Actual statements found on insurance forms

* Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have.

* The other car collided with me without giving warning of its intentions.

* I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

* A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

* A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.

* The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

* I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed for the embankment.

* To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front of me, I hit a pedestrian

* My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

* I told the police I was not injured, but removing my cap I found I had a fractured skull.

Letter Written to an Insurance Company – Lost Presence of Mind

* The pedestrian had no idea in which direction to run, so I ran over him.

* The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

* An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.

* I saw a slow-moving sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

* I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I hit him.

* The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.

* I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave out causing the accident.

* I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had the accident.