1.) Dialog with Girl Nancy Astor
Girl Astor : Winston, if I had been your spouse, I would poison your tea.
Winston : Nancy, if I had been your husband, I would drink it.
2.) Dialog with Bessie Braddock
Bessie : Sir, you are drunk.
Winston : And also you, madam, are ugly. However the distinction is, within the morning, I shall be sober.
*the burn returns*
3.) Dialog with a younger man from Eton
Younger man (after seeing Churchill go away the toilet with out washing his palms) : At Eton they taught us to clean our palms after utilizing toilet.
Churchill : Effectively, at Harrow they taught us to not piss on our palms.
*the burn rises*
4.) Dialog with a woman (unknown)
Churchill : Madam, will you sleep with me for 5 million kilos?
Girl : My goodness, Mr. Churchill! Effectively, I suppose! We must focus on phrases, in fact! ,
Churchill : Would you sleep with me for 5 kilos?
Girl : Mr. Churchill, what sort of girl do you suppose I’m!
Churchill : Madam, we have already established that, now we’re haggling about worth.