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Real Facts of Life
- Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.
- There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
- Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.
- Don’t worry about the world ending today… It’s already tomorrow in Australia. (unless you’re in Australia — then start worrying)
- Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.
- Drive carefully It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
- A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work..
- A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.
- Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
- The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
- There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
- If at first you don’t succeed … well, so much for sky diving.
- A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn’t understand two things: 1 — Women, 2 — Fractions
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