Psychological hospital telephone menu
Hi there and thanks for calling The State Psychological Hospital.
Please choose from the next choices menu:
In case you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
In case you are co-dependent, please ask somebody to press 2 for you.
When you have a number of personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
In case you are paranoid, we all know who you’re and what you need, keep on the road so we will hint your name.
In case you are delusional, press 7 and your name might be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
In case you are schizophrenic, hear rigorously and a bit of voice will inform you which quantity to press.
In case you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which quantity you press, nothing will make you cheerful anyway.
In case you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
In case you are bipolar, please go away a message after the beep or earlier than the beep or after the beep. Please look forward to the beep.
When you have short-term reminiscence loss, press 9. When you have short-term reminiscence loss, press 9. When you have short-term reminiscence loss, press 9.
When you have low shallowness, please hold up our operators are too busy to speak with you.
In case you are menopausal, put the gun down, hold up, activate the fan, lie down and cry. You gained’t be loopy ceaselessly.
If you are blonde, don’t press any buttons, you’ll simply mess it up.
This coming week is Nationwide Psychological Well being Care week. You are able to do your half by remembering to contact at the least one unstable particular person to indicate you care.
(Nicely, my job is finished …..Your flip!)