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Ranking the Jobs That LinkedIn Thinks I Can Do

CBS Vice President

Fairly lofty objective, very unrealistic, however I did take part within the TV membership throughout school. I additionally wished to be a journalist for like, half a semester, so I assume it has some type of accuracy. Large paycheck, larger flex, utterly not possible interview probability. This job is 4 cowl letters out of seven.

Truck Driver

LinkedIn apparently doesn’t know that I as soon as received a ticket for operating two stoplights in a row. I additionally don’t personal a automobile and haven’t pushed in over a yr. Sitting backward on trains makes me sick and sitting ahead behind the wheel is a demise sentence. I shouldn’t be driving anybody or something to any location. This job is one useless physique out of ten.

Freelance Content material Editor

That is remarkably near what my precise job is true now. Nevertheless, this one requires 7-10 years of expertise, and I don’t even know the way my firm makes cash. Not a clue. I feel it’s associated to promoting? Or advertising and marketing? Are these the identical factor? Each time I ask about it, somebody laughs. It’s not a joke. How do I earn a living? This job is 2 years of expertise out of 10, apparently.

Strategist, Influencer Advertising and marketing

What do any of those phrases imply, and moreover what do they imply after they’re subsequent to one another? My diploma was in English. Sure, it was silly however it already occurred. Hindsight is 20/20. I do not know find out how to strategize for advertising and marketing for influencers. I can’t even affect an algorithm. This job is 1,983 likes out of a trillion.

Comedy Central Social Media Editor

That is very good, I don’t even know what to say. I haven’t carried out in so lengthy! I don’t actually assume I’m that humorous, however I imply in the event you guys wanna hear my set about hairdryers…. This job is a decent 5 out of an hour.

Model Ambassador

That is by some means the one factor I’m overqualified for. I additionally do not know what this job really is. Lots of ladies I observe on Instagram have this of their bio. The model is simply boobs and large sneakers from what I can inform. One way or the other I can afford neither. I need what they’ve. This job is six ranges wrapped into one strategy to be your individual boss.

Dolphin Coach

At this level, I’d as effectively apply. I’ve seen photos of dolphins. They eat like… fish and bread I feel. Wait by no means thoughts, this calls for 2 years of pictures expertise. This job is 2 dolphin trainers who’re higher certified out of 1.


Alyssa Moore

Alyssa C. Moore is a author from Philadelphia or Pittsburgh, relying which she misses extra. She loves Twitter, comedy, overpriced espresso, and rejection emails (she will get a variety of them).

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