Issues You are Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

Hogwarts College of Witchcraft
  1. I cannot poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their Home colours point out that they’re “coated in bees”.
  2. Regardless of how good a pretend Australian accent I can do, I cannot imitate Steve Irwin throughout Care of Magical Creatures class.
  3. Rising marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms just isn’t “an additional credit score undertaking for Herbology”.
  4. “I’ve heard each attainable joke about Oliver Wooden’s identify” just isn’t a problem.
  5. I’m not allowed to aim to breed a liger.
  6. I cannot go to class skyclad.
  7. The Big Squid just isn’t an applicable date to the Yuletide Ball.
  8. I cannot use Umbridge’s quill to write down “I informed you I used to be hardcore”.
  9. I’ll cease referring to showering as “giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful”.
  10. Sharpening my wand within the widespread room is appropriate. “Sharpening my wand” within the widespread room just isn’t.
  11. If a classmate falls asleep, I cannot make the most of that truth and draw a Darkish Mark on their arm.
  12. Home elves are usually not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
  13. Beginning a betting pool on the destiny of this yr’s Protection Towards the Darkish Arts instructor is tasteless and cheesy, not a intelligent money-making idea.
  14. I cannot begin each Potions class by asking Professor Snape if immediately’s undertaking is appropriate to be used as a sexual lubricant.
  15. Including the identify “Bueller” to Professor Binns’ roster just isn’t humorous.
  16. “Springtime for Voldemort” just isn’t an appropriate suggestion for the category play.
  17. Seamus Finnegan just isn’t “after me Fortunate Charms”.
  18. I cannot confer with the Weasley twins as “bookends”.
  19. I cannot confer with the Patil twins as “bookends”.
  20. The Slytherin prefect is known as Draco Malfoy, not “Rocky Horror.”
  21. It’s exceptionally tasteless to inform Professor Lupin that “When you go Black, you by no means return.”
  22. I cannot name Lucius Malfoy “Jareth”.
  23. I cannot carry a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
  24. I’m not to confer with the Potions classroom as “Kitchen Stadium”.
  25. I cannot inform Ron and Hermione to “Get a room” every time they begin to combat.
  26. The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a purpose.
  27. I’m not a tribble Animagus.
  28. I’m allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I’m not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian satan, or piranha.
  29. I don’t weigh the identical as a duck.
  30. Remus Lupin doesn’t need a flea collar.
  31. Sirius Black just isn’t #24601.
  32. I cannot lick Trevor.
  33. I’ll cease asking the Arithmancy instructor what the sq. root of -1 is.
  34. I’m not being repressed.
  35. Calling Lucius Malfoy “Luscious Mouthful” is simply plain gross.
  36. I cannot change the password to the prefects’ bathtub to “Makes getting clear nearly as a lot enjoyable as getting soiled”.
  37. There is no such thing as a such factor as an Invisibility Thong.
  38. I’m not a Pinball Wizard.
  39. Asking “How do you retain a Gryffindor in suspense?” and strolling away is simply humorous the primary time.
  40. I cannot supply to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
  41. I cannot supply to pose nude for Dean Thomas.
  42. It’s a unhealthy concept to inform Professor Snape he takes himself too severely.
  43. It’s a unhealthy concept to inform Professor McGonagall she takes herself too severely.
  44. Sir Cadogan just isn’t one of many knights who say “NI”.
  45. I cannot supply to arrange tandoori owl.
  46. I’ll cease asking after we will be taught to make “Love Potion Quantity 9”.
  47. I cannot ask Dumbledore to point out me the sharp hat trick.
  48. I cannot greet Professor McGonagall with “What’s new, pussycat?”
  49. There’s not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth Home at Hogwarts, and I’m not a member of that home, nor am I its founder.
  50. I cannot take out a life insurance coverage coverage on Harry Potter.

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