.”

Q: Which letters do Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday have in common?
A: None! None of them have “c”, “o”,”m” or “n” in them.

Q: How do you make seven even?
A: Remove the ‘s’

Q: Why can’t you find the letter X in Church?
A: Because it was X-communicated.

Q: What’s the difference between here and there?
A: The letter T.

Can your moms name with two letters?
EZ.

How can you spell too much with two letters?
XS

I know 25 letters in the alphabet I don’t know Y.

Q: What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
A: Short

Q: What is the most important thing a witch needs to learn in school?
A: Spelling.

Q: What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
A: Rubber-band — because it streches.

Q: What is at the end of the world?
A: The letter ‘d’

Can you spell eighty in two letters?
A-T.

The Simpsons made a bunch of great predictions

    • In 1997, The Simpsons had an episode where Lisa showed a magazine with what looked like a terrible event that would happen 4 years later.
    • One bully was texting another in The Simpsons to “Beat up Martin” on their Newton, a person assistant made by Apple in the 90s. Instead, it messes up and sent “Eat up Martha”. This was a prediction of the autocorrect problem Apple would later have.
    • An episode in 1995 had Lisa talking to Marge through a video chat on her phone. FaceTime was created 15 years later.

Bart Simpson

  • In “Treehouse of Horror XIX” (2008), Homer tries voting for presidential candidate Barack Obama, but the machine switches to John McCain. 4 years later, a machine had been reported to switch the vote from Obama to Mitt Romney.
  • After Homer and his family escaped Springfield in “The Simpsons Movie” (which came out in 2007), the NSA started listening in on their conversations. This is eerily close to what Edward Snowden discovered in 2013.
  • Marge once read the most depressing book ever to Bart: “Curious George and the Ebola Virus”. All the way back in 1997. Wow.