Star Wars Jokes : Might the Pressure be With You

sexy star wars costume

Star Wars Jokes Q & A

sexy star wars costume

Q: Why should not you ask Yoda for cash?
A: As a result of he is at all times somewhat quick
Q: What program do Jedi use to view PDF recordsdata?
A: Adobe Wan Kenobi
Q: What do you name a Mexican jedi?
A: Obi-Juan Kenobi
Q: What do you name the web site Chewbacca began that provides out Empire secrets and techniques?
A: Wookieeleaks
Q: What do you name a Jedi in denial?
A: Obi-Wan Can not Be
Q: The place does Princess Leia go purchasing for clothes?
A: On the Darth Maul
Q: Why did the indignant Jedi cross the highway?
A: To get to the Dark Side.
Q: What do you name stormtroopers enjoying Monopoly?
A: Sport of Clones
Q: What do you name Chewbacca when he has chocolate caught in his hair?
A: Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
Q: What do you name a Sith who will not battle?
A: A Sithy
Q: What do you name Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high
Q: Why did not Luke cross the highway?
A: As a result of he obtained a ticket for Skywalking.
Q: What do you name two suns combating one another?
A: Star Wars
Q: What do Star Destroyers put on to events?
A: A bow TIE.
Q: What’s a Jedi’s favourite toy?
A: A yo-yoda
Q: What music would Darth Vader sing if he have been a Disney character?
A: “When You Want Upon A Loss of life Star”
Q: Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?
A: Darth Waiter
Q: What do you name a pirate droid?
A: Arrrrr2-D2
Q: When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning in the direction of the darkish aspect?
A: Within the Sith Grade.
Q: Why do Docs make the most effective Jedi?
A: As a result of a Jedi should have endurance.
Q: How is Ducktape just like the Pressure?
A: It has a Darkish Aspect, a Gentle aspect and it binds the galaxy collectively
Q: What do you name potatoes which have turned to the Darkish aspect?
A: Vader Tots
Q: Which Star Wars character makes use of meat for a weapon as an alternative of a Lightsaber?
A: Obi Wan Baloney
Q: What did the rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?
A: Chewie!
Q: Why is a droid mechanic by no means lonely?
A: As a result of he is at all times making new associates!
Q: What do Gungans put issues in?
A: Jar Jars
Q: Why was yoda such a very good gardener?
A: He had a inexperienced thumb!
Q: What do you get for those who combine a fruit with a bounty hunter?
A: Mango Fett!
Q: What do you name an individual who brings a rancor its dinner?
A: The appetizer.
Q: What did Obi Wan say to Luke when he tried to eat bantha pie with a spoon?
A: “Use the FORK, Luke.”
Q: What do you get once you cross an elephant with Darth Vader?
A: An ele-Vader.
Q: What would you name Padme if she was a canine?
A: Petme Imadoggie.
Q: Why did Yoda go to Financial institution of America yesterday?
A: He wanted a financial institution clone!
Q: What do Whipids say once they kiss?
A: Ouch.
Q: What is the differance between an ATAT and a stormtrooper?
A: One’s an Imperial walker and the opposite is a strolling Imperial.
Q: How do you unlock doorways on Kashyyyk?
A: With a woo-key
Q: What’s Jabba the Hutt’s center title?
A: “The”
Q: Why did Padme Amidal hold her Boots on?
A: As a result of they have been too BOOT-iful!
Q: Why must you by no means inform jokes on the Falcon?
A: The ship may crack up.
Q: What time is it when an AT-AT steps in your chronometer?
A: Time to get a brand new chronometer.
Q: Why do Twi’leks wish to flip cash?
A: In order that they’ll say, “Heads or tails!”

The TRUE ending to “the Empire Strikes Again”:

A livid lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER in the direction of the tip of the gantry. A fast transfer by Vader, chops off Luke’s hand! It goes spinning off into the air flow shaft. Luke backs away. He seems to be round, however realizes there’s nowhere to go however straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan by no means instructed you what occurred to your father.

Luke: He instructed me sufficient! He instructed me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No… I’m your father!

Luke: No, it is not true! It is inconceivable.

Darth Vader: Search your emotions… you understand it to be true…

Luke: NO!

Darth Vader: Sure, it’s true.. and you understand what else? that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Sure… Threepio… I constructed him… once I was 7 years outdated…

Luke: No…

Darth Vader: Seven years outdated? And what have you ever executed? Have a look at your self, no hand, no job, and could not even levitate your personal ship out of the swamp…

Luke: I destroyed your valuable Loss of life Star!

Darth Vader: Whenever you have been 20! Once I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Commerce Federation Droid Management ship!

Luke: Effectively, it is not my fault…

Darth Vader: Oh, right here we go… “Poor me… my father by no means gave me what I needed for my birthday… boo hoo, my daddy’s the Darkish Lord of the Sith… waahhh wahhh!”

Luke: Shut up…

Darth Vader: You are a slacker! By the point I used to be you are age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 by means of Beggar’s Canyon!

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor… 10 years outdated, winner of the Boonta Eve Open… Solely human to ever fly a Pod Racer… proper right here child!

Luke seems to be down the shaft. Takes a step in the direction of it.

Darth Vader: I used to be incorrect… You are not my child… I do not know whose you’re, however you positive ain’t mine…

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.

Darth Vader takes care of him.

Darth Vader: Get a haircut!

 

Random Star Wars Jokes

What film have been you watching when your VW was recalled? Return of the Jetta.

Have been the deserts of Luke’s youth havens for physique artwork? Sure, there was numerous Tattoine.

Did the reptilian desert mobster apply his laptop programming expertise to renovate his house? Sure, he Java’d the Hut!

Why have been Han and Luke at all times after the princess? As a result of they thought she was fairly the Leia.

Which wookie was on the fast-track to mouth most cancers? Chewbacco.

Why was the feisty droid unstoppable? As a result of he was hard-to-de-tour (R2D2).

Why was Captain Calrissian so silly? As a result of he was from Clod Metropolis.

How did Yoda take care of tough, whining prospects when he labored at a gourmand espresso store? He mentioned “boo or boo not; there isn’t any chai!”

Are the inhabits of the Third Moon of Endor now cooking Japanese meals on-line? Sure, they’re utilizing their e-woks!

Which fishlike commander was disgusted at any time when he entered a tavern? Admiral ‘Ack, bar!’

Are you able to beat a Gungan at a staring contest? Sure, as a result of Jar Jar blinks!

Which Imperial commander was afraid of swimming? Darth Wader.

Store for Star Wars paraphernalia on the Darth Mall.

What did folks say when the Jedi master was victorious on the online game jujitsu tournamment? ‘Obi Received Shinobi!’

On Hoth did the Chinese language eating places serve tonton soup?

The IRS cracked down on the Jedi grasp as a result of he Yoda lotta cash.

The redneck bounty hunter was referred to as Bubba Fett.

Why may the insurgent house fleet not fly? They have been all ex-wings.

What do Jewish Star Wars followers play with? Droidles.

The foul black excretia of the Imperial presence was embodied within the Loss of life’s Tar.

Was 3CPO an early instance of a private robotic whore? Sure he was a proto call-droid!

Yoda by no means let Luke converse throughout his coaching – he needed to grasp the jedi mime tips.

Why did not they storm the empire’s base from the shadows? As a result of Yoda warned them in regards to the darkish aspect of the forts!

Which of Jabba’s henchmen made hundreds of thousands promoting licorice? Nib Fortuna.

The windshield of the Millenium Falcon was so small – they might barely obtain wiper-space!

Why did Mark Hamill’s profession fizzle? As a result of he was taken out by the star-destroyer.

Liam Neeson was not identified for his massive rear finish; in actual fact on set they referred to as him the Phantom Man-Ass.

How did the grey-haired jedi-nemesis threaten his victims? “I will Depend Dooku, then I will shoot.”

The queen’s handmaiden was self-conscious about her bosom – they jokingly referred to her as Padme.

The Gungan chief was into chasing tail and listening to Springsteen – they referred to as him Boss ‘n’ Ass.

Which insurgent pilot liked Tex-Mex potato skins? Wedge-and-chilies!

Which father of a bounty hunter was keen on tropical fruit events? Mango Fete!

Which Jedi chief cleaned his corn with ammonia spray? Maize Windex!

Which Imperial normal made out within the again seat? Gran Moff Parkin.

Hayden Christensen cannot act. They need to have renamed his character Model Skywalker!

Regardless of having drunk wine, the insurgent pilots have been cleared to fly. In any case, they’d only one Crimson Litre.

Which Naboo captain defecated in a pan? Captain Pankaka!

11 Indicators You Have Been Ready In Line Too Lengthy For Star Wars Tickets

 

11. That chick dressed as Princess Leia in entrance of you now qualifies as your”longest relationship with a lady.”

10. Cannot resist to induce to “unsheathe your lightsaber,” if you understand what I imply.

9. Bossman Vader instructed you to take your Jedi powers to the planet of unemployment.

8. We’re bombing who? What the hell is a Kosovo?

7. A fellow fan compliments you in your Chewbacca costume, however you are not sporting one.

6. When a reporter asks you why you are obsessing a few film when there is a warfare in Europe, you specific full confidence in President Reagan’s skill to deal with the state of affairs.

5. Your Boba Fett lunchbox is price $.45 greater than it was once you obtained to the theater.

4. The man subsequent to you is in line for “Episode II.”

3. Obi-Wan‘s ghost reveals as much as spritz you with Lysol.

2. The dude within the Wookie swimsuit is beginning to look fairly good to you.

and the No 1 Signal You have Been Ready on Line Too Lengthy For “Star Wars” Tickets…

1. Even your most loyal supporters are beginning to query your order to “Simply hold bombing Serbia till I get again.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.