RUMOR: Applebee’s Set to Unveil New Presto Pro Tableside Tablet With Nvidia DLSS and Raytracing

GLENDALE Calif. — According to a massive leak from within Applebee’s, the company is preparing to roll out a new “Pro” model of their popular Presto tableside tablets equipped with top-of-the-line Nvidia RTX GPUs, a custom AMD Ryzen-based processor, high resolution Samsung display panels, and a specialized version of the Nvidia RTX 3070 GPU.

“If what my source says is true, this is going to make Applebee’s the clear frontrunner for the next release cycle of fast casual restaurant experiences,” said casual dining expert Jeffery Schrader, who first reported the rumor via Twitter. “Rendering that menu in buttery 4K at 144 FPS with full raytraced global illumination… it’s going to be incredibly effective at enticing children to accidentally spend $1.99 by touching the tablet a single time.”

Nvidia did not respond when reached for comment, but sources within the company have confirmed that a large portion of RTX 3070 chips are being reserved for an unspecified neighborhood bar and grill.

“Something I think we’re not talking about enough is the cryptocurrency integration,” Schrader continued. “I have it on good authority that these tablets are going to be mining ApplebeeCoins during your whole meal. Those coins can be used to earn half price appetizers, $1 Bahama Mamas, and as a bonus feature the heat generated by the tablet can be used to keep your riblets at the perfect temperature: lukewarm.”

Applebee’s neither confirmed nor denied the rumor, but assured customers that the Presto tablet they know and love wouldn’t be going anywhere any time soon.

“We are always looking to provide the best family restaurant experience we can offer, and the Presto tableside tablet has been a vital part of that experience since 2014,” wrote the Applebee’s PR team. “While we don’t have anything to announce at this time, rest assured that we hear you. To our fans who are dreaming of being upsold on a Sizzlin’ Caramel Apple Blondie or a Triple Chocolate Meltdown in ultra-HD… Stay tuned!”

At press time, it was rumored that TGI Friday’s was close to finalizing a deal to acquire Belgian RPG developer Larian Studios, in order to develop an immersive and expansive Endless Apps experience. TGI Fridays and Larian Studios both declined to comment.

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