Category: Jokes

18 new Halloween jokes from 2020

Q: Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy?
A: At the ghost-ery store!

Q: What do owls say when they go trick or treating?
A: Happy Owl-ween!

Q: What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters?
A: Booberries!

Q: Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with?
A: His ghoul friend.

Q: What Halloween candy is never on time for the party?
A: Choco-LATE!

Q: Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat?
A: Boo jeans.

Q: What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging?
A: You never know which witch is which!

Q: What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
A: Prank-enstein!

Q: What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
A: Straw-berries.

Q: What does a witch use to do her hair?
A: Scarespray!

Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
A: He is mist.

Q:How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
A: A pumpkin patch.

Q: Why don’t vampires have more friends?
A: Because they are a pain in the neck.

Q: What position does a ghost play in hockey?
A: Ghoulie.

Q: What do you give a vampire when he’s sick?
A: Coffin-drops.

Q: What is a ghost’s nose full of?
A: Boooooogers!

Q: Have you heard how popular the local cemetery is?
A: People are just dying to get in.

Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It over swept.

18 new Halloween jokes from 2020

#joke #halloween #prank #short #pun

Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

17 new Thanksgiving jokes for 2020

Q: What happens when cranberries get sad?
A: They turn into blueberries.

Q: Why was the soup at Thanksgiving so pricey?
A: It had 24 carrots.

Q: What kind of ‘tude is appropriate at the family dinner?
A: Gratitude.

Q: Why was the turkey put in jail?
A: The police suspected fowl play.

Q: What’s Frankenstein’s favorite Thanksgiving dish?
A: Monster mash potatoes and grave-y.

Q: Why did Mom’s turkey seasoning taste a little off last year?
A: She ran out of thyme.

Q: What did the Pilgrim wear to dinner?
A: A (har)vest.

Q: What can you call your brother who falls asleep after dinner?
A: Your napkin.

Q: What did the salad say to the butter who kept making jokes?
A: You’re on a roll.

Q: What’s a running turkey called?
A: Fast food.

Q: Who should you invite to your Friendsgiving?
A: Your close group of Palgrims.

Q: Why did the turkey bring a microphone to dinner?
A: He was ready for a roast.

Q:On Thanksgiving, what does Dad have in common with an exhausted baseball player?
A: They’re both likely to fall asleep between plates.

Q: What’s one thing that you’ll have in common with a teddy bear on Thanksgiving?
A: You’ll both be filled with stuffing.

Q:How can you unlock the greatest Thanksgiving experience ever?
A: By making sure to bring the tur-key.

Q: With Coronavirus being a possible concern this year, what’s likely to be the most popular side dish?
A: Masked potatoes.

Q: Why were the beans accused of being jealous of the other side dishes?
A: They were so green.

17 new Thanksgiving jokes for 2020

#joke #thanksgiving

Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

26 funny new Thanksgiving jokes

Q: What happens when you’re too harsh on cranberries and make them sad?
A: They turn into blueberries.

Q: What’s the difference between Election Day and Thanksgiving?
A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day. On Election Day, you get a turkey for four years.

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: It was Thanksgiving Day and he wanted people to think he was a chicken!

A first grade class was asked to write a paragraph called “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving.”
Little Johnny’s began, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”

Q: When did the Pilgrims first say, “God bless America?”
A: The first time they heard America sneeze.

Q: What do you call Thanksgiving if you’re selfish?
A: Thanks-taking.

My husband doesn’t think housework is a full-time job. So for Thanksgiving, I served him a raw turkey because revenge is a dish best served cold.

Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?
He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.

Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A: A turkey that can pluck itself!

Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn?
A: Where’s popcorn?

Q: What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
A: God save the kin.

Q: What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?
A: Quack! Quack!

Q: Which part of the turkey do drummers prefer?
A: The drumstick, or course!

Q: What’s the main ingredient in Thanksgiving bread?
A: May-flour!

Q: Where’s the only place that Christmas comes before Thanksgiving?
A: In the dictionary!

Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
A: Squash!

Q: What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
A: Foul weather!

Q: What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
A: Wing, wing.

Q: What’s the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook?
A: Pilgram.

Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: He was very thinkful.

Q: Why did the Pilgrim eat a candle?
A: He wanted a light snack.

Q: Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?
A: He lost track of thyme.

Q: Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
A: To try to hatchet.

Q: Why do turkeys lay eggs?
A: Because if they dropped them, they would break.

Q: If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?
A: A poul-tree.

Q: What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on a hill?
A: An eggroll.

26 funny new Thanksgiving jokes

#joke #thanksgiving

Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net