Papers Headlines in the Year 2035

  • Ozone created by electric cars and trucks now killing millions within the seventh largest country on earth, California.
  • White minorities continue to trying to have English known as the California’s third words.
  • Spotted Owl plague poises northwestern United States crops and even livestock.
  • Baby conceived normally… Scientists stumped.
  • Authentic yr 2000 “chad” sells from Sotheby’s for $4.a few million.
  • Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the Us Territory of the Middle Eastern (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.)
  • Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least twenty more years before radioactivity decreases to safe amounts.
  • Castro finally dies when he was 112; Cuban cigars quickly imported legally, but Director Chelsea Clinton has suspended all smoking.
  • George Z. Bush claims he will run for Director in 2036.
  • 35 yr study: diet and exercise is the key to help weight loss.
  • Texas executes final remaining citizen.
  • Upcoming AMERICAN FOOTBAL draft likely to focus on using mutants.
  • Average height connected with NBA players now being unfaithful feet, seven inches.
  • Microsoft announces it has perfected it is newest version of Microsoft windows so it crashes before unit installation is completed.
  • New federal legislation requires that all nail clippers, screw-drivers and baseball bats must be registered by Jan 2036.

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