Star Trek Humor : Finest Star Trek Jokes

Star trek
Star Trek

Q: What number of Klingons does it take to vary a lightbulb?
A: TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the opposite within the again and
take
all the credit score.

Q: What number of Klingons does it take to vary a lightbulb?
A: NONE: Klingons aren’t afraid of the darkish.

Q: What do the Klingons do with the useless bulb?
A: Execute it for failure.

Q: What do the Klingons do with the Klingon who replaces the bulb?
A: Execute him for cowardice.

Q: What number of Romulans does it take to screw in a light-weight bulb?
A: ONE HUNDRED FIFTY_ONE: One to screw the sunshine bulb in, and 150 to
self-destruct the ship out of shame.

Q: What number of Vulcans does it take to screw in a light-weight bulb?
A: Roughly 1.00000000000000000000000000000000

Q: What number of Borg does it take to vary a light-bulb?
A: All of them!

Q: What’s Captain Picards largest pet peeve?
A: Once they exchange his dilithium crystals with Folgers crystals.

Q: Why did the rooster cross the street?
A: James T. Kirk: To boldly go the place no rooster has gone earlier than.

Q: Why did the rooster cross the street?
A: Mr. Scott: ‘Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning correctly.
Ah canna work miracles, Captain.

Q: Why did the rooster cross the street?
A: Dr. McCoy: Dammit Jim!! I am a physician not an farmer!

Q: Why did the rooster cross the street?
A: Mr. Spock: Clearly, it was the logical factor to do.

Q: Why did the rooster cross the street?
A: Mr. Information: Why is a barn yard fowl crossing a thoroughfare humorous?

Q: Why did the rooster cross the street?
A: Mr. Worf: For the respect of all chickens.

Q: Why did the rooster cross the street?
A: Counsilor Troi: I knew it was going to occur. I may sense it.

Q: Why did the rooster cross the street?
A: Laptop: Inadequate data.

Q: Have you ever heard concerning the e book on Betazeds?
A: It is by: Ophelia Paine.

Q: Have you ever learn the e book “Go to Warp 9…”?
A: It is by: N. Gage

Q: Have you ever learn the e book “The Positronic Mind”?
A: It is by: Anne Droid

Q: Have you ever learn the e book “Rattling it Jim”?
A: It is by: Ima Physician and Nada Bricklayer.

Q: Have you ever learn the e book “Chekov: The Navigator”?
A: It is by: I. Kiptin

Q: What did one Borg say to 1 one other proper earlier than their ship was
destroyed in sector zero zero one?
A: Hoisted by our personal Picard.

Q: Did you hear concerning the new uniform making machine on the Enterprise?
A: Piccard instructed Riker to “Make it sew, Quantity One.”

Q: What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage?
A: A croaking system.

Q: Why do not the Borg go to jail?
A: As a result of they obey the Lore!

Q: Why did the Borg cross the street?
A: As a result of it assimilated the rooster!

Q: The place do the Borg eat quick meals?
A: At their native Borger King!

Dr. M’Benga was experimenting with cloning alien species. His first
experiment
was a catastrophe; the consequence was ugly and obscene. He determined to get rid
of it
by jettisoning it out of the hatch. Sadly, Captain Kirk noticed him
do it,
and now M’Benga is going through a cost of creating an obscene clone fall.

Spock, Spock.
Who’s there?
Epsilon.
Epsilon who?
Epsilon technique to Tipperary…

When the Melkotians beamed Kirk, Chekov, and McCoy all the way down to the
recreation of
the OK Corral, not one of the officers knew tips on how to use the old-style
six-guns.
You see, they got here from a time when no man had weapons earlier than.

Mr. Spock: “What’s system for PI?”
Chekov: “Er… apple or blueberry, sir?”

Then there was the time Janice Rand complained that somebody had minimize a
peephole
into her cabin door.
Captain Kirk promised to look into it.

Q: Why was Star Trek so profitable?
A: It had good Genes.

McCoy: “I’ve borrowed Mr. Scott’s bagpipes.”
Kirk: “However you may’t play them.”
McCoy: “Whereas I’ve received them, neither can he!”

Mr. Spock: ” A Syzygy is three heavenly our bodies lined up in a row. Give
me an
instance.”
Sulu: “Mudd’s Girls!”

The brand new ensign reported to sickbay for her bodily. When stripped, Dr.
McCoy
nodded approvingly. “You look good and trim. “Thanks,” she answered. “I
weigh
100 kilos stripped for gymnasium.”
McCoy shook his head. “That man has all of the luck!”

Q: How do you get a one-armed Klingon out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.

Q: Why cannot Klingon children play in sandboxes?
A: Cats preserve attempting to cowl them up.

Q: How did T’Pring’s dad and mom react once they realized she was not
marrying Spock?
A: They had been Stonned.

Q: What are eyeglasses referred to as on Vulcan?
A: Spocktacles

Mary Sue: “I simply received engaged to Kevin!”
Mary Jane: “Oh, actually?”
Mary Sue: “No, Riley.” (actually atrocious, ed.)

Q: What sort of noise is made my Vulcan popguns?
A: T’Pau (an atrocious “”basic””, ed.)

Q: Why did the Klingon cross the street?
A: To overcome the opposite aspect.

New crewwoman: “The place do I eat?”
Uhura: “You mess with the officers.”
New crewwoman: “I figured that, however the place do I eat?”

Q: What number of members of the USS Enterprise does it take to vary a
mild bulb?

A: Six: Scotty to get on the intercom when the sunshine goes out and say
“I canna do it, Cap’n! These bulbs are stoon useless”,
Spock to inform Kirk he’s continuing illogically,
McCoy to say “They’re useless, Jim!” and
“Dammit Jim-I am a physician not an electrician!!”,
Kirk to screw it in,
and two red-shirt safety males to die within the course of.

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