Most Epic ‘Eric Cartman’ Moments
Eric Cartman as one of the most iconic television characters of all time
Of all the characters ever created for television Eric Cartman stands proud as possibly the most evil.
Best Eric cartman Lines Ever
- 1. “I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I’d be like, HEY! You get your b*tch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!”
- 2. “Why does this happen every month? It seems like right about the same time every month, Kyle’s mom gets a bug up her ass about something, and I always end up getting screwed by it.”
- 3. “Too bad drinking scotch isn’t a paying job or Kenny’s dad would be a millionaire!”
- 4. “If some sissy chick tried to kick my ass I would say hey, missy, go knit me a sweater before I slap you in the face!”
- 5. “Mom — kitty is being a dildo.” — Cartman
“I know a special little kitty that’s sleeping with mommy tonight.” — Cartman’s mom replies
- 6. “Kenny’s family is so poor that yesterday, they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage.”
- 7. “Anyway Kenny, Yellow MegaMan is only $8.95, so maybe your mom can put it on layaway and make payments for a year or two.”
- 8. “Well I looked in my moms closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an ultravibe pleasure 2000.”
- 9. “It’s an Afghanistan goat, so it can’t stay here, or else it’ll choke on the sweet air of freedom.” — Cartman on a goat sent to him and his friends by some kids in Afghanistan.
- 10. “Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly!” — Wendy
“Intelligent and friendly on rye bread, with some mayonaise.” — Cartman