Game of Thrones – Best Insults
Tit for Tyrion’s Tat
Varys: “Cersei has offered a lordship to the man who brings her your head.”
Tyrion: “She ought to offer her c—t. Best part of her for the best part of me.”
S5E2, “The House of Black and White”
Uncurable Disease
Bronn: There’s no cure for being a cunt.
S2E4, “Garden of Bones”
The B Word
Ramsay: “I’ve been naturalized by a royal degree.”
Sansa: “By Tommen Baratheon? Another bastard.”
S5E7, “The Gift”
Conqueror Burn
Jaime: Three victories don’t make you a conqueror.
Robb: It’s better than three defeats.
S2E1, “The North Remembers”
Really?
Cersei: If it weren’t for my children, I would have thrown myself from the highest tower in the Red Keep. They’re the reason I’m alive.
Tyrion Lannister: Even Joffrey?
Back-Handed Compliment
Tyrion: “It’s easy to confuse what is with what ought to be, especially when what is has worked out in your favor.”
Hizdahr: “It’s an unpleasant question, but what great thing has ever been accomplished without killing or cruelty?”
Tyrion: “My father would have liked you.”
S5E9, “The Dance of Dragons”
Sisterhood
Cersei (to Margaery Tyrell): If you ever call me sister again, I’ll have you strangled in your sleep.
S2E8, “Second Sons”
Elder Slam
Shireen Baratheon to Gilly on reading: “I taught Ser Davos and old people are terrible at learning new things.”
S5E2, “The House of Black and White”
Teenagers
Daenerys drops some wisdom about her grown-ass dragons: “They will eat you if I tell them to. They may eat you even if I don’t. Children. Some say I should give up on them. But a good mother never gives up on her children. She disciplines them if she must. But she does not give up on them.”
A Grandfather’s Love
Walder Frey: My granddaughter, Waltha? Walra? Waldina.
Mary: I’m Mary.
Walder Frey: Fine.
S3E9, “The Rains of Castamere”
Old Gs
Olenna: “You should have the decency to stand when you speak to a lady.”
High Sparrow: “You should have the decency to kneel before the gods.”
Olenna: “Don’t spar with me, little fellow.”
Olenna: “Spare me the homilies, I can smell a fraud from a mile away.”
High Sparrow: “Useful talent.”
High Sparrow: “A lifetime of wealth and power has left you blind in one eye.”
S5E7, “The Gift”
Chores
Ser Jorah: Viserys could not sweep a stable with ten thousand brooms.
A Game of Thrones, Chapter 36 (Daenerys IV)
Whore’s Honor
Ser Rodrik: You have less honor than a back alley whore.
S2E6, “The Old Gods and the New”
Boredom
Jamie (to Brienne): Has anyone ever told you you’re as boring as you are ugly?
S2E8, “The Prince of Winterfell”
Pretty Colors
Sansa: Loras likes green and gold brocade.
Shae: I bet he does.
S3E6, “The Climb”
Needles
Arya: Sansa can have her sewing needles. I have a Needle of my own.
S1E2, “The Kingsroad”
Do You Have a Banner?
Tyrion to Varys: “We’ve already got a ruler. Everywhere’s already got a ruler. Every pile of shit on the side of every road has someone’s banner hanging from it.”
S5E2, “The House of Black and White”
