Homer Simpson – Stupidest Sayings and Quotes

Son, for the remainder of your life you are going to go to all types of horrible occasions simply to spend time with women…dances, shops, your marriage ceremony…

I really like going to aquatic parks. Positive, they’ve worse rides than amusement parks, much less fish than aquariums, however the parking is ample!

I am asking as a result of I am purported to care about issues.

Thank goodness it is TGIF!

Marge, I assumed this was an inocuous lunch, but it surely’s turn out to be terribly ocuous!

Bingo! I really like that sport, however I can not bear in mind what to say while you win.

Ah, alcohol. The reason for, and the answer to, all of life’s issues.

What is the level of going out? We’re simply going to wind up again right here anyway.

Lisa, vampires are make consider, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.

Save me, Jeebus!

Details are meaningless – you could possibly use details to show something that is even remotely true!

I am not impressed simply. Wow! A blue automobile!

Effectively, crying is not gonna deliver him again, except your tears odor like pet food.

I do not hate your mom, I simply will not be unhappy when she dies.

You are promoting milk, JJ, and I’ve received a bitter abdomen.

How is training purported to make me really feel smarter? In addition to, each time I study one thing new, it pushes some previous stuff out of my mind – bear in mind once I took that dwelling winemaking course, and I forgot find out how to drive?

Who’re you? Why am I right here? I need solutions now or I need them ultimately!

Possibly, simply as soon as, somebody will name me ‘Sir’ with out including, ‘You are making a scene’.

I am a ‘Spalding Grey’ in a ‘Rick Dees’ world.

Donuts…is there something they cannot do?

Making an attempt is step one towards failure.

As a result of they’re silly, that is why. That is why everyone does every little thing!

That is it! You individuals have stood in my approach lengthy sufficient. I will clown school!

You realize these balls that they placed on automobile antennas so you will discover them within the car parking zone? These ought to be on each automobile!

Marge, I will miss you a lot. And it isn’t simply the intercourse! It is also the meals preparation.

Once I take a look at the grins on all the kids’s faces, I simply know they’re about to jab me with one thing.

America‘s well being care system is second solely to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Nice Britain, nicely…all of Europe. However you may thank your fortunate stars we do not reside in Paraguay!

It is like one thing out of that “twilighty” present about that zone.

Majestic eagle! Similar to me, however ashamed of his baldness.

It isn’t simple to juggle a pregnant spouse and a troubled youngster, however in some way I managed to slot in eight hours of TV a day.

English? Who wants that? I am by no means going to England!

I like my beer chilly, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.

With out our immigrants, who will kick our discipline targets, or prepare our white tigers?

Oh no! What have I carried out? I smashed open my little boy’s piggy financial institution, and for what? A couple of measly cents, not even sufficient to purchase one beer. Wait a minute, lemme depend and ensure…not even shut!

Beer – now THERE’S a short lived resolution. Oh, each time I attempt to sort things, it simply makes issues worse. I am gonna repair this!

If anybody wants me, I will be taking a popcorn bathtub. It is a factor I examine within the Males’s Well being journal in a dream!

I do not know what to consider anymore. Possibly it is time to name Devil. Is {that a} 212?

The child/mother or father contract. Unenforceable, but you’re feeling such as you did not fully cave.

I’m sick and uninterested in attempting to decode you such as you’re some form of human being separate from myself!

Oh, Marge, you saved me from the hazard you place me in. I’m SO pleased and offended!

Ah, Ethnictown. The place hard-working immigrants dream of being lazy over-fed People.

You may have to talk up, I am carrying a towel.

These guys had been the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Prolonged guarantee? How can I lose?

Mmmmmm – 52 slices of American cheese.

Hey, I requested for ketchup – I am eatin’ salad right here!

I believe Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational expertise. Everybody at all times says they must work twice as laborious once I’m round!

Son, while you take part in sporting occasions – it isn’t whether or not you win or lose, it is how drunk you get.

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to hear.

Simply because I do not care does not imply I do not perceive!

God bless these pagans.

I am attempting to repair your mom’s digital camera. Simple, simple – Hmmm. I believe I want an even bigger drill.

You tried your greatest and also you failed miserably. The lesson is ‘by no means attempt’.

Oh, every little thing’s too damned costly as of late. Like this Bible. It value 15 bucks! And discuss a preachy e-book! All people’s a sinner! Besides this man.

Do not let Krusty’s loss of life get you down, boy. Individuals die on a regular basis, similar to that. Why, you could possibly get up useless tomorrow! Effectively, good evening!

When you really need one thing on this life, it’s a must to work for it. Now, quiet, they’re about to announce the lottery numbers!

You could not idiot your mom on the foolingest day of your life in case you had an electrified fooling machine.

If something occurs to Marge, we’ll all be orphans!

Go forward and play the blues if it will make you content.

I am a white male, age 18 to 49. Everybody listens to me, regardless of how dumb my solutions are.

With $10,000, we might be millionaires! We may purchase every kind of helpful issues like… love!

All proper, let’s not panic. I am going to make the cash by promoting one in every of my livers. I can get by with one.

Woo hoo! 350 {dollars}! Now I should purchase 70 transcripts of Nightline!

Oh, individuals can give you statistics to show something. 14% of individuals know that.

Once I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of energy – like God should really feel when he is holding a gun.

You realize boys, a nuclear reactor is lots like girls. You simply must learn the guide and press the proper button.

One A.M. lovin’ and two A.M. steak? Evening marriage guidelines!

I hope I did not mind my injury!

Nuts and gum, collectively eventually!

We’ll die collectively, like a father and son ought to.

Allow us to have a good time this settlement with the including of chocolate to take advantage of.

Aw, sweetie, don’t be concerned! I will come again so attractive and offended!

We’re gonna get a brand new TV. Twenty-one inch display screen, life like flesh tones, and slightly cart so we will wheel it into the eating room on holidays!

First you do not need me to get the horse, you then need me to take it again. Make up your thoughts!

Oh, they’ve Web on computer systems now.

Son, a lady is lots like a… a fridge! They’re about six toes tall, 300 kilos. They make ice, and… um… Oh, wait a minute. Truly, a lady is extra like a beer.

That sucker soaks up flattery like a twinkie soaks up gravy!

Effectively, at the very least I am going to die the American approach: out of the country, carrying quick pants!

This does not occur in America! Possibly Ohio, however not America!

Effectively, the toaster’s by no means lied to me earlier than!

Have you ever forgotten what you promised at our marriage ceremony? To like and cherish, to assist and abet?

Hey, boat retailer? I would wish to order a ship. What do you imply, DIAL TONE?

Assist me, God! What’s it I am paying you for each Sunday?

The Fourth of July is the someday a 12 months when our metropolis places on her excessive heels and tube prime, and leans into America’s automobile window!

Breakfast in mattress is so a lot better than breakfast in a chair!

Marge, in case you had been married to DaVinci, you would not inform him to not DaVinc!

Pack your winter coat! We will Canada’s warmest metropolis!

Kettle corn: the heroin of the farmer’s market.

Hmmm. The French have gotten into the wine sport? Good luck catching up with the large boys!

Marge I swear, I by no means thought that you’d discover out.

Books are ineffective: I solely ever learn one e-book, “To Kill A Mockingbird” – and it gave me completely no perception on find out how to kill mockingbirds! Positive it taught me to not choose a person by the colour of his pores and skin, however what good does THAT do me?

Shut up, mind, or I am going to stab you with a Q-Tip!

I’m so good, I’m so good, S M R T, I imply S M A R T.

I am not gonna deceive you, Marge. See ya quickly!

Bear in mind the way you wished me to get that costly operation? Effectively, now I can afford a motorbike!

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