Batman Jokes – Greatest Batman Jokes and One Liners

Q: How does Batman’s mom name him to dinner?
A: (tune of 1960’s theme) Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Batman!!!

Q: Why did Bruce’s date go badly?
A: As a result of he has BAT breath!

Q: What does Batgirl put on to mattress?
A: Her Darkish Knight robe!

Q: What is the distinction between Batman and a robber?
A: Batman can go right into a retailer with out robin!!

Q: What’s a Batman’s favourite a part of the joke?
A: The “punch” line!

Q: What does Batman put in his drinks?
A: Simply ice.

Q: When is Joker not plotting a homicide?
A: “When he is using his Harley.”!

Q: What do you name a comic book guide film with none sidekicks?
A: Batman and Robinhood.

Q: Why was Bruce Wayne so good at baseball?
A: As a result of he was Batman.

Q: What occurs when Batman and Robin combat a steamroller?
A: They change into Flatman and Ribbon.

Q: What do you get while you mix Robin with a Vita-Combine?
A: Robin the Boy Blender.

Q: What number of caped crusaders does it take to alter a light-bulb?
A: None. They just like the darkish.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin earlier than they bought within the Batmobile?
A: Get within the Batmobile Robin!

Q: Why did Batman flush the bathroom?
A: As a result of it was his responsibility!

Q: How does batmans mom name him to dinner?
A: She would not they’ve a butler.

Q: What’s a Batman’s favourite drink?
A: Fruit punch!

Q: When does Poison Ivy change her underpants?
A: Once they get dirty!

Q: Whats the distinction between Batman and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they’re each fictional characters

What do you get the bat who has the whole lot? How about unmurdered mother and father, you douchebag.

Superman checked out Bruce Wayne and mentioned: “Cease appearing like a bat boy, okay Batman?”

Batman would not make New Yr’s Resolutions. He ENFORCES them.

BECAUSE I'M BATMAN

Superpowers
Superman was feeling bored after an extended break of crime combating & wished to exit & get together so he known as Batman to ask if he wished to go to a membership & decide up some women.

Batman mentioned Robin was ailing & he needed to take care of him.

A bit of disillusioned, Superman known as Spider-man to see if wished to seize a few beers. Spiderman informed him he had a date with Catwoman.

As a final resort, Superman flew over to Wonderwoman’s condo to see If she was free.

As he landed on her balcony, he noticed Marvel Lady bare on the mattress along with her legs open.

Superman thought to himself “I am quicker than a rushing bullet, I might be in there, have intercourse & out once more earlier than she knew what was occurring.”

So Superman did his tremendous factor in a break up second & flies off fortunately.

In the meantime on the mattress, Wonder woman mentioned “Did you hear something?”

“NO”! mentioned the Invisible Man, “However my ass hurts like hell!”

Selecting a Battle

Per week after his spouse left him, Jim went out to the native watering gap.
After an extended night of ingesting, Jim was thrown out of the bar as regular. On his manner house he noticed a nun strolling down the road.
After taking a look at her twice he ran over and tackled her, then proceeded to beat the residing daylights out of her.
Some folks passing by noticed this and known as the police.
Because the police have been pulling him away in handcuffs he regarded again and mentioned, “I believed you would be more durable than that, Batman.”

4 Corners
There’s a massive room with 4 corners.
Within the first nook, you discover Superman.
Within the second nook you discover Batman.
Within the third nook you discover Spiderman.
And within the fourth nook you discover a particularly clever, 100% pure blonde lady with an incredible ultra-thin magazine-model determine.
Within the middle of the room there’s a pot of gold.
Q:Who will get to the pot of gold first?

A: None, as a result of none of those characters exist.

Three Ladies
Three ladies — one engaged, one married and one a mistress — are chatting about their relationships and determined to amaze their males. All three purchase black leather-based bras ” stiletto heels, and masks for his or her eyes. After just a few days, they meet over lunch to match notes.

The engaged ladies says:
The opposite night time when my boyfriend came visiting, he discovered me within the black leather-based bodice, tall stilettos, and a masks. He mentioned, “you’re the lady of my life. I like you”. Then we made love all night time lengthy.

The mistress says:
I met my lover at his workplace and I used to be sporting the leather-based bodice, heels, masks over my eyes and a raincoat. After I opened the raincoat, he did not say a phrase — however we had wild intercourse all night time.

The married woman says:
I despatched the youngsters to my mom’s home all enthusiastic about having alone time with my husband. Had the lights dim, candles going, I used to be sporting the leather-based bodice, black stockings, stilettos heels and a masks over my eyes.

As quickly as he got here to the door and noticed me and mentioned,”What’s for dinner, BATMAN?

Poison Ivy & Harley Quinn
Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn resolve have their thoughts set on robbing Gotham Metropolis Financial institution.

“Now, keep in mind the plan,” Poison Ivy tells Harley.

“Yeah, yeah, no drawback!” She says, and walks into the financial institution. Ivy waits within the getaway automobile.

Time passes by ten minutes…Ivy begins getting fearful…fifteen minutes…Ivy thinks about driving away.

All of a sudden Harley comes dashing out of the financial institution, dragging a protected behind her all tied up in rope. Behind her, the guard comes operating out…along with his pants down!

Ivy groans. “Harley, you fool! I mentioned to tie up the guard and blow the protected! NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!

Tenting
Batman and Robin are tenting within the desert, arrange their tent and are asleep.

Some hours later, Batman wakes his trustworthy good friend. “Robin, search for on the sky and inform me what you see.”

Robin replies, ” I see hundreds of thousands of stars.”

“What does that inform you?” asks Batman.

Robin ponders for a minute.

“Astronomically talking, it tells me that there are hundreds of thousands of galaxies and doubtlessly billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, it seems to be roughly 1 / 4 previous three. Theologically, it is evident the Lord is omnipotent and we’re small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it appears we can have a fantastic day tomorrow. What does it inform you, Batman?”

“Robin, you fool, somebody has stolen our tent.”

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