Tagged: China

Empire News – Parent Company of Corona Beer Sues China Over Bad Press During Their Coronavirus Scare

MEXICO CITY, Mexico – 

Anheuser-Busch InBev, the parent company of Corona brands of beer, has announced they are filing suit against the Chinese government, after the massive Coronavirus scare in that country has caused a mass panic and multiple deaths. AB InBev claims that the bad press of deaths, mixed with the satiric natures of internet memes connecting “coronavirus” with Corona beers has caused them a loss of tens of millions of dollars.

“Anheuser-Busch InBev feels that the Chinese government is solely responsible for putting the bad taste in people’s mouths regarding the name Corona,” said AB InBev spokesman Rick Barker. “The lack of their medical care, the lack of their preparation, has lead to a massive outbreak of the Coronavirus in China, and as such, has lead to a massive souring of our brand here in the United States.”

The lawsuit, which claims nearly $200 million in damages, was filed in a superior court in Beijing, and names several specific government officials and medical personnel.

“While Corona beer has never been particularly popular in the United States with anyone, outside of those who hate the taste of good beer so prefer swill that you have to add fruit to in order to drink it, but that’s not the point,” said Barker. “We are already feeling the pinch of this Coronavirus, and sales figures are dwindling daily. It’s only a matter of time before the connection becomes a total mixture of truth and reality, and people stop drinking Coronas all together because they think they’ll get sick from it. They will, but that’s because it’s garbage beer, not because it’s got any virus in it.”

You Tube star PewDiePie is banned in China – He spoke about the Hong Kong protests and mocked Xi Jinping

PewDiePie is welcomed into a new club: The creators and celebrities banned from China.

PewDiePie, YouTube blogger with over 100 million subscribers worldwide, has been banned in China, joining South Park Comedy Central and the German DJ Zedd on a recent list and more and more artists and commentators to encounter Chinese authorities since an executive Houston Rockets expressed support for Hong Kong rebels and a firestorm ignited.

[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HehfOtRbUk[/embedyt]

The star of the Swedish social media shared the news that its contents would be more accessible in China and explained why the drastic action was taken against him in a YouTube video.

via GIPHY

“Well boys, we did. I’m banned in China. That is true. After speaking Hong Kong protests and showed their leader to be fun to look like Winnie the Pooh, I’m banned in China “, he said the video. Winnie the Pooh has been banned in China since 2017 after the character has been compared to Xi by memes.

The ban was a tower planned for the YouTube star who said he is well aware of the censorship t0 linked to everything that Hong Kong protests, but chose to do the mocking video. He stressed that DJ Zedd was recently forbidden and after taste of a tweet by South Park (the show is also prohibited).

“It is obvious that China is like a person on Twitter who can not take any criticism and just steps everyone,” said PewDiePie in the video that was banned him.


PewDiePie also explained that anyone who search his name in the country on the sites will be achieved with empty results. He also took a moment to apologize to his Chinese fans who can not access its contents.

“I’m laughing, but yes, I am sorry if you are in China, and try to watch my videos. That kind of sucks. It’s just a little funny “, PewDiePie said.

He jokingly responded to the ban on Twitter by posting a photo of a wall that had been drilled through. “You just im banned in China. holy shit sucks so hard guy “, he wrote.

Funny hotel mistranslations from around the world – hilarious translation blunders

The hotels of their way to please their customers. This is normally ideal for clients, but can leave a little confused when they go beyond their language boundaries.

The following is a list of some funny signs hotel abroad that have been mistranslated.

 

Japan

  • Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
  • Please to bathe inside the tub.
  • You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
  • Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
  • Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviors in bed.
  • Depositing the room key into another person is prohibited.

Germany

  • Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
  • Berlin cloakroom: Please hang yourself here.
  • It is our intention to pleasure you every day.

Greece

  • Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
  • In order to prevent shoes from mislaying, please don’t corridor them. The management cannot be held.

Austria

In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

France

  • Please leave your values at the front desk.
  • Name of a hotel in Lectoure: Hotel de Bastard.
  • Wondering what to wear? A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but no trousers.

Romania

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

Serbia

  • To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
  • The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

Russia

  • Across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursdays.
  • If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

Poland

On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.

Switzerland

  • Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
  • Special today – no ice cream.
  • We have nice bath and are very good in bed.

Mexico

The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

Thailand

Please do not bring solicitors into your room.

China

  • Included with the package of complimentary wares in a Chinese hotel was a pair of workout shorts marked: Uncomplimentary pants.
  • Good apperance please no watermelon please.

South Korea

  • Choose twin bed or marriage size; we regret no King Kong size.
  • Measles not included in room charge.

Italy

  • This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.
  • Please dial 7 to retrieve your auto from the garbage.
  • Suggestive views from every window.
  • If service is required, give two strokes to the maid and three to the waiter. It is kindly requested from our guests that they avoid dirting and doing rumours in the rooms. Hot and cold water running up and down the stairs.

Finland

Instructions in case of fire: If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.

Ethiopia

To call room service, please open door and call Room Service. Please call quiet, people may sleep.

Morocco

A strong trunk is at your disposal on the reception of the hotel.

Spain

  • We highly recommend the hotel tart.
  • Take Discotheque with or without date, in summer plus open air bonging bar
  • (Canary Islands) If you telephone for room service you will get the answer you deserve.

Qatar

Please do not use the lift when it is not working.

Kyrgyzstan

No entries in upper clothes

Turkey

Flying water in all rooms. You may bask in sun on patio

Denmark

Take care of burglars

India

No spiting on the walls

South Park Has Been Banned In China For Their Joke

Always count on South Park to take the biggest stock they can find to the biggest wasp nest they can see…if your pissing people off, you know they are listening!

South Park recently released an episode called “Band in China.” Criticism comes in many shapes and sizes. And, as time travel, forms more to develop. South Park so, the adult animated series on the theme covering 23 seasons is one of the most unique ways to express criticism, namely the critique of pop culture, politics, and a host of other topics in the form of satire and dark humor surreal. However, the criticism, but a healthy thing, tends to feel unpleasant or, in some cases, offensive and even if it is portrayed in unorthodox ways mentioned above. Which is why South Park is in the news today.

In the show, the actors Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Kenny and form a successful metal band and try to become large in China. Unfortunately, they have to adapt their music to be up to the standards and requirements of the Chinese government.

With the Chinese authorities constantly on their shoulders, they eventually get fed and decide it is not worth living in a world where art is controlled by the Chinese government.

Moreover, the episode contains a subplot with Randy, the father of one of the protagonists travel to China to develop its marijuana business. China has strict laws on drugs, so he detained and sent to a prison camp. There he meets Winnie the Poo who was jailed for research as general secretary of China.

[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6DI6XuvCwE[/embedyt]
That prompted a response against the official Twitter account of South Park in the old South Park fashion:

A Starbucks Coffee on Every Corner

There are over 28,000 Starbucks locations in more than 78 countries, including Wales, which we’re pretty sure isn’t a country. During a particularly heady period in the late 1990s and early aughts, Starbucks was opening a new store every workday.

starbucks coffee

twalmedia / Pixabay

In 2008 and 2009, as millions of Starbucks customers lost their latte money — and their homes, cars and first born children — to the recession, the coffee giant was forced to shrink just a tad. It closed 771 stores worldwide and has plans to close a couple hundred more. Australia was particularly hard-hit, losing 61 of its 84 Starbucks in July 2008. At least they still have giant beer and koalas.

But before you start feeling sorry for the Seattle-based mega-company, consider this statistic gathered by Harper’s magazine in 2002, confirming the nagging suspicion that Starbucks is stalking you: 68 of Manhattan’s 124 Starbucks are located within two blocks (!) of another Starbucks.

In 2018, Starbucks expanded its partnership with Uber Eats to bring its beverages to U.S. customers’ doorsteps, as it had already done for some time in China

Dumbest 911 Calls They’ve Ever Received

  • The unidentified woman was stationed in a Walgreen store in Kissimmee. “My car does not start, I’m locked inside my car,” said the unidentified woman. “Nothing works with electricity, and it’s very hot here and I do not feel well.” The dispatcher then suggested lifting the lock. The woman tried and managed to open the door successfully.
  • John Triplette, a 45-year-old unemployed, was accused of abusing the 911 emergency line: he made more than 27,000 calls to 911.
    The police say he was a lonely man who would call the dispatchers for company, sometimes hundreds of times a day. It would also make several noises, including grunts and other bodily noises, minimal conversations with a disguised voice, beeps from the touch pad, etc. The prank calls to 911 were made from a T-Mobile cell phone that led to his arrest after the police tracked the signal on his cell phone. The police said they apologized for the calls. He said he did them “because they were free.” He faces a $ 1,000 fine and / or six months in jail.
  • Angry because her local McDonald’s was outside of Chicken McNuggets, a Florida woman called 911 three times to report on the “emergency” of fast food. Latreasa Goodman, 27, called the police to complain that a cashier would not give her a refund. When the cops responded to the restaurant, Goodman told them, “This is an emergency, if I had known they did not have McNuggets, I would not have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I do not want one.” She was arrested and the police filed charges for misuse of the 911 system.
  • A frustrated German housewife called the police because her husband did not stop watching porn movies. The 44-year-old woman from Aachen dialed the emergency police number and told the dispatcher in a weeping voice that there was an emergency. But when the agents arrived on the scene, they found her walking around the apartment while her husband, 46, sat in front of the television watching a blue movie. However, she was told that there was nothing the police could do in such a case, but she referred her to a counselor to help her.
  • A 4-year-old boy named Johnny decided to call 911 when he needed help with his math homework. Surprisingly, the dispatcher really helped; The video is a must.
  • A woman called 911 to report that she did not have as many shrimp as she wanted in her fried rice at a restaurant in the Fort Worth area. The angry customer told the dispatcher: “to bring a police officer here, what has to happen?” The client also said: “He did not even put extra shrimp there.” The annoying customer was gone when an officer arrived the next day. Restaurant workers said the woman had been denied a refund after she left with her order, and then returned to complain. The cook said there was nothing wrong with the food.
  • A woman called the local 911 in China after her boyfriend refused to warm his cold feet. Police officer Xiao Deng of Ningbo received two consecutive calls, one from the woman who complained that her boyfriend refused to warm her feet, the other from the man who said his girlfriend was too demanding. Deng went to the rental apartment, near the University of Ningbo, to try to solve the problem, but found the couple still rowing. Finally, he persuaded the boyfriend that it was a man’s job to warm his girlfriend’s feet, but he told the woman not to leave his feet there for long. The young couple put aside their differences and thanked him for coming out to solve his problem.
  • A man in Beaverton, Oregon, called 911 when a nightclub refused to let him in. Employees at the nightclub “The Caribe” in Beaverton said they did not let in Edgar Dieguez-López because he was too intoxicated. Dieguez-Lopez then called 911 and complained to the dispatchers that he had been denied entry. The dispatchers explained through a translator that the club has the right to refuse the service and they asked him to wait outside for the police. The officers responded to the club and found cocaine inside one of Dieguez-López’s socks. He was arrested on drug charges.

One child policy in China

In late 1970s, due to the widespread poverty, then Chinese leader Deng Xiaoping viewed the Chinese population under his rule as a huge burden, instead of a productive force. A big decision was made overnight, by a few high-rank Chinese Communist Party (CCP) officials, that each Chinese couple can only have one child, in their entire lives.

The policy was firmly implemented with little mercy. At its peak, there was a competition among some Chinese counties on how tightly the local CCP leader could control his/her people, so that there would be no newborn baby at all — in the entire county (in China, each county typically has a half to 1 million people). The record was 100 days.

CCP members put out propaganda slogans in villages and towns: a single “redundant” baby, all neighbors tube-tied. So everyone has to spy his/her neighbors.
One child policy in China

Some young couples had the courage to escape from their home towns and managed to have more than 1 kids. They usually lived difficult lives. Pop songs and stand up comedy shows were mass-produced and widely broadcasted, under the direction of CCP Department of Propaganda, to encourage citizens to discriminate these “excessively fertile rogues”.

It was reported that 200,000,000 to 300,000,000 babies were “efficiently prevented” this way.

In November 2013, following the Third Plenum of the 18th Central Committee of the Chinese Communist Party, China announced the decision to relax the one-child policy. Under the new policy, families could have two children if one parent, rather than both parents, was an only child.

The truth? In the past 30 years, the ENTIRE China enjoyed a 50%-DINK structure, which greatly helped her economical growth — for this generation. But now, China is heading to a severely aging population, at a dangerous speed.

Stupid But Smart Questions? Why do I ask dumb questions?

1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?

2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the
center of the earth?

3. Why can’t woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
“hi, my name’s Bob. I’m an alcoholic”?

5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?

6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?

9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?

10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say
“I think i’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?

11. What do people in China call their good plates?

12. If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?stripers

13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They’re both dogs.

14. What do you call male ballerinas?

15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn’t
he buy his dinner?

17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?

18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables.
What is baby oil made from?

20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?

21. Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere,
yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad,
yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?