The hotels of their way to please their customers. This is normally ideal for clients, but can leave a little confused when they go beyond their language boundaries.
The following is a list of some funny signs hotel abroad that have been mistranslated.
- Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
- Please to bathe inside the tub.
- You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
- Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
- Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviors in bed.
- Depositing the room key into another person is prohibited.
- Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
- Berlin cloakroom: Please hang yourself here.
- It is our intention to pleasure you every day.
- Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
- In order to prevent shoes from mislaying, please don’t corridor them. The management cannot be held.
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
- Please leave your values at the front desk.
- Name of a hotel in Lectoure: Hotel de Bastard.
- Wondering what to wear? A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but no trousers.
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
- To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
- The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
- Across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursdays.
- If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.
- Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
- Special today – no ice cream.
- We have nice bath and are very good in bed.
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Please do not bring solicitors into your room.
- A Dictionary for Women – “saying what you mean” and “meaning what you say”
- Too much masturbation! Concern about the dangers of masturbation was not the sole remit of the Victorians
- Celebrating fertility and the “power” of the penis – This is also called Shinto fertility festival
- Included with the package of complimentary wares in a Chinese hotel was a pair of workout shorts marked: Uncomplimentary pants.
- Good apperance please no watermelon please.
- Choose twin bed or marriage size; we regret no King Kong size.
- Measles not included in room charge.
- This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.
- Please dial 7 to retrieve your auto from the garbage.
- Suggestive views from every window.
- If service is required, give two strokes to the maid and three to the waiter. It is kindly requested from our guests that they avoid dirting and doing rumours in the rooms. Hot and cold water running up and down the stairs.
Instructions in case of fire: If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.
To call room service, please open door and call Room Service. Please call quiet, people may sleep.
A strong trunk is at your disposal on the reception of the hotel.
- We highly recommend the hotel tart.
- Take Discotheque with or without date, in summer plus open air bonging bar
- (Canary Islands) If you telephone for room service you will get the answer you deserve.
Please do not use the lift when it is not working.
No entries in upper clothes
Flying water in all rooms. You may bask in sun on patio
Take care of burglars
No spiting on the walls
South Park Sayings South Park Quotes, South Park Quotations. Sayings and One-liners from popular TV show.
And now Best from South Park
Eric Cartman: Hippies. They’re everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.
Stan: Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly.
Cartman: Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise.
Chef: You know what they say: You can’t teach a gay dog straight tricks.
Stan: You know, I think that if parents would spend less time worrying about what their kids watch on TV and more time worrying about what’s going on in their kids’ lives, this world would be a much better place.
Kyle: I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.
The level at which South Park takes it’s detail is ridiculous , look at he audience
Satan: Without evil there could be no good, so it must be good to be evil sometimes.
Benjamin Franklin: I believe that if we are to form a new country, we cannot be a country that appears war-hungry and violent to the rest of the world. However, we also cannot be a country that appears weak and unwilling to fight, to the rest of the world. So, what if we form a country that appears to want both.
Thomas Jefferson: Yes, yes of course, we go to war and protest going to war at the same time….
Benjamin Franklin: And that means that as a nation, we could go to war with whomever we wished, but at the same time act like we didn’t want to. If we allow the people to protest what the government does, then the country will be forever blameless.
John Adams: It’s like having your cake and eating it too.
Anonymous Hick Redneck Founding Father: Think of it: an entire nation founded on saying one thing and doing another.
John Hancock: And we will call that country the United States of America.
Eric Cartman: Stan, don’t you know the first law of physics? Anything that’s fun costs at least eight dollars.
Chef: Don’t do drugs kids. There is a time and place for everything. It’s called college.
Kyle: Dude, Cartman, look! Your mom is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine.
Kyle: The fat bitch won’t let us.
Bus Driver: What did you say!?
Kyle: I said rabbits eat lettuce.
Sportscaster Frank: I haven’t seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant!
Sportscaster Frank: I haven’t seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938!
Cartman: Mom–Kitty is being a dildo.
Mrs. Cartman: Well, I know a little kitty who is sleeping with Mommy tonight.
Kyle: Kick the baby!
Ike: Don’t kick the goddamn’ baby.
Terrance: I have good news and bad news for you. The good news is that you’re perfectly healthy. The bad news is that you have cancer.
Stan’s Mom: Stan, what did I tell you about watching the Osbournes? It’s going to make you retarded!
Cartman (on a goat sent to him and his friends by some kids in Afghanistan): It’s an Afghanistan goat, so it can’t stay here, or else it’ll choke on the sweet air of freedom.
Stan: I don’t want to shoot the bunny.
Uncle Jimbo: No nephew of mine is going to be a tree hugger.
Cartman: Yeah, hippie. Go back to Woodstock if you don’t want to shoot anything.
Other Mom: Can Eric spend the night?
Mrs. Cartman: No, I’m sorry, Eric is grounded for trying to exterminate the Jews last week.
Mr. Garrison: No, that’s wrong, Cartman. But don’t worry. There are no stupid answers, just stupid people.
Mr. Garrison: Gay people, well, gay people are EVIL. Evil right down to their cold black hearts which pump not blood like yours or mine, but rather–a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains; which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?
Eric Cartman: Attention shoppers! Outside today, we have a cripple fight. Cripple fight, outside!
Uncle Jimbo: Hell, everything’s legal in Mexico. It’s the American way!
Mr Garrison: Genetic engineering is man’s way of correcting God’s hideous mistakes, like German people.
Eric Cartman: I hate hippies! I mean, the way they always talk about ‘protectin’ the earth’ and then drive around in cars that get poor gas mileage and wear those stupid bracelets – I hate ’em! I wanna kick ’em in the nuts!
Mr. Garrison: Who was in charge of the feminist movement of the early ’60’s?
Cartman: A bunch of fat old skanks on their periods.
Mr. Garrison: Right. But who was the fattest, oldest skank on her period?
Eric Cartman: Well, I looked in my mom’s closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an UltraVibe Pleasure 2000.
Teacher: Kyle, concentrate!!!
Cartman: Maybe he should be sent to a concentration camp.