Best Signs as parks and rec quotes

Aries: “Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.”

Taurus: “You had me at meat tornado.”

Cancer: “If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party.”

Gemini: “Guys love it when you can show them you’re better than they are at something they love.”

Leo: “Alcohol is fun and delicious.”

Virgo: “One time I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar. I thought it was terrible wine.”

Libra: “Treat yo self!!”

Scorpio: “I’m fine. It’s just that life is pointless, and nothing matters, and I’m always tired.”

Sagittarius: “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”

Capricorn: “I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.”

Aquarius: “I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know I’m doing it well.”

Pisces: “I think comic sans always screams ‘fun’.”