Nurses And Midwives Reveal 51 Baby Names That They Tried To Talk The Parents Out Of

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For new parents, naming their baby can be both a blessing and, sometimes, a curse. You see, while most moms and dads have at least a rough idea of what name they’re going to register for their little miracle, some do struggle to come up with something original.

And this can be a daunting task when you keep in mind that on average, about 250 babies are born every minute—more than 130 million in a year. But can a baby name get a teeny tiny too original? Like, on the border of becoming something potentially troublesome and question-raising as the child is growing up?

Well, one redditor ought to have found out as they asked “Nurses and midwives of Reddit, have you ever tried to talk new parents out of a baby name? What was it?” on Ask Reddit. The answers started pouring in and they will be illuminating, to say the least. Take notes, parents, ‘cause there’s a fair reason you never ever want to give your baby a spin of the name Collin which is spelled “Colon.”

#1

My boss’s friend named their kid ‘Monster Galileo.’ The nurse tried to talk them out it, but they insisted. The kid goes by ‘Galileo.'”
“Honestly, I kind of like the sound of it for an adult or a performer’s name, but being a kid named ‘Monster’ has to be rough in school

Image credits: WeaselBit

#2

Not a nurse or a midwife but I had to talk a friend out of naming their daughter jkmnoworst baby names 23 605855fd4721f 700

Image credits: acallswell

#3

My classmate’s mother was a maternity nurse, and she once had a couple who wanted to name their son ‘Collin,’ but wanted to give him a unique spelling. So they chose to spell it C-O-L-O-N. They tried to name their son Colon — as in, the organ attached to your anus. When my classmate’s mother explained this to them, they were painfully embarrassed, and asked her to just use the usual spelling instead. I don’t think they’ll ever live it downworst baby names 1 60584f57bfc26 700

Image credits: Skippyist

#4

My husband wanted to name our son Truck . Almost ended in divorce. Needless to say, none of our boys are named Truck and we are still marriedworst baby names 26 6058568115656 700

Image credits: BB1429

#5

My dad wanted to name me ‘Sky’ — but he thought replacing the ‘y’ with an ‘i’ would be cute. Thank God my mom didn’t go along with it, or I may have been named ‘Ski.’worst baby names 9 6058513bb7537 700

Image credits: Bingo-Bongo-Cat

#6

My grandmother once put Virginia on a birth certificate when the parents had requested Vagina but didn’t know how to spell it.worst baby names 38 60585b172b75c 700

Image credits: stoneman9284

#7

My mom wanted to name me Kirby. After her vacuum. Thankfully my dad talked her out if it.worst baby names 25 60585661b5468 700

Image credits: Omfgimaweirdo

#8

I worked at a registrar for a while, and some of the standout names on the birth certificates I got were ‘Killer,’ ‘Syphilis,’ and ‘Sweet Prayer Sunrise’worst baby names 8 605851166d67c 700

Image credits: Not-An-Ocelot

#9

I once had a student named ‘Linoleum.’ Some midwife definitely dropped the ball on that one.worst baby names 19 605852bf190eb 700

Image credits: BigOrangeBall

#10

I had a coworker named Trina, and when she was pregnant, she told me that she and her husband decided to name their baby ‘Latrine.’ I had to explain to her that she was naming her poor baby after the hole in the ground that soldiers s**t into!”
“She was horrified, and changed it to ‘Katrina.’ Then, two days after the kid was born, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleansworst baby names 11 605851a067e30 700

Image credits: SpecificMost19

#11

As a med student, I had a patient who wanted to name her child ‘Mudpiles.’ The nurses silently protested and waited a few days. Mom eventually changed her mindworst baby names 4 60584ff00ee6f 700

Image credits: bigpsych5150

#12

My sister’s initials were almost PMS they swapped the first and middle namesworst baby names 29 605856eb77ae2 700

Image credits: B3C4U5E_

#13

Oh I got one. Goth parents (18ish) had a baby. They wanted to name this sweet baby girl Death. I could not stand for it. So I told them every time I went to type it into birth certificate it changed the form to a death certificate. They bought and that girl is now named Morticiaworst baby names 28 605856c4ca839 700

Image credits: SnooChocolates4286

#14

I lived with a student midwife when I was a student, and the first set of twins she delivered were named ‘Red’ and ‘Blue.’worst baby names 10 605851692a9ce 700

Image credits: Flaky_Walrus_668

#15

My ex-husband didn’t think it was fair that girls could be named ‘Grace’ or ‘Hope,’ and he seriously suggested ‘Pestilence,’ ‘War,’ or ‘Plague.’ And his choice for a girl was ‘Tangerine.’ Fortunately, we never had any childrenworst baby names 5 60585064df888 700

Image credits: Flaky_Walrus_668

#16

I work in a music store that offers lessons and rents instruments. We have a list of the oddest child names.

~ Jamuary, Qwest, Sixte, She’Bra, Battle, ShyAnn are just a few on there.

~ The best one was Alivia (pronouned Ah-Lee-Vee-ah). When speaking with the grandmother she said that the mom wanted to name her Olivia but the father hated the name. Dad saw a bottle of Aleve on the counter so he and the mother compromised and came up with Aliviaworst baby names 21 6058559aaae85 700

Image credits: SweetLeafSC

#17

Girl in highschool was named yanique (pronounced unique)

She was certainly one of a kindworst baby names 27 6058569ce8256 700

Image credits: Artist-Upbeat

#18

I used to work in labor and delivery. One of the very experienced nurses had two times she had to talk people out of naming their child Vagina… and explain why they were hearing that word they liked so muchworst baby names 24 6058564616069 700

Image credits: KMoneySupreme

#19

X Æ A-12worst baby names 30 60585a85da3f8 700

Image credits: [deleted]

#20

I tried to tell someone not to name their kid ‘Tarmac.’ They’d recently learned the word from NASCAR.worst baby names 6 6058508c16285 700

Image credits: Chris_Thrush

#21

Working as an ERT on overnights, I got called to OB to help out alot. One name will always stick with me because of how unfortunate it is for the kid and how ridiculous it all is. The mom was deep in meth and other substance abuse and she told us she wanted him named Zion. We were like oh cool no problem so we asked her to fill out the paperwork of everything for us to submit and put in the chart and she wrote down Vzyiion…..she looked us dead in the eyes and said, the V is silent….. She also gave him 5 middle names because she didn’t know which one was the father so he got em allworst baby names 22 605855dd3a105 700

Image credits: Athuny

#22

My uncle wanted to name his daughter Raider God. I’m glad they settled on Jadaworst baby names 33 605857f74ba48 700

Image credits: keikei94

#23

A baby here is named Covid Bryant… not even kidding. Look it upworst baby names 35 6058583bde714 700

Image credits: mesiolabio

#24

I know a teacher who has a elementary age student with a African name that unfortunately does not translate well into English North America, the kids name is Acock Ring, and yes I wish I was kiddingworst baby names 36 6058585986da5 700

Image credits: The_Roptor

#25

Ladies and Gentlemen, Adolph Hitler.

The parents then tried to claim they weren’t Nazis…. At firstworst baby names 37 6058587779db6 700

Image credits: ShamelessFox

#26

My kids have a friend in their class called Famous (male).worst baby names 40 60585b8bb9d2c 700

Image credits: Miserable-Gur7050

#27

My boyfriend was nearly called ‘Eggbert,’ but ‘Egg’ for short. So glad they decided against it!worst baby names 12 605851c195d99 700

Image credits: Greenqueen420420

#28

I used to work with youth who needed mental health support. I worked with 2 girls who had the following first names: Nawja (pronounced like nausea), & Cinnamon. I felt terrible for them.worst baby names 55 60586118f0ffb 700

Image credits: driven_under666

#29

When I travelled around Africa, there were people named for qualities the parents wanted for the kid. So met Happiness, Joy, Loveness, Goodluck (very common), Leadership, Sunshine.

My favourite: Shoes.worst baby names 39 60585b667b1d4 700

Image credits: Wildmongel1

#30

My dad loves Stevie Nicks and wanted to name all of us Rhiannon but my mom wouldn’t let him. So my oldest sisters name ended up being Stevie Nicole but now people always assume she’s a guy when they see the name Stevieworst baby names 42 60585bea0c1b2 700

Image credits: Schackadoo

#31

My ex wanted to name my son Jager (pronounced either Jagger or Yager) or Shotenjäger. That was a no.

Everyone talked me out of naming my daughter Evelyn (and nickname Evie – it’s a family name but apparently it’s for old women only lol)worst baby names 34 6058581f4592f 700

Image credits: tywy06

#32

Back in 2000-2004 I worked at a hospital doing admin and an ol’ battleaxe of a senior midwife stomped over with this angry-looking pregnant teenager in tow.

“Varvara!” Old Battleaxe roared. “Varvara, open up that internetty-thing on your computer!”

Old Battleaxe did not know computers, but she was well scary, so I agreed, and opened up the internetty-thing.

“Show this ridiculous child the first picture that appears when you type in the word Chanterelle!”

The angry pregnant teenager whined about how it was a pretty name and loads of girls were naming their little girl it, and then went stone-dead silent when she saw picture after picture of nasty sulphur-yellow mushrooms sprouting out of muddy forest floors.

“Told you! It’s a [friggin] fungus!” Old Battleaxe roared, and stamped off to be Terrifying and Sensible at other pregnant teenagers, leaving me with the angry one.

Turned out that the name she had actually been thinking of was Chardonnay, which is both the name of very expensive wine and the name of a character in a UK soap opera called Footballers Wives, which was about as classy as it sounds.

The baby got that as a middle name later on, which was fine, the first name was Sophie or something along those lines.worst baby names 0 6058577424ea4 700

Image credits: Varvara-Sidorovna

#33

My brother wanted to name our soon-to-be younger brother ‘Corn Peas,’ and our parents almost went with it because they felt bad for asking for his input and then rejecting it. Fortunately, they got over that.worst baby names 14 6058521124b49 700

Image credits: BigOrangeBall

#34

My coworker went to school with a girl named ‘Fallopia.’ I feel sorry for her when she’s in biology class and they talk about Fallopian tubes.worst baby names 15 60585237deac1 700

Image credits: NotMyKl

#35

I’m not a nurse or a midwife, but I was once paid to design birthday cards for a kid named ‘Mileage,’ pronounced My-Leige, like how you’d refer to a kingworst baby names 17 60585283e55d0 700

Image credits: JudgeJudyApproved

#36

Obligatory not a nurse or midwife.

Took a call at the call center once and this poor frazzled EMT told me that she was delivering a kid and the mom’s bowels voided, which is normal and apparently that’s called “miconium.”

She told her partner “Oop we got some miconium here” and the mom yells “Oh my god that’s such a beautiful name – you just named my baby!”

The caller said “Paul, I…I tried to tell her, but…there’s a kid running around named Birth S**t and I just don’t know how to handle being responsible for that”worst baby names 44 60585c310c2fb 700

Image credits: taintsrowthe3rd

#37

I currently work with someone who’s first name is “Imunique”. I don’t think any midwives or nurses were involved with the namingworst baby names 48 60585cb8426b0 700

Image credits: sungayray

#38

My mother wanted to name my baby brother ‘Ichabod Rusty.’ Our surname is ‘Ford,’ and she was determined to call him ‘Icky Rusty Ford.’ She tickled herself sh*tless through her pregnancy, but eventually my dad said ‘No,’ and they settled on something much more appropriate.worst baby names 13 605851f49dc9e 700

Image credits: Omega12596

#39

Not a nurse, but my mom had to talk my dad out of wanting to name me Prudence. I wouldn’t have mind being called Prudence, but that’s just me. Now I have an even weirder name that nobody knows how to pronounce because of a popular TV showworst baby names 32 605857dee5d69 700

Image credits: CheshyreCheese

#40

My boyfriend’s grandmother wanted to name her daughter Sunshine. The midwife said that wasn’t allowed because “it wasn’t a real name” and his grandmother had no other back up baby names. So, a few minutes later when she heard someone down the hall screaming “Tina”, she named her daughter Tina because she couldn’t think of anything else on the spot.worst baby names 31 605857b8d9c36 700

Image credits: goddesswithgatos

#41

As a Family Medicine Resident, I personally delivered two different girls named Khaleesi. This was around 2016, well before season 8. I imagine there might be some buyer’s remorse on the parents part at this pointworst baby names 45 60585c563267d 700

Image credits: Herzeleid

#42

My wife talked me out of naming our son Leviacus. She settled on Leviworst baby names 47 60585c96c45ca 700

Image credits: killerhacks86

#43

I was almost named Cinderall I have no idea what my dad was smoking at the timeworst baby names 46 60585c75bae27 700

Image credits: 313Lenox

#44

Not in the medical field but my fiance wants to name our first born son Murloc and I very much protest it.worst baby names 51 60585d0877199 700

Image credits: haydenmutt

#45

I have a false leg, and the midwife had to talk my parents out of naming me ‘Peggy.’worst baby names 3 60584fcb81d52 700

Image credits: OrangeMessy

#46

My daughter named my grandchildren…Draven Tyrion Dexter Zaraphil Johnson, and Andromeda Nymphadora Jane Zaraphil Johnson….I’m not happy , but at least we convinced her to leave Lucifer outworst baby names 54 60585d7505bf0 700

Image credits: OtterMosh

#47

I’m neither of these, but I had a classmate in university whose name was Meganathan.

…To date I don’t know why Nathan failed to sufficeworst baby names 52 60585d259a35c 700

Image credits: DebugLifeChoseMe

#48

Again, not quite what was being asked, but a friend of mine was almost called Apollo. To be fair, he was born on the day of the first moon landing in 1969, and his dad is Greek. His mom put her foot down, though, and he ended up Alexander, which is still a good Greek name (okay, technically Macedonian, but the Greeks claim him too).worst baby names 49 60585cd08f4cf 700

Image credits: YVRJon

#49

I was almost named Thaddeusworst baby names 50 60585cee13bdd 700

Image credits: nowforever13

#50

I once met a dude named Lovey. It was a family name. I think it was especially cute because he was such a big tough guy.worst baby names 43 60585c066cb34 700

Image credits: americasweetheart

#51

My brother talked my mother out of naming me ‘Mulan’, because he had a major crush on her and didn’t think a ‘sack of potatoes’ deserved her nameworst baby names 18 605852a237eb9 700

Image credits: Rose_Aryn

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