1. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
2. How is a lady like a street?
They each have manholes.
3. Why are males like diapers?
They’re normally filled with shit, however fortunately disposable.
4. What kind of fowl offers the perfect head?
5. What’s higher than a chilly Bud?
A heat bush.
6. How do you get a nun pregnant?
Gown her up like an altar boy.
7. What must you do should you come throughout an elephant?
Apologize and wipe it off.
8. What do a bungee bounce and a hooker have in frequent?
They’re each low cost, quick, and if the rubber breaks, you’re just about screwed.
9. How are homosexual folks like mice?
They each hate pussies.
10. What did one butt cheek say to the opposite?
Collectively, we are able to cease this shit.
11. What’s the distinction between your job and a lifeless prostitute?
Your job nonetheless sucks.
12. What do you name an affordable circumcision
13. What do clergymen and McDonald’s have in frequent?
They each stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
14. How is tightrope strolling like getting a blowjob from somebody ugly?
If you wish to take pleasure in both, you completely can’t look down.
15. What did one of many prostitute’s knees say to the opposite?
How come we spend so little time collectively?
16. What do you name two males combating over a slut?
17. Why did the lady go away her husband after he spent all their cash on a penis enlarger?
She simply couldn’t take it any longer.
18. Why don’t little women fart?
They don’t get assholes til they’re married.
19. What do you name an incestuous nephew?
20. What do you do with a yr’s price of used condoms?
Soften them right into a tire and name it a goodyear.
21. What do you name a nanny with breast implants?
22. How is being within the army like getting a blowjob?
The nearer you get to discharge, the higher you’re feeling.
23. What do girls and noodles have in frequent?
Each wiggle while you eat them.
24. What do you get while you jingle a person’s balls?
A white Christmas.
25. What’s the distinction between a rabbi and a priest?
A rabbi cuts them off. A priest sucks them off.
26. What do you name a man who cries when he masturbates?
27. What did one broke hooker say to the opposite?
Are you able to lend me ten bucks ‘til I’m on my again once more?
28. Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
As a result of Kermit likes his pork candy and bitter.
29. What’s the true definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A person who hates each bone in a lady’s physique—besides his.
30. What does a slut say when her daughter asks the best way to spell “penis”?
“I want you’d requested me final evening, when it was on the tip of my tongue.”
31. How are Kentucky Fried Hen and a lady the identical?
As soon as you are taking away the legs and the breasts you’re left with one greasy field to place your bone in.
32. What does the receptionist at a sperm financial institution say as purchasers go away?
Thanks for coming!
33. What do you name a sex-crazed homosexual cannibal?
A head hunter.
34. Did you hear concerning the constipated accountant?
He couldn’t finances, so he needed to work it out with a paper and pencil.
35. Why did the semen cross the street?
Since you wore the unsuitable socks as we speak.
36. Why did the snowman out of the blue smile?
He may see the snowblower coming.
37. What’s the distinction between a clitoris and a cellular phone?
Nothing! Each cunt’s obtained one.
38. When is it okay to beat up a dwarf?
When he’s standing subsequent you girlfriend saying that her hair smells good.
39. What does a dumb slut say when you ask if she’s ever tried 69?
“Thirty dudes is probably the most I can screw in a single evening.”
40. How are girls like linoleum flooring?
In the event you lay ’em proper the primary time, you possibly can stroll throughout them for the following 20 years or so.
41. What’s the sq. root of 69?
Ate one thing.
42. What do you do when your cat’s lifeless?
Play with the neighbor’s pussy as a substitute.
43. What do you name a smiling Roman soldier with a chunk of hair caught between his entrance enamel?
44. What’s the distinction between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everybody on the celebration. A bitch sleeps with everybody on the celebration—besides you.
45. What do you get while you cross a dick with a potato?
46. Why did Jesus die a virgin?
Each single “wound” he touched closed up.
47. How is life like bathroom paper?
You’re both on a roll or taking shit from somebody.
48. What’s the easiest way to reply when a women asks “what’s up”?
“If I let you know, will you sit on it?”
49. What does it imply if a person remembers the colour of a lady’s eyes after a primary date?
She’s obtained small tits.
50. Wanna hear a joke about my dick?
Nevermind. It’s too lengthy.