‘bridget and her pimp’ (by Travis B. )
once upon a time……..in florida…
there was a beautiful girl named Bridget, who, like many other girls like her, was forced to live in terrible living conditions because the economy was in rough shape… she was witness to all manner of disgusting acts by her fellow floridians. she was a prostitute, and happened to be quite good at it… she was taken in and housed by a man named LIL Jamaica, the most infamous pimp in the world.
Lil jamaica and his operation however fell on hard times also, causing lil jamaica to let some girls go, because people weren’t paying like they once did. Bridget, though she was the number one girl, decided to leave and go try for her GED. and she did it too, she got her GED, and then for a while she started waiting tables… she actually made more money waiting tables then being a prostitute……however…
Bridget had spent too much time in her field, and she would often cry at night remember the good days, on the open road… the call of the street is too loud to ignore, so she went back to Lil jamaica a few years later. the economy now booming. Lil jamaica was overjoyed to take Bridget back in… to the contrary, it was perfect timing, as Lil jamaica was hosting their annual celebration.
Bridget had won several other awards for being the best girl, so naturally, she WANTED this new award because it symbolized something… Bridget was SO good, in the good ol days, they built a statue of bridget right there on the corner, and it was funded by the government. it had a button on it, all any guy had to do was go up, press the button, and then say “yo, bridget, lemme get in on some fun witchu, guuur”, and then moments later, a black car with tinted out windows pulls up, they take you on a ride to meet with Lil jamaica and the elite pimp syndicate, where they will agree on a schedule.
her statue was taken down by the angry people of florida, nobody knows why they hated the statue so much….. so needless to say, bridget was dead set on claiming that new trophy for her self to make up for the shame of losing her statue. only, there was a massive roadblock………
sarah is one of the newer girls who joined some time before Bridget returned, and Sarah is one of lil jamaica’s new best. the competition between lil jamaica’s girls is fierce, and not friendly. Everybody knew that Sarah was already set to win that award, but Bridget in all her glory had a plan;
overthrow Sarah!…….how was she gonna do it? well..
on the award stage, Bridget painted a red x right beside the podium. above, is a bucket filled to the brim with, nasty, yucky salty sea water. “im gonna drop this water right on Sarah’s head, and wash all her insect makeup off…..then, lil jamaica will love me again… we’ll see who gets lil jamaica’s award this year, you backstabbing BITCH!”
and then the day came……………….Sarah is about to give her speech, Bridget gets in place and then Sarah stands on the X…..
“this award means so much to me and my family…..”
Bridget cut the line, and down splashed the yucky sea water, and it cleaned Sarah’s makeup off just like Bridget had planned. Sarah stormed out the door crying, and lil jamaica followed after her outside. when Bridget went out there to see the fruit of her labor, to everybody’s shock
SARAH WAS ACTUALLY A MALE NAMED SEBASTIAN the whole time………….!!!
“WHY SARAH WHY?????? how could u do me like that bb gurr? i luved ya, and you tricked me” said Lil jamaica
“I’m sorry Lil jamaica… I didnt wanna hurt nobody…. I REALLY wanted that award…..I wanted it SO badly, i guess i just lost sight of what really matters…..you know what? from this day onward, my name is Sebastian, and i love women.”
so off Sebastian went to get ear spacers and to pursue women. he was never seen or heard from EVER again.
Bridget and Lil pimp made up, and then Bridget was given the award, and she was back on the sidewalk asap.