Size Does Matter

"Welcome to Burgerama may I take your order?"

"Yeah, give me a Double Cheeseburger combo to go."

"Would you like to super-size that for only 39 cents?"

"Sure."

"Would you like to extra-super-size that for another 39 cents?"

"Huh?"

"Would you like to extra-super-size your meal for 39 cents?"

"Didn’t I just do that?"

"No, you only super-sized it."

"There’s more?"

"For another 39 cents, you can get a 32 oz. soda and Mondo-sized fries."

"What am I getting now?"

"A 24 oz. Soda and Bigman-sized fries."

"24 oz.? That’s super-sized? That sounds like a medium."

"We don’t have mediums, sir."

"You don’t?"

"No, sir."

"How many sizes of sodas do you have?"

"We have 3."

"OK, give me a large."

"That’s only 16 oz."

"I thought it was 32 oz."

"That’s not the large."

"You have a size larger than a large?"

"It’s Mondo-sized!"

"Look, you have three sizes of drink. You have your smallest drink, your medium-sized drink, and your largest drink. Small, medium, large. Give me the large."

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"The large size is the small size."

"OK, then give me the small."

"We don’t have a small size."

"16 oz. seems pretty damn small to me."

"That’s the large."

"Look. I want the size of soda that will give me the greatest amount of actual liquid in the cup."

"We have large, Bigman and Mondo."

"Bigman is larger than Mondo?"

"No. Mondo’s the biggest."

"OK, give me a Mondo."

"Do you want Mondo fries?"

"Are they based on the same naming conventions as the sodas?"

"Yes, sir."

"Let me ask you this. If I ordered a simple Double Cheeseburger Combo, and super-sized it. What would I get?"

"One Double Cheeseburger, Bigman fries and a 24oz. Soda."

"And that’s super-sized?"

"Yes, sir."

"So a normal, everyday Double Cheeseburger Combo is, like, a kiddie’s meal?"

"No, the Children’s Special Value Meal comes with Bigman fries and a 24 oz. soda."

"The kiddie’s meal is bigger than the regular adult combo?"

"Uhm… yeah."

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"How much is it?"

"20 cents more than a regular combo."

"But it’s the same size as a super-sized combo, which is 39 cents more?"

"Yeah."

"Can I have a Kiddie’s meal?"

"You want a super-sized combo? Sure."

"No, I want the Kiddie’s meal, which is the same thing, but 19 cents less. Plus a coloring mat."

"You can’t have a Children’s Special Value Meal."

"Why not?"

"You’re an adult."

"So I have to spend more money?"

"…yes."

"Tell you what. Here’s a five-dollar bill. Why don’t you give me as much food as you can for this five dollar bill."

"Uhm.. OK. Do you want to super-size your order for another 39 cents?"

"Sure."

"OK. One moment."

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